Blessing Chizhande
THE safety and well-being of children is a shared responsibility, but parents and guardians have a particularly important role to play in creating an environment where children feel safe, protected and confident enough to speak about anything that concerns them.
Child safeguarding begins with paying attention to seemingly small warning signs. Parents should be alert when an adult or another person holds a child’s hand for an unusually long time, repeatedly touches the child or engages in unnecessary physical contact such as excessive hugging, holding the shoulders or touching the hands. Children should be taught from an early age that they have a right to personal space and that they can say “no” when a form of contact makes them uncomfortable.
Parents should also listen carefully to the language used by people around their children. Inappropriate jokes, sexualised comments, suggestive conversations or language that makes a child uncomfortable should never simply be dismissed. Adults who regularly interact with children must understand and re-spect appropriate boundaries.
Sleepovers also require careful consideration. Before allowing a child to spend the night at a friend’s home, parents should know the family, understand who will be present and be satisfied that the envi-ronment is safe. The same level of caution should apply to parties and social gatherings. Parents should know where their children are going, who they will be with and how they can be contacted.
Children should also be taught practical safety measures. At parties or social gatherings, they should never accept drinks that have already been opened or left unattended. They should request an uno-pened beverage and open it themselves. This is particularly important for girls, who may face additional risks in certain social environments.
Parents should be mindful of children spending excessive amounts of unsupervised time with domestic workers, including housemaids and gardeners. This does not mean that every domestic worker poses a danger, rather, it is about maintaining healthy boundaries, appropriate supervision and ensuring that no adult is placed in a situation where inappropriate behaviour can occur unnoticed.
Technology has also created new safeguarding challenges. Children should be warned about strangers who send inappropriate or pornographic images, videos or messages. Such behaviour is a serious red flag. Children should never respond, share the material or keep it secret. They should immediately tell a parent, teacher or another trusted adult.
Parents should also caution children about people who offer expensive gifts such as mobile phones, money, clothes or other valuables without a legitimate reason. Gifts can sometimes be used to gain a child’s trust, create a sense of obligation or manipulate them into keeping secrets. Children should un-derstand that they do not owe anyone affection, friendship or secrecy because they have received a gift.
At the same time, safeguarding should not be based only on warnings about strangers. Children can sometimes be harmed by people they already know and trust. Therefore, children must learn that famil-iarity does not remove the need for boundaries. They should be encouraged to report behaviour that makes them uncomfortable, regardless of who the person is.
Parents should also observe the behaviour of visitors and other adults who frequently come into the home. Pay attention to how people interact with your children, whether they respect boundaries and whether your child appears uncomfortable, fearful or unusually withdrawn around a particular person.
Most importantly, make time for your children. Talk to them. Listen to them. Eat together, work togeth-er, play together and create moments where they can freely express themselves. A child who knows that a parent will listen without immediately judging or dismissing them is more likely to report a trou-bling experience.
Parents should also ensure that children receive regular medical check-ups and that any unexplained physical, emotional or behavioural changes are taken seriously.
The greatest protection a parent can give a child is not simply physical presence, but emotional availabil-ity. A parent can be physically present in the home yet remain emotionally absent. Children need par-ents who are available to listen, guide, correct, encourage and protect them.
Let us therefore become our children’s safe place. Let us teach them about boundaries, respect and per-sonal safety while creating homes where they know they can speak openly. Safeguarding the boy and girl child begins with being present, being alert and being willing to listen.
Be present. Listen. Guide. Protect.
Dr Manners Msongelwa is an author, teacher and youth coach. He can be contacted on +263 771 019 392
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