Adultery: The oldest vice

Tendai Chara
Mr Geoffrery Wanaka (37) of Tsikwa Village under Chief Seke will never forget the sad events of September 17, 2016. On this fateful day, Mr Wanaka lost his brother in a freak work-related accident. As if the loss of his brother was not bad enough, he also stumbled upon his wife, Ms Faith Huchu (30), in bed with another man.

Mr Wanaka’s efforts to divorce her hit a brick wall after his in-laws demanded that he pay lobola first before they take their daughter back. In an unusual twist of events, both his wife and the in-laws justified the adultery, insisting that Wanaka’s actions encouraged his wife to cheat on him.

When The Sunday Mail Extra caught up with Ms Huchu, she was unapologetic and insisted that her husband’s deeds “forced” her to cheat on him on numerous occasions.

“His actions forced me to cheat on him. He neglects the child that I had before I met him. I had no choice but to find men who could take care of my child,” she said. Her father, Mr Godfrey Moyo, joined her daughter in the blame game.

“My son-in-law is to blame for all this. He must put his house in order. I am not too sure if he has been satisfying her in bed. What I know for sure is that he is not taking care of the child that she had with another man,” Mr Moyo said. Mr Moyo, however, elected to be mum when asked if he would allow his wife to cheat on him for the same reasons.

Although there are no official statistics that show the extent of adultery in Zimbabwe, the number of cases that are being brought before the courts involving adultery seem to be on the increase.

Basing on the number of maintenance cases stemming from adulterous relationships, it seems adultery has become one of society’s most prevalent vices. In most of the divorce cases, adultery has often been cited as the reason for the irretrievable breakdown of marriages.

People from diverse backgrounds condemn this huge and growing problem. Although the majority of the people that were interviewed spoke against adultery, some tried to justify it. Some blame social media for the vice.

But is adultery justifiable?

Pastor Felix Njini, the education director in the Seventh Day Adventist Church, Zimbabwe Union Conference, attributed adultery to a number of reasons.

“This is a sign of the times, the times that were written about in the Bible. People now lack moral consciousness. They are now like animals who cannot separate right from wrong,” he said.

According to Pastor Njini, the current harsh economic climate is fuelling adultery. He said adultery, one of the oldest grounds for divorce, must never be justified.

He said Zimbabweans must find solace in the fact that in terms of morals values, we are better than other countries, especially those from the West.

“Comparatively we are better than most countries. In the Western world cases of homosexuality, bestiality and same-sex marriages, among others, are rampant. In Zimbabwe, at least we still uphold family values,” he said.

Traditional healer Mbuya Chinhoyi (Juliet Matika) said most men drive their partners into adultery because they are either weak in bed or do not provide for their families.

“The biggest driver of adultery in my view is the lack of sexual gratification,” Mbuya Chinhoyi said. She said of the 50 people who visit her seeking her services, 30 will be seeking help to improve performance in bed. Although she condemned adultery, she challenged men to “perform their duties”.

“Adultery can never be justified. However, men must satisfy their wives in bed. If her man does not satisfy her, who do they think will satisfy the women? A boyfriend will then come into the picture,” she said.

Mbuya Chinhoyi added, “Real men occasionally drink traditional herbs which make them super heroes in bed. If a woman is satisfied, she rarely strays from her matrimonial bed. Some men cannot feed their wives and cannot also satisfy them in bed, resulting in them straying.”

An online study indicated that unhappy women have more chances of straying. Mbuya Chinhoyi said traditionally, it was a common practice for a close relative, especially a young brother, to be given the task of fulfilling the sexual desires of his brother’s wife in the event that the brother will not be capable of doing so.

She defended the practice, saying it curbed adultery. Social media has also been blamed for both fuelling and exposing adulterous relationships. Experts say the Internet, through dating websites and social media, is making it easier for people to meet and start sexual relationships faster than they would otherwise do.

Social media platforms can also allow old flames to reconnect.

According to a report by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, social media platform Facebook is mentioned in one third of divorce cases in the United States. The divorcees make reference to online relationships.

Pastor Njini said adultery has always been prevalent but people with desires to cheat are now finding it easier to do so with the help of social media and smartphones.

“It would be grossly unfair to solely blame social media for adultery. However, social media can facilitate adultery. Technology has only made it possible for more online dating and rekindling old flames. It creates a platform for those who want to cheat,” he said.

In Zimbabwe, adultery is not a criminal offence although aggrieved parties can sue for damages through the civil courts.

Dismissing a constitutional application by a Harare woman who was contesting a suit against a third party over the breakdown of a marriage, Justice Hlekani Mwayera said in Zimbabwean policy and values, adultery remains wrong.

Ms Lorraine Matione wanted adultery to be abolished, saying it violates the third party’s rights to privacy and equality before the law.

Many people have filed lawsuits claiming compensation for adultery.

In 2015, a Bulawayo woman filed a lawsuit against her husband’s “small house” demanding close to $10 000 as compensation for adultery.

Mrs Samukeliso Nare nee Msipa, of Mpopoma, approached the Bulawayo Civil Court and filed summons against Ms Rinah Chitanga, accusing her of snatching her husband, Mr Edwin Nare, whom she has been married to for 10 years under Chapter 5:11 of the Marriages Act.

In South Africa, adultery is no longer part of the law and a spouse cannot sue for damages.