Online Reporter
Theseus Mauruki Shambare
“TILL death do us part.”
For many couples, these words are a promise of commitment and a vow to stand together through joy and hardship.
But what happens when a marriage begins to show signs of distress, help is sought and concerns are shared with friends, relatives or religious leaders, yet conflict continues to escalate?
This is a question troubling many today.
It appears fatal violence has, of late, become a grim solution to perennial marital challenges, with an increasing number of cases serving as a testament.
It is no longer unusual to come across headlines of couples who have killed each other in suspected domestic violence cases.
Tragedies and warning signs ignored
Just recently, the nation woke up to the shocking news of the gruesome murder of Martin Muduva at the hands of his wife Lyliosa Chirara who subsequently committed suicide at their Dzivarasekwa Extension home.
Chirara, a nurse, reportedly struck her husband three times with an axe before taking her own life by consuming rat poison due to emotional distress.
Muduva, a commissioner with the Zimbabwe Human Rights Commission and lecturer at Midlands State University, was slain after allegedly marrying a second wife in secret under customary law.
The secret union came to light when Chirara saw status updates of the traditional ceremony on her husband’s phone, triggering a tragic sequence of events.
A few days later, the deaths of Nyasha Mhungu (35) and his wife Olga Muzhingi (30), whose bodies were discovered in their Glen View bedroom, were reported.
Police spokesperson Commissioner Paul Nyathi said the deaths followed a marital dispute.
However, the circumstances surrounding the couple’s final days point to a deeper concern: what happens when a troubled relationship has already begun signalling that something is wrong?
“This came as a result of a marital dispute which the couple was having and we have it on good authority that they had gone for counselling with their pastor and the man had also engaged his friend and highlighted his problems, culminating in what later on turned to be fatal,” Commissioner Nyathi said.
He added that some of these marital problems stem from the misuse, abuse and use of social media, as well as suspicions of infidelity.
The issue now hinges on whether warning signs are being recognised early enough and if families, communities and support systems are there to intervene before an argument becomes violent.
Veteran communicator and philanthropist Dr Rebecca Chisamba, popularly known as Mai Chisamba, also blames modern technology.
Social media, facilitated by electronic gadgets like phones and computers, allow WhatsApp messages and online interactions to become sources of suspicion and confrontation.
“Our phones have become our ‘mobile devils’. We seem to be more loyal to our phones than to our companionship,” she said.
“Today, couples have become roommates. They are together just to pay bills and attend to other responsibilities but love no longer exists.
“Why do we have an Act that governs partners’ privacy on phones when we are supposed to be one flesh? We now need a factory reset of our social fabric.”
She also pushed back against misconceptions surrounding polygamy.
“I hear people saying that polygamy was good and accepted long ago. But I say to you those are lies. Haven’t you heard about the many struggles that have been created by polygamy? Polygamy was a compromise by women who had no option to leave,” argued Dr Chisamba.
She added that the practice was never genuinely enjoyed by women.
Reflecting on how society handles marital crises, Dr Chisamba explained how broken family ties have complicated issues.
“I would not say women have suddenly started being unfaithful. These things existed even in the past, but society handled them differently. There were family structures that would intervene.
“If a woman had a problem in her marriage, she could speak to her tete (aunty), her mother or another trusted elder. The same applied to men,” she explained.
In the past, she said, many matters were resolved quietly within the family circle to preserve the union and protect the children.
“Keeping a secret did not automatically mean a marriage was healthy, as some women suffered in silence due to economic dependence or a lack of alternatives.
“What has changed is that we have lost some of those structures of communication and mediation, while at the same time introducing new pressures through technology.”
She reiterated that both man and woman cheat.
“The bigger problem is that we are losing companionship, communication, respect and the ability to resolve disagreements before they become destructive. We need to go back to talking to each other, but we also need to rebuild the systems that help couples when talking between themselves is no longer enough.”
Echoing these insights, Chief Msampakaruma, born Muchaneta Chacharika, shared a similar perspective.
“Traditionally, when a husband and wife had problems, the matter was first taken to the family. Your tetes, uncles and elders had an important role in bringing the two together and helping them resolve their differences,” he explained.
He acknowledged that while infidelity and children born outside of marriage occurred in the past, those matters were handled quietly to protect the family, shield the children and restore peace.
At the same time, he conceded that the past was not without flaws, as some individuals suffered in silence due.
“What we need today is to restore that culture of dialogue and mediation while also making sure that serious cases of abuse are reported and dealt with before they become tragedies. Infidelity may cause conflict, but it should never be an excuse for violence,” Chief Msampakaruma said.
The escalation pathway and mental health
Forensic psychiatrist Dr Elena Poskochinova said domestic violence should be treated as a potential escalation pathway rather than waiting for the most serious offence to occur.
