Moffat Mungazi
Dear Tete Joyie:
My boyfriend has a bad breath, and sometimes I cannot stand being close to him!
How do I speak to him about this without hurting his feelings?
I care for him very much, and I would not want to destroy our relationship.
Please Help.
Tete Joyie Says:
I think you will be doing your boyfriend a big favour by telling him that he has a bad breath.
It will not be an easy thing. Although he may be hurt or angry at first, he will be pleased you have told him.
The thing about bad breath is the person is unlikely to notice the problem himself.
It usually takes someone else to tell him, and that is often left to the person closest to him, like you.
Bad breath, known as halitosis, can be caused by several things.
If his breath is constantly bad, then it is more likely to do with his teeth or mouth.
In this case, it is advised that he goes to the dentist to get things checked out.
If you don’t tell your boyfriend, then his breath will jeopardise your relationship anyway because obviously you will find it difficult to be physically intimate with him.
Sometimes it is easier to tell someone in a joking way, and not to make too big an issue out of it.
If that does not feel right, then say something like ‘I hope you won’t mind me saying this, but I have noticed recently that your breath seems a bit too strong.
I am wondering if you have a bad tooth or something.
Perhaps you have to go get it checked out.
Only say it in a way that you feel its better for both of you.
It is always very hard telling someone close to us about an intimate personal problem, but after all, that is what partners are for.
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Rare to find a virgin at school
Dear Tete Joyie:
I am an 18-year-old girl, and I have never had a boyfriend.
All my friends have been dating since primary school, and it is rare to find a virgin in my high school.
I am really scared that I will be the only one who has never even had her first kiss.
There is this boy I really like in one of my classes, but I am not sure how to get him to talk to me.
I am so hopeless. Should I just give up?
Tete Joyie Says:
You don’t sound hopeless to me, and you definitely should not give up.
In fact, you sound a lot more honest than most girls of your age.
Do not believe everything that you hear about everyone having sex because it is simply not true.
I have worked with a lot of girls your age, and I can assure you that there are quite a lot of virgins around, and a lot of girls who have never had a boyfriend.
You have something to be proud of because at least you are not just seeping with anyone just to be able to boast about it to the others.
Sadly, that is what a lot of girls are doing, because they do not want to feel left out.
Social media puts far more pressure on young people to grow up quickly and have sex before they are mature enough to understand what a loving relationship really means.
With regard to the boy you like, someone has got to make the first move.
Try to have confidence in who you are and what feels right for you.
Don’t be persuaded to do anything that does not feel right just so that you will be like other people.
You say that you are worried that you won’t know what to do.
There has to be a first time for everyone.
When you meet someone who you are really attracted to, the feelings and emotions will lead the way.
It will happen for you when the time is right. There is no need to hurry! You have all the time in the world.
If you are looking for advice on the tricky situation that you find yourself in, WhatsApp 0716069196, and Tete Joyie will assist you in solving the problem. Remember, all those who write in remain anonymous.
Online Reporter