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Living a life of abstinence isn’t something you just wake up one day and decide to do, cold turkey.
It takes a lot of introspection, preparation and mental fortitude to choose to consistently ignore a primal instinct that many of us feel often. No amount of “temptation” to eat the proverbial forbidden fruit will move South Africa’s Kabelo Madimabe to be shaken from his resolve, though.
He is clear why he wants to live a celibate life. Almost 10 years ago, the then 19-year-old Kabelo was feeling lost. One thing he was clear about, however, was there was a divine instruction over his life. However, it was only while listening to a sermon by Grace Bible Church’s pastor, Bishop Mosa Sono, that the 19-year-old got the clarity he so sorely desired: God wanted him to live a life of abstinence.
He tells DRUM that this is a journey that has changed the trajectory of his life and it all changed in a sermon.
“If as a young person, you can get the area of sexual discipline in order , then you will be able to get all other areas in order,” Kabelo recalls. That was the moment he decided he was going to begin a life of celibacy.
It’s something he fervently believes in: if you can keep your sexual urges under control, nothing will conquer you.
For this 30-year-old entrepreneur, celibacy has given him clarity that has compelled him to make better choices that have advanced his life.“It gave me the chance to totally focus on my entrepreneurial ventures without any distractions. I’m preserving my seed for the right woman.”
In a TikTok video he recorded, he elaborates, “I respect my genes, I respect my lineage, I respect my bloodline. I want that woman to carry those genes, that is how much I want my kids to be blessed. I want them to be born in the confines of marriage. As I said, I wanted to preselect the person that is going to carry my kids before.”Kabelo believes this journey has sharpened his sense of purpose. He has also become known on social media for sharing relationship advice while also dismantling relational misconceptions and breaking down some of the most talked about phrases such as being a “high-value man.”
What is such a man, you may ask? It is man who is governed by principles, clear about his purpose and is committed to being a better version of himself in all areas of his life. And, yes, Kabelo considers himself to be just such a man. Even though he is celibate, he does date, but is picky about who he dates.
“I’ve only dated people who are also on the same journey because it would have never worked out if it were otherwise. I’m looking for a Christian woman who embraces the same values. She should carry herself modestly and be very sober-minded. She should have a high moral compass, understanding that whatever she does will affect me. I have built for a long time. I wouldn’t want anyone to destroy that.”
Kabelo, who openly shares his journey on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube, has found that women are much more likely to embrace celibacy than men.“We [men] have been taught that we should live anyhow and we don’t need to be sexually disciplined,” he reflects. But with women, it has been quite the opposite, he adds, saying that on his social media platform, they share their journeys of celibacy too while others express how inspired they are by him.
Not the men so much. But for this 30-year-old entrepreneur, celibacy has given him clarity that has helped him make better choices that have helped his personal self-development.“Celibacy gave me the chance to totally focus on my entrepreneurial ventures without any distractions,” shares Kabelo, emphasising that he can live free of the stress that sometimes comes with being sexually active, including pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted Infection scares.
Celibacy is not an easy journey, Kabelo admits. It requires a lot of discipline and air-tight boundaries.“Be patient with yourself,” he urges anyone thinking of embarking on the same journey,“It’s a process,” the 30-year-old emphasises. When you fall, don’t beat yourself up. I fell a couple of times too. But if you are not convinced enough and if you don’t want it from the depth of your heart, it will not happen; it starts with you wanting it. You must also make radical decisions because if you are half-hearted about it, it won’t happen. For example, I had to let go of the relationship I was in, when I decided to take this step.”
So far he has no regrets. (source: www.snl24.com/Drum)
Online Reporter