She noted that victims can experience violence for prolonged periods before cases progress from assault to attempted murder and eventually murder.
“We need prevention of these situations, as some people actually need treatment for the correction of their mental, substance abuse and personality disorders,” she said.
“More murders are committed in domestic violence, so one call of domestic violence to the police is enough for intervention through counselling and evaluation by a psychiatrist of the perpetrator.”
Across several recent cases, allegations of infidelity have featured prominently.
Murewa-based Robert Tashinga (50) allegedly attacked his wife with an axe following allegations of infidelity.
In Kariba, Emmanuel Mpofu faces attempted murder charges after allegedly attacking his wife over similar issues.
In Shamva, police reported that artisanal miner Leonard Padzikamambo Mubaira (41) allegedly murdered his pregnant wife, Everjoy Amos (32), after accusing her of having an affair.
In Hatfield, Stephen Sarurai (30) was arrested after allegedly strangling his wife, Zvikomborero Tari (26), to death with a shoelace following a dispute linked to infidelity.
Dr Elina Chimbindi, a sociologist, said: “Infidelity is not a new phenomenon, and we cannot conclude that women are suddenly becoming more unfaithful. What has changed is the social environment. Economic pressures, changing gender roles, poor communication, dissatisfaction in relationships and social media can all contribute to marital conflict.”
Dr Chimbindi said while family elders, particularly paternal aunts, historically mediated disputes between couples, those support systems have significantly weakened.
“We should, therefore, look beyond infidelity itself. It may trigger a dispute, but domestic violence is influenced by wider relationship, social and economic factors, and cannot be justified by an affair.”
Societal pressures
For Springs of Life Zimbabwe (SLZ), a sex-worker-led organisation, the discussion also raises questions about how society understands marriage, male sexuality and transactional sex.
“People sometimes do not want to accept that men can be married and still engage in extramarital sex.
“That reality exists, whether we like it or not,” said SLZ programmes coordinator Precious Msindo.
She explained that sex workers are often portrayed as housebreakers when, in some cases, they are simply providing a service to consenting adults.
Msindo reckons these are some of the reasons that lead to collapse of marriages and, in worst instances, domestic violence or murder cases.
When help-seeking fails
The Mhungu and Muzhingi case demonstrates another reality: people do seek help.
They may tell a friend, approach a pastor or alert relatives.
However, informal intervention does not always translate into an effective safety response.
Pastor Prime Kufa, speaking during the United Family International Church’s second Men’s Conference, “Forging Real Men”, noted that men need more platforms to discuss challenges affecting them, including gender-based violence.
“Firstly, it is important to note that women gather at almost all levels; they gather. And what has been lacking on the men’s part is that we do not gather as much as we should,” Pastor Kufa said.
He urged men to control their emotions and avoid reacting while angry, noting that taking at least 10 seconds to pause before reacting can do the trick.
Hidden victims
For children caught up in violent relationships, the consequences do not end with the funeral.
Shamwari Yemwanasikana director Ekenia Chifamba said children affected by intimate-partner killings face severe trauma, orphanhood, neglect, stigma and unstable caregiving arrangements.
“Children are not just witnesses to these tragedies. They are victims, too,” noted Chifamba.
She emphasised the need for long-term psychosocial support and stable environments, noting that the sudden loss of both parents or the removal of an alleged perpetrator leaves a massive vacuum in care and financial support.
United Nations Women data shows that 44 percent of ever-partnered Zimbabwean women have experienced physical or sexual partner violence during their lifetime.
The re-operationalisation of Zimbabwe’s Anti-Domestic Violence Council has renewed attention to prevention and coordination.
Permanent Secretary in the Ministry of Justice, Legal and Parliamentary Affairs Vimbai Nyemba stated that the 12-member council will keep domestic violence
under review, raise awareness, promote safe houses and strengthen referrals and coordination.
“This scourge is not merely a legal issue, but a profound social challenge that undermines the fabric of families and communities. It demands a coordinated, multi-sectoral response,” she said.
Organisations like Women and Law in Southern Africa Zimbabwe stress that as cases continue to rise, these mechanisms must be fully operational and adequately resourced.
Coordination is vital because domestic violence involves many sectors: a friend hears the first disclosure, a pastor receives a request for help, a police officer takes a complaint, a health worker treats an injury, a counsellor hears the history and a court eventually deals with the offence.
The ultimate challenge is connecting those points before the situation becomes fatal.
These recent cases should not be viewed only through the final act of violence.
Behind every reported killing is a relationship that existed before the police tape and funeral, filled with arguments, allegations of infidelity, children and people who knew something was wrong.
The crucial question is whether those warning signs can become opportunities for intervention rather than memories recalled after tragedy, ensuring the promise to remain together “till death do us part” is never a prediction of how a marriage ends.
