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Tendai Rupapa in MWENEZI
REGULAR health checks and effective communication in marriages were yesterday described as key in building violence-free homes without challenges like drug abuse and teen pregnancies that are tearing apart communities today.
This came out during an interactive and educative male engagement session which attracted thousands of people in Mwenezi yesterday, thanks to the First Lady Dr Auxillia Mnangagwa, who is the brains behind the programme.
The programme seeks to enhance men’s access to health facilities, their involvement in fighting drug abuse, gender-based violence and moral decay, among a host of social challenges affecting families, communities and the nation at large.
According to statistics by health experts, there is low male involvement in health matters and this prompted Dr Mnangagwa the country’s health ambassador to intervene and address the matter.
The event was well-attended, signalling a positive response to the mother of the nation’s teachings.
In line with the country’s traditional norms and values, Amai Mnangagwa sought permission from traditional chiefs and all the men present to address them.
“Please allow me as a woman to stand before you as we discuss issues affecting our families so that we come up with an agreement. Violence in the home, drunkenness and drug abuse are on the increase. Vana baba how are you living in the homes with your wives and children. How are your relations with the children be it your sons or daughters? Are you having time with your children teaching them good morals and values? Is there love in the home nana amai? Ko imi vana mai, on your husband’s return from work, how are you welcoming him?” she asked.
The questions elicited mixed responses.
Gogo Sophie Chikumbura said even after quarrelling in the morning with her husband, she welcomes him warmly on his return.
“Even when we quarrel in the morning, when he returns I welcome him warmly, give him hot water to bath, serve food and give him his conjugal rights. This way I would have avoided domestic violence which is breaking many marriages and tearing families apart,” she said.
Similar words were said by Gogo Janet Mhitsa.
“When he comes back home after a misunderstanding, I ask for forgiveness because as women we are provocative and use sharp harsh words and men do not like it. Most of the time, it is us women at fault because of the way we talk to our husbands. This drives them away and ends up not sleeping at home,” she said.
However, a youthful woman, Mrs Sarafina Murefu, differed with others.
“If a man is naughty and sleeps away from home, I do not take this as a laughing matter. We fight, I do not entertain promiscuity. My husband is of the Shumba totem and I am a Sithole, but when matters come to this the cow will fight the lion. These men should respect us as their wives and we will do the same tovapa chinzvimbo chavo mumba,” she said, triggering laughter from the crowd.
Another woman also left the gathering in stitches when she said she is of the Chihera totem and would not entertain her husband when he returns home empty handed.
She said she would start a fight until the husband confesses as to who he was spending his money with.
Amai Mnangagwa weighed in saying that couples should resolve their differences in peace without fighting.
She urged women to be submissive all the time.
Dr Mnangagwa said fathers played a central role in moulding the direction of their households and their type of leadership was reflected by their sons and daughters who carry it on in their communities.
“Please vana baba, intervene and retain the central role that you are expected to play. Be dignified fathers who lead by example through living respectable lives that our children can emulate and show out there,” she said.
Responding to how they were relating in the homes with their wives, Mr Tanunurwa Chinangana said he always sought to iron out differences amicably with his wife.
“As a man I have things that I expect my wife to do. Mistakes are there but it is critical to sit down and discuss to iron out our differences amicably without raising voices at each other or without fighting. But these young wives of ours Amai have an appetite for good things which sometimes do not match our pockets. If you fail to provide that, there will be violence in the home. There won’t be peace at all,” he said
Mr David Masomere said he always sought to set a good example for his children.
“I want my children to appreciate the love I accord their mother so that my son also shows his wife love as he saw his father doing. I often surprise my wife with gifts, be it on her birthday, valentines or any other special day because women are like children who need to be pampered,” he said to applause.
Youthful Mr Tapiwa Maposa said women must view the fact that a man returns home everyday as a sign of love and not to abuse the privilege.
“If I find my wife in a bad mood when i return home, I won’t care because kunze uko we would have left other “flames” elsewhere but we come home because we love our wives and this means we respect them so if they abuse the privilege we go back to the beer hall,” he said.
Amai Mnangagwa showed concern over drug abuse cases.
“What have you said about drugs vana baba, where are they coming from and why are they bad. To you young boys, why are you taking drugs destroying your future?” she said.
In response, Mr Joseph Machingo said promising lives had indeed been ruined by drugs and this called for action.
“Children are ruined by nyaope, guka and mutoriro so we say no to drugs because they are destroying lives. For those who are in school and are taking drugs, this causes them not to concentrate in school or beat up teachers. Drugs drive people to do criminal activities,” he said.
Mr Tanunurwa Chinangana shared a heart-rending tale of a friend he lost due to drug abuse.
“Last week we buried a friend of mine who was killed by drugs. He had left home to stay at the base where they consumed the drugs. We therefore thank you for the awareness campaign Amai. The peddlers must be arrested and locked away for a very long time,” he said.
A teenage girl said drugs were indeed harmful as one would be sexually abused or impregnated by someone they did not know because they would be intoxicated.
“Drugs are also bad to us married women as our husbands are rendered sexually inactive when they take these drugs, forcing us to cheat. By doing so, this also causes domestic violence,” a married woman said.
The mother of the nation spoke candidly against the sale and consumption of drugs which has ripped society apart.
“There are those who are bringing in drugs and we also want to know these people who are involved in the selling of drugs. It is our duty as communities to report because there is nowhere we can end this when the drugs are everywhere,” she said.
The First Lady urged people to have constant health checks and maintain Covid-19 prevention protocols of washing hands, masking up and maintaining social distancing.
Traditional chiefs and all those gathered went home with smiles after being given food hampers by the mother of the nation.
Bulawayo-based group, Iyasa, provided edutainment on the effects of gender based violence and drug and substance abuse.
Peter Tanyanyiwa
Online Reporter