leeroy
THE Dzivarasekwa tragedy is one of those deeply painful incidents that should force us to stop, reflect and ask some difficult questions.
Zimbabwe Human Rights Commission commissioner Dr Martin Muduva died after being attacked with an axe at his home in Dzivarasekwa Extension by his wife.
Lyliosa Chirara, his wife, then died after ingesting poison.
Police are investigating the circumstances surrounding the deaths, and it is important that the public allows investigators to establish exactly what happened. But whatever ultimately emerges from the investigation, two lives have been lost and a family has been left to deal with unimaginable pain. The tragedy should remind us that domestic disputes can become deadly when anger, frustration and unresolved differences are allowed to reach boiling point.
There is never justification for responding to a disagreement with violence. An axe should never become an instrument of settling a marital dispute, just as taking one’s own life can never be the answer to emotional pain, disappointment or conflict. What makes such tragedies particularly painful is that there are usually many opportunities to step away from the confrontation before it reaches the point of no return.
A disagreement can be paused.
A heated conversation can be abandoned. Couples can sleep in separate rooms. Relatives can be called. Friends can intervene. Professional counsellors can be consulted.
Police can be contacted when there is a genuine threat of violence.
There is no shame in walking away from an argument.
In fact, walking away may sometimes be the most courageous decision a person can make. As Zimbabweans, we need to take domestic violence and marital conflict much more seriously.
Too often, society becomes interested only after somebody has been killed. By then, it is too late.
We need stronger awareness that emotional distress and relationship breakdowns are not matters that people should necessarily face alone.
Families, churches, communities and professional counsellors all have roles to play in helping people deal with anger, jealousy, disappointment, betrayal and other pressures before they become destructive.
At the same time, people experiencing threats or violence must be encouraged to seek help early.
Friends and relatives should not dismiss warning signs as merely “marital problems”. A person threatening violence, displaying extreme anger, possessing weapons during disputes or talking about suicide should be taken seriously.The tragedy also comes at a time when Zimbabwe is already confronting concerns about deadly violence arising from domestic disputes and seemingly ordinary disagreements.
A High Court judge recently expressed concern about fatalities resulting from domestic disputes and other conflicts that could potentially have been resolved peacefully.
That warning deserves attention.
We must teach ourselves that no argument is worth a human life.
The deaths in Dzivarasekwa should therefore not become merely another shocking headline that disappears from public memory after a few days.
They should become a painful lesson about the consequences of unchecked anger and the importance of seeking intervention before conflict turns violent.
There will be time for accountability once the facts are established.
For now, the greatest lesson is prevention. If a relationship is collapsing, seek help. If anger is becoming uncontrollable, walk away.
Online Reporter