Feminism and faith : Finding common ground

On March 8, Zimbabwe joins the global community in celebrating International Women’s Day. The day, which is celebrated annually, commemorates women’s fight for equality and focuses mainly on issues such as gender equality, reproductive rights, domestic violence and the discrimination of women. As a signatory to the UN Convention on the Elimination of all forms of Discrimination against Women,

Zimbabwe has adopted policies that redress past imbalances and ensure women enjoy equality before the law.

Women’s quest for social and economic justice is indeed a noble cause, considering the discrimination and abuse they suffered in a male-dominated society in a bygone age. The frank truth is that women were marginalised and treated as second-class citizens in their own motherland. In fact, they were treated as virtual nonentities. In light of this, those in Government deserve kudos for adopting policies aimed at creating equality between the sexes.

However, the tragic irony is that radical feminists have now jumped on the gender equality bandwagon and are using the quest for equality as a springboard to unseat, dethrone or topple the man from his rightful place as head of the family. Listening to debates and seminars on gender issues and perusing through feminist literature, one gets the impression that radical feminists are waging an undeclared war against men.

What feminists reveal in their literature is not only thought-provoking, but does not leave one to any imagination whatsoever, as regards to their goals and objectives. First and foremost, feminists aver that marriage is archaic and, by its very nature, oppressive, since women are always at the bottom in submission to their husbands. They openly challenge the age-old maxim that a woman can only be accepted within the marriage institution as long as she remains subservient, sexually submissive and obedient to her husband.

They appear to be totally oblivious of the fact that marriage is God-ordained. As ordained by God, the marriage union is a holy thing. It is so holy that, in His Word, our benevolent Creator uses the marriage union as a type of relationship between Christ and His Church (Ephesians 5 verse 22-24). What adds salt to injury is that feminists have rejected God and poured scorn on the Holy Bible, arguing that it is a tool being used in a male- dominated society to oppress women. Indeed, it is a cause of great concern that due to feminists’ deplorable behaviour, faithful commitment to moral integrity in marriage is now rare, ridiculed and divorce cases are on the upswing, thereby posing a grave threat to the institution of marriage. According to some reports, this has seen scores of young children growing up in a single-parent family.

It is pertinent to point out that in today’s topsy-turvy world, the roles men and women play in society are rapidly changing. In the family unit, for example, there’s a tussle for leadership between husbands and wives, and this is causing domestic violence in many homes, leading to divorce. In the golden past, divorce was unheard of because people believed in the sanctity of marriage – that a man’s role as father and head of the family was God-given and therefore immutable.

Because men and women knew and kept their rightful roles in marriage, there was peace and stability in most marriages.

When couples tied the knot, it was always “till death do us part.” Today, things have changed and many people now view divorce as a parachute out of their marital squabbles. But it is essential to understand that God wants marriages to last, not as a struggle for survival, but as a happy journey. The Bible provides guidance for a happy, long-lasting marriage. The Apostle Paul admonished husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church and willingly died for it (Ephesians 5 verse 25). He also instructed wives to submit to their husbands as to the Lord (verse 22). This calls for husbands and wives to love each other, for better or worse, in sickness and health, in prosperity or in adversity, until death separates them.

One Christian family and marriage therapist had this to say: “A husband has to love his wife as an equal human being. He should love her in a way that makes her happiness and welfare one of his highest priorities. But there can be no bigger evidence than this: husbands are naturally selfish. They think a lot about their jobs, their hobbies, their hopes and dreams, but not about their wives’ day-to-day happiness and overall welfare. Yet, the Bible in Proverbs 18 verse 22 says ‘He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favour from the Lord.” This wife — this ‘good thing’ — is by far the most precious part of his life. Her happiness simply must be more important to him than his hobbies and his desire to stay out late drinking beer with his buddies.

“A loving husband will show his love by consciously working to build his wife into a fulfilled and confident person. To their disgrace, a lot of men criticise, malign or ignore their wives. In so doing, they smash their wives’ self- esteem and transform them into fearful, timid, depressed relics of the formerly vivacious people they were when they first married. When a man loves his wife, he compliments her, praises her in front of others and confides in her in everything he does. He ‘honours’ her as 1 Peter 3 verse 7 commands. A husband who loves his wife will spend a lot of time with her. He will talk to her about everything on his mind and listen to her as well.

Unfortunately, many men want someone they can gripe with, but they forget that the wife has worries and frustrations too. They forget that she needs someone to talk to and with. A husband who truly loves his wife takes great pains to always be tender with her, both in how he speaks and how he acts. Some husbands, to their shame, are rough and gruff with their mates.”

At this point, it is crucially important to state that marriage is a two-way street. In other words, a good marriage requires effort on both sides. In submitting to her husband, a virtuous woman should learn to share in his hopes and dreams. The type of submission God requires is more than mere acquiescence. It is positive, active involvement in her husband’s life. Proper submission, in the Biblical spirit, means a woman will strive to please her husband in everything she does. Remember, love is an outgoing concern for the one loved. It is a desire to please the other person.

“What is lacking in most marriages all over the world is love. Some women think they love their husbands, and yet they pooh-pooh all of their husbands’ ideas and hopes. They actively undermine their husband’s confidence and cause them never to reach their potential.

“This is because they refuse to share in their husbands’ dreams and goals. And yet, God created a woman to be a helper and companion to a man (Genesis 2 verse 18). The husband needs to know that his wife is working with him, responsibly caring for the children and seeing that the household is pulling in his direction, and not against him.

Another thing a wife must do is to avoid trying to boss her husband around. The husband is the head of the home. That is the teaching of the Bible (1 Corinthians 11 verse 3).However, the sad irony is that today we find that the father’s role in the family has been weakened by his own lack of leadership and by the trends in society. But when a woman assumes leadership of the home, she cannot be said to be submissive to her husband. A home with a woman as head is paraplegic. When a woman assumes leadership of the home, she upsets the governmental structure God ordained for the family, and automatically lowers the potential happiness level in that home,” said Father Alexio Mukaro, a marriage and child counsellor in the Roman Catholic Church.

As we celebrate International Women’s Day, it is crucially important to remind ourselves that marriage is not something that evolved through the reasoning and gradual civilisation of man.
Marriage was devised and ordained by God for a special reason that has remained an enigma to most people, especially radical feminists who, in their fervent desire to reverse roles in the family, are already positioning themselves as heads of their families, thereby taking over their husbands’ God-given roles.

While marriage is a physical union, it is a divine institution, which was established for purposes of procreation and to provide a conducive environment for the training, protection and security of children.
Human babies are born helpless and need the tender care, loving instruction, patient training, discipline and the warm affection and love of a father and mother. That is one of the fundamental reasons why God created and instituted marriage and the family unit. I rest my pen.

*Cuthbert Mavheko is a freelance writer and theologian. He can be contacted on 0773963448/0775522095 or email [email protected]