Online Reporter
Laina Makuzha
LOVE by DESIGN
Zimbabwe’s marital landscape is facing a significant challenge, and we can all do better. With recent reports painting a gloomy picture of 500 cases in just a few months this year, the statistics are highlighting the growing strain on marriages.
As we discuss this issue, it is clear that the causes are multifaceted. Infidelity, financial disputes, communication breakdown, and gender-based violence are among the leading factors contributing to marital breakdown. The shift in societal norms, economic pressures, and changing gender dynamics also play a significant role.
I have often wondered if there might also be need to revisit the way some couples connect and reach the conclusion to marry. Hear me out. With the erosion of traditional family support systems and the rise of individualism, couples are increasingly navigating marriage without the guidance and support they once had. Unwarranted pressure to marry, often fuelled by societal expectations or family desires, can also lead couples to rush into unions without being truly ready, vamwe vanenge vasina kumbonzwisisa what marriage actually entails. I hear some really sad stories of how some spouses treat their “loved ones” even soon after tying the knot.
The Bible teaches us that marriage is a sacred institution, and it is essential to approach it with care and commitment. Rather than ruling out marriage, we should focus on building stronger, more resilient relationships.
I picked these few factors among many, contributing to divorce that couples can look out for:
1. Financial stress: Disagreements about money can be overwhelming. Couples can survive by creating a joint budget, communicating openly about finances, and finding common goals.
2. Communication breakdown: When talks turn into arguments, it is a sign to reevaluate how you are communicating. Practice active listening and make time for meaningful conversations.
3. Trust issues: Rebuilding trust takes effort from both partners. Be transparent, follow through on commitments, and work on forgiveness.
4. Intimacy struggles: Physical and emotional connection are vital. Schedule regular date nights, prioritise quality time and address underlying issues.
5. External pressures: Family, friends, or social media can add stress. Set boundaries, present a united front, and focus on your relationship.
6. Lifestyle changes: Adjusting to new roles or circumstances can strain a marriage. Communicate openly, be patient and adapt together.
7. Long Distance: For some, absence makes the heart grow fonder, while for some out of sight out of mind. So couples have to handle long distance, learn all there is about keeping your love fresh and thriving despite long distance.
So, how do you fight for your marriage once you have established safety first, eg that it is not a physically harmful environment or toxic union and you have decided to give marriage a chance?
Choose to believe in your partner: Do not let gossip or doubts define your relationship. Focus on the love and commitment you share.
Pray together, work on it together: Marriage is a team effort. Support each other — tackle challenges as a united front.
The tough times will not last forever but the love and commitment you build will.
Prioritise quality time: Regularly schedule meaningful interactions, and make the most of them.
Forgive and move forward: Holding grudges can create toxic environments. Learn to forgive and focus on moving forward.
Seek help when needed: Do not be afraid to seek compelling case or therapy. It is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Share your thoughts: What challenges have you faced in your marriage, and how did you overcome them? Let us support each other in building unbreakable bonds.
If you are reading this and are struggling in your marriage, know that you are not alone. Your pain, your struggles and your fears are seen and heard. In the midst of uncertainty, remember that God is with you, guiding you through the storm.
Take a deep breath and whisper to yourself: “I am loved, I am valued and I am not alone.”
Pray:
“Dear Heavenly Father, I come to you with a humble heart, in the name of Jesus Christ, seeking guidance and strength. If my marriage is worth fighting for, give me the wisdom, patience and love to navigate these challenges. Help me to see my partner through your eyes, and to love with your love. If, however, it is time to let go, grant me the courage and peace to move forward, knowing that your plans for me are greater than I can imagine. I am loved, I am strong and I am not alone. Amen.”
May this prayer bring comfort, hope, and peace to those who need it most .
What do you see as the main causes of the disturbing divorce cases in Zim and in your view, how can we promote the building of more marriages that honour God?
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