Coach Molly Chuma
Grooming Correspondent
The teenage years are a season of discovery. Young people are developing their identities, forming friendships and learning how they want to be seen by the world.
Alongside academic achievement and personal ambition, teenagers need social skills that help them navigate relationships with confidence.
Etiquette provides practical guidance for these everyday moments.
Etiquette is not about pretending to be perfect or following outdated rules. It is about showing consideration, communicating respectfully and understanