Online Reporter
Laina Makuzha
LOVE by DESIGN
A question came through on a topic I recall addressing in some past editions, but it remains vital nonetheless. How can you still believe in love or find it in a world so full of fleeting relationships, flaky individuals, and fast-paced relationships?’
I say that is a fair question, which will inform our discussion this week.
In the ever-changing world of relationships and marriage, it is easy to get caught up in the opinions of others. Naysayers might tell you that love is dead, that relationships are too hard, or that you will never find “the one.”
But here is my view: love is alive and well, and as I often say, it is waiting for you to find it or it will find you!
The key is to stay focused on your goals and believe in the power of love. Do not let others define what love should look like for you.
Too many times, I have heard someone say, just because they are surrounded by people whose marriages leave a lot to be desired, they do not see the point of getting married or being in love at all.
And I know it is a stark reality that sometimes we find ourselves surrounded by family members, friends, even churchmates whose marriages may not portray the best examples of a loving union.
But rather than let this define what you know love to be, I propose that you work on creating your own relationship goals and work towards making them a reality.
Believe in yourself first.
Yes, we have heard this used so many times in life coaching and personal development workshops and more. Believe it or not, this applies squarely to relationships and marriage.
Before you can attract a healthy relationship, you need to show up for yourself. This means taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
Here are a few suggestions to get started:
Prioritise hygiene: Make sure you are taking care of your personal hygiene, including the very basics of showering regularly, brushing your teeth, and wearing clean clothes. When you feel clean, it contributes to feeling good about yourself.
Work on health and fitness: Regular exercise and a balanced diet can boost your mood and energy levels, making you more attractive to others.
Positive people are pleasant to be around, and they are not always bickering and hating everything.
Practice self-care: Take time for activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul, whatever that looks like for you.
What you say to yourself and what you believe about yourself matter. It shapes how you carry yourself.
If you constantly tell yourself you’re unworthy, unattractive, or unlucky in love, you will unconsciously project that energy. If you are constantly telling yourself that you are not good enough or that you will never find love, you are likely to attract relationships that reinforce those beliefs.
Instead, focus on building your self-esteem and confidence and believe that you deserve true love. You could affirm:
“I am worthy of love.”
“I am becoming the best version of myself.”
“The right person will value me for who I am.”
Your beliefs about yourself influence how others perceive you. Confidence is magnetic; self‑doubt repels.
For the single man
It is essential to focus on personal excellence. Here are a few tips to consider:
Develop your passions: Pursue activities and hobbies that bring you joy and fulfilment.
Work on your communication skills: Learn how to listen actively and express yourself effectively.
Take care of your physical health: Regular exercise and a balanced diet can boost your energy and confidence.
For the single woman
Prioritise your own growth and development. Try these:
Focus on your career: Develop your skills and pursue opportunities that align with your passions.
Practice self-love: Take time to nurture your mind, body, and soul.
Set boundaries: Learn to say no where you need to, and prioritise your own needs.
Then when love finds you . . .
When love does find you, recognise the blessing that it is. The person who lands you must know they are blessed, not because of your perfection, but because of your uniqueness and the love you share.
Do not overthink it; love can happen in the most unexpected instances. Sometimes, it is the people we least expect who end up being our perfect match.
Here is a thought that might seem insignificant to some: Invest in a mirror. You heard right. Make it even a full-length if possible. This is not about vanity; do not get me wrong. It is about catching a glimpse of your appearance as others see you. In addition to all the important unseen things to put into consideration.
When was the last time you just checked yourself before leaving home: kungoti ‘how do I look’? eg shirt yakagara mushe here on my body, is the jacket hanging right, collar bhoo here, kana pane tie, how is it looking . . . .
Desist from kungoti chero zvazvaita and expect to give the impression of someone who loves him/herself. Be the first to see and commend yourself when you look good, chakanaka chakanaka! When you take care of your physical appearance, as much as the other areas of life, you are more likely to feel confident and self-assured and ready to give your best to your work and community.
And when married . . .
Do not drop the ball once hitched; continue working on yourself and your relationship. Reach out if in need of more tips.
So as you go about your daily life, remember that how you represent yourself matters. Whether you are at work, church, or other activities, make sure you are showing up with intention and purpose.
I would love to hear your thoughts, input, or questions.
Whatsapp/SMS:+263719102572/Email: lainanaledimakuzha@ gmail.com
Online Reporter