adminZachary Aldwin Milkshake in the boardroom
Let me set the scene: I was spearheading a news site aggregator and I had brought all the players to the table. It was the leanest start-up I’d done and we were creating value fast. We needed US$5 000 more and an investor that might be able to scale with us. We found him and the deal was done, signed and packaged.
Two days later my phone rang.
“Hey I know I agreed to get 20 percent, but I want 50 percent.” In shock I blurted out: “That wasn’t the deal.”
He said: “You lack the influence to be challenging my desire and I’m pretty powerful, so the deal has changed.”
We tried to fight back but lost all traction. Now employees’ paychecks were on the line. I had spent 3 months on this news aggregator and at this point I had to walk away.
There were too many salaries on the line and too much bad blood in the shareholding structure. It was too early to get into a legal battle and the person I’d be fighting just wasn’t worth it (I was familiar with that road).
I realised then that there is no amount of money on earth that’s worth having to work with someone that you hate.
A brilliant idea gone down the drain, another income stream gone up in smoke due to no fault of mine.
Life is too short to hold a grudge, but at the time I was mad – really mad and disappointed. It was unfair.
I mapped out all the reasons that I was disappointed. I had his faults noted down to a tee. I was an expert on his mistakes and could write an entire book about how he’ll never be happy because of his conduct, or why his wife was leaving him (which she was), and why I didn’t like his style of dress, but that’s a time waster.
Noting everyone else’s faults wastes time for a number of reasons. Most people don’t care when you point them out.
If I called out people every time I saw a fault in them, and sat them down to explain why in 5 years from now their decision to change the goal posts made life terrible for those around them, I’d be even more miserable to be around than I already am.
No one likes the guy who tattles. You probably have similar faults of your own, you just hide them better.
Go on, think of the time someone criticised you and you did not care an iota because their opinion just did not matter. See how little along the path of life it gets you.
Fault finding is a full-time job with no pay and no long term benefits. Lou Tice from The Pacific Institute described it as being Captain of The World; trying to solve everyone else’s problems and deviancy when it is just not your problem to solve.
Probably the best reason: more than likely, the fault-finder will never speak to the person they are finding faults with. They’ll just tell other people and make themselves look like gossip dumpers. So when people note the faults of someone else, they’re actually destroying their reputation.
No one really likes the absolute pedantic for the rules, watch any soccer match where the referee fails to stick to the “advantage” principle but blows the whistle immediately for any minor infringement.
The crowd, players and coaches will come out with guns blazing and the only thing that grows as the booing echo around the stadium at yet another whistle blow is his inflated sense of self-righteousness.
Fault noting works only when you’re willing to talk to someone about it – where you actually want them to succeed. Where their success matters so much for you to stay silent. When they like you or give 2 cents about your opinion, which means they may listen and care enough to change. Remember reciprocity; when you’re ready to take the knock of someone else’s thoughts on you feel free to engage.
Don’t waste time noting down the faults of people that you never intend to talk to, or that won’t hear you even if you did. Use that part of your brain and time to create something worthwhile. It’s hard because you try to convince yourself that they’re the ultimate bad guy and you were the martyr.
The reality is no one cares. In the words of James Dye “People who are out to find fault seldom find anything else.
“It is a waste of time, no matter how much you find fault, it is not going to change anything. It’s better to find a remedy.”
E-mail:[email protected]
Online Reporter