adminskimpy outfit in the process. Her blouse also got torn.
One of her high-heeled shoes flew about a yard from the position she landed on while her oily hair was soiled.
One earring was never to be found while the other pierced her.
Angie, as she is affectionately known, took an alcohol-induced nap during which she groaned and sweated profusely before picking herself up and starting all over again.
She resembled a cornered wizard with vomit spewing from her mouth and flies hovering round her the way they frequent disused or filthy toilets.
Neighbours openly rebuked her while children giggled at the sight of a half-dressed adult behaving nonsensically on a mid summer afternoon.
“She’s lucky she is not mine. I could have divorced her right away. How can a married woman walk bare-breasted in front of all these children? This is just nonsense. If her lease expires, I will influence the landlord not to renew it,” an elderly man could be heard saying.
In one of Angie’s futile attempts to go up the stairs, her red handbag had flung open, exposing the contents – coins, make-up kit, lip-gloss and tissue paper.
“How does she get so reckless and the husband keeps quiet? I am sure he is dabbling in muti. He must be enjoying hidden benefits here. Such women however are so lucky to get married. Mapenzi ndiwo anoroorwa,” women said, making sure they did not draw close.
“Akakarodyiswa chete. Kupiwa nefoshoro.”
It took a concerned neighbour to grab her tightly by the waist while she balanced her shoulders on his neck to reach her apartment.
Her embarrassed husband, who was inside opened the door, took his baggage and closed the door, putting an end to the drama that had enthralled residents of the flat all afternoon.
Weird as this sounds, this is the shame some men whose spouses drink beer are having to put up with day and night.
The guys are going through severe mental torture.
They wish they had not made the choices they made because everything is not working out the way they thought it would.
It can be worse during month ends, when the wife’s drinking pals have more disposable income.
There are countless men out there who have been woken up in the dead of the night to open the door for the lady of the house reeking booze in the comfort of other men.
Others are forced to offer the male escorts accommodation for the night and dash off to work the next day, leaving the stranger at home.
Scores of men have been phoned by police to visit police stations to pay fines for their wives who would have been arrested brawling over a male companion at the bar.
Yours truly knows of a bloke who was woken up to identify his wife who had died in an accident with masculine characters of the male species.
There is a good number of men that has also reached for the gun cabinet to scare off predators looking for their long-married wives on first-name basis.
Some of the unwelcome visitors end up disclosing: “We were together last night and she forgot her cellphone in my car. We had such a nice time; the only problem is that she gets aled so fast.”
My foot! That should never happen to me. Not in my lifetime. I am just scared of avenging spirits but there someone will land in the grave.
Gentle reader, men with spouses who frequent nightclubs alone have long and sad tales to tell.
These men are sometimes just pummeled by strangers and told to “tell your wife to behave next time”.
If your wife drinks and goes clubbing alone, you risk having an empty beer bottle smashed on your face by some lankies dreading competition.
You can even be beaten to a pulp for “attempting to disturb our girlfriend”.
Not all women who drink beer are a problem and not all of them are prostitutes. But there are a few proverbial rotten apples on a mission to infect others.
Most of those females who drink are, to quote playwright William Shakespeare: ” . . . laden with frailties that have shamed their sex since creation”.
Husbands with spouses who take the wise waters count themselves lucky when she comes home stone drunk, because when she is a bit conscious, the violence is unbearable.
Some have scars to show for this.
A visit to the hospital will show men nursing wounds inflicted on them by their drunk wives. Police stations also handle such cases, while in the communities, such stories are awash.
Marriage can be so sweet and enriching, but not when the queen of the house drinks. And does so alone with strangers for that matter.
Gentle reader, this is not to say men are perfect.
“A woman who abuses alcohol is not good at all. Such women can squander the children’s school fees on booze and proceed to sell domestic appliances just to drink.
“There are certain women who when they are not drunk, they feel the world is not going round. These are the kind of women, who sell their clothes for a drink,” said a Mbare widow who identified herself as Gogo Mutasa. She said one of her sons was once married to a woman like that.
“To rescue him from that situation, we facilitated divorce. She would not cook for the husband. Half the time he would come to eat here and ask for assistance to locate her,” the aged vendor said.
Her former daughter-in-law, she said, was always in the company of men and only God knows whether they were mere drinking partners.
“She was quite a handful. She would associate with men of various shops and sizes and go around with them seeking bottle stores with cold lagers. It was rare to find her at home.”
Gentle reader, there are countless men who are spending sleepless nights owing to the behaviour of their spouses.
These are men who have now become used to having male adults knocking on their doors seeking to have a word with their wives.
Some of the men actually see these husbands as problems because they limit the time they see their female drinking partners.
But one woman swept to the defence of her kind.
She said she was led into alcohol abuse by an abusive husband.
“I had no choice. He leaves Fridays and comes back Mondays. If you dared ask, it was asking for a beating. This is when I ended up seeing it wise to flow with the wind. If he sees nothing bad in drinking and failing to come back home, he should not feel challenged when I do it. It takes two to tango,” said the woman who preferred anonymity.
Whether or not people drink in marriages is a matter of choice, but the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages.
Online Reporter