Online Reporter
Fadzayi Maposah
Correspondent
I WAS reading a social media post where one was asking for forgiveness for things that they said some time ago, actually more than a decade ago.
During that time, he says that he was in Form Two and looked at people in their 30s who were not married and wondered why they were old and still single! Looking at a 30-year-old when one is 13 can be from a different perspective given the age difference.
Then of course when you are 13 and just beginning adolescence you have so many grand plans about being an adult. I have said it before and I will say it again, growing up is over-rated! It is when you are grown up that you realise that the grass was actually greener when you were younger.
Now that the person is in their 30s and still single, he is being asked the questions that he and others of his age then would ask their relatives. Now from where he is standing, he has the answers and understands what his relatives used to go through then.
On the same post, someone shared that she needed forgiveness for having questioned why people who went to work would at times have no money, because she has days when she is broke despite being employed!
Life throws so much at people and at times because we have never experienced what people are going through, we tend to judge. Not only do we judge, but we judge harshly and the result can be a dented self-esteem on the part of those who are judged.
Now when people ask me at a personal level what I think about someone’s behaviour, I try my best to say that I do not know the full story so I cannot judge. It is actually a whole new training programme at a personal level, considering that it is easier to blurt out an opinion even when it is not requested. It is very handy to keep a water bottle nearby, when the urge to speak takes hold of you, take a few sips or even gulps. It is not possible to talk with a mouth full of water.
Each day of our lives, we are simply learning. There is no end to what we can learn. Learning simply stops the day we take our last breath, other than that, we must be prepared to learn.
The lessons are everywhere. As we walk, we learn. As we ride with others on the commuter omnibus, we are learning. The commuter omnibus is a great learning platform. That is a story for another day! Learning is simply everywhere. As long you are open to learning, it will happen, and at times you may not even be aware that you are learning.
There are so many things that can happen to even grown ups despite the many times that an individual would have done something. While experience is the best teacher, there are some lessons that are simply once off. I have shared many times how I was so afraid of menarche (starting menstruation) simply because of what I saw before I began that journey. The article was published in The Herald of May 3, 2021, headlined “The nightmares of early menstruation”. All I can say is that I got a rude awakening into the mishaps that can happen during menstruation. The journey of these articles began with sharing a nightmare!
What I have realised is that some people have mishaps because of health conditions, not because they are careless, but also because mishaps are just that. Unfortunately at times when the mishaps happen, the females who know that these mishaps can happen, look away, preferring not to be involved claiming that it is not their place to make comments. No-one ever booked for a mishap, it just happens.
Someone may just be asking where exactly does one draw the line between being supportive and minding one’s business? These days there are so many discussions about respecting people’s space. Let me ask. If a road accident occurred, would you be questioning whether you are supposed to offer support or respect boundaries? Being there to assist would be the most ideal thing to do, would it not be?
There are so many reproductive health mishaps that can occur and it is important to be supportive if you are in the space where it happens. If someone’s birth waters broke while in the commuter omnibus, what would you do? Would you start screaming and asking why they were using public transport when they knew they were close to delivery or would you do your best to be calm so that the one affected would not go into panic mode and make the situation worse?
Just thinking about mishaps and how people in the space where it happens will react can be a cause of stress. It can lead to anxiety with a serious impact on one’s health. It has been mental health awareness week from May 12 and the week ends tomorrow. There have been many activities that have been conducted at organisational level and in the community for empowerment. Empathy is important. One does not need to have period pains to empathise with the one struggling with them. Try imagining wearing their shoes so as to give them the necessary support.
On Thursday the country also commemorated International Family Day. Our roots are in families in their diversity. It is in the family that we first learn how to interact with others. Empathy is a value that should be taught within families. Practise empathy to protect mental health well-being!
