Chronicle Editor
Andile Tshuma
This past week, I decided to go through one of my favourite reads, it has become a year end routine, some sort of reflection and in a way seeking perspective.
I read We should all be feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and it got me thinking that every young girl and young boy should read this book, and every person who believes in equality of the sexes must get hold of this read. I do not mean to sound like a motivational speaker, not that I think it’s wrong, but trust me, if you are open minded, this book is sure to change your mind.
The dictionary definition of a feminist is “A person who believes in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes.” This definition is very silent on feminism being about women fighting men, or fighting patriarchy, and generally this is the essence of this piece of literature. It is not the conventional talk on feminism sees every male figure as a villain.
I’ve spent nearly a decade looking up to this black woman who wrote fascinating stories, with perfectly imperfect characters, about growing up in Africa.
You will not be the same after engagement with the piece of literature. It is available in bookshops, and also available on the android application ‘Anybooks’. I advise that you get a copy and read it, you ‘re sure to end the year differently.
While most talks of feminism denigrates men, the book acknowledges equality of the sexes and say that men can be feminists too, as feminism is not about matriarchy or women being better, but just equality of men and women.
A lot of ideas on feminism are toxic, women tend to forego the things they love, suppress their feelings and have to dorn particular hairstyles, and have a strong dislike for the male species, Adichie distances herself from that genre of feminism and calls herself a feminist who loves her lip gloss, loves to look good and does not loathe men.
In one of her TED talks she said that the word feminist was “so heavy with baggage, negative baggage. You hate men, you hate bras, you hate African culture.”
“I want to be identified as a happy African feminist who does not hate men and who likes lip gloss and who wears high heels for herself but not for men”,” she said in her talk, we should all be feminists.
It is very true, a fact rather that patriarchy still rules the world however advocacy for equality does not mean that men must be the enemy. The system of patriarchy is the enemy, however both men and women must engage to eliminate systems that oppress other people.
I think her book is a good starter pack to opening up conversations about gender in the country and in the region in general. I recommend parents to ensure that they get this book for their daughters, and their sons too.
We teach girls that they can have ambition, but not too much … to be successful, but not too successful, or they’ll threaten men, says author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. In this classic talk that started a worldwide conversation about feminism, the author asks that we begin to dream about and plan for a different, fairer world — of happier men and women who are truer to themselves.
Inspired by Nigerian history and tragedies all but forgotten by recent generations of westerners, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s novels and stories are jewels in the crown of diasporan literature.
She advised that raising a feminist didn’t mean forcing her to reject femininity: “Feminism and femininity are not mutually exclusive. It is misogynistic to suggest that they are.
“Sadly, women have learnt to be ashamed and apologetic about pursuits that are seen as traditionally female, such as fashion and make-up.”
Being a woman in a man’s world as often been about wearing the power suits, the blacks, greys the formal pants. Certain feminine clothes are not very acceptable in the corporate world but Adichie says being a powerful woman should not be about trying to be a man. Women are just as powerful even if they embrace their feminity.
If a man is getting ready for a business meeting, he doesn’t worry about looking too masculine, and therefore not being taken seriously. Adichie says in the early days of her career as a teacher, she felt pressured to wear suits that would make her look serious enough to be taken seriously, the ones that made her look feminine.
“If a woman is getting ready for a business meeting, she has to worry about looking too feminine, and what it says, and whether or not it will be taken seriously,” she writes.
In her writing, she says she found her feet and scrapped the suit, which she says was ugly anyway but made her feel more like the men, therefore more belonging, and said she was a better teacher once she was wearing what she felt comfortable in.
She says parents must teach their sons and daughters that they should all aim high and that they must not be threatened by the successes of their siblings, of either sex, or by the success of their partners and the generality of the opposite sex and dismisses the prevailing notion that powerful women can threaten a man’s ego and therefore will struggle to settle down.
“You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful but not too successful because otherwise you will threaten the man,” she writes.
One thing that can be noted is that Adichie is not saying anything new, really, but the way she packages her thoughts on gender issues and engages the reader is so new. The way she says it and brings up the issue makes it much more accessible, which makes her “extraordinarily influential.”
I would call her opinions perfect, I may differ with her on so many things, but she is one of the writers whom I feel understand the predicament of a black woman. Being oppressed on racial grounds, and because of your gender just brings double trouble and she does a pretty good job of doing it, even in her other books such as purple hibiscus and half of a yellow sun.
My parting shot is on what Adichie says should be taught to girls.
“We teach girls to move themselves into shapes to make themselves likable, to think about what other people think about them. It’s so important to teach a child, particularly a girl, that your job is not to be likeable, your job is to be your fullest self.” — @andile_tshuma
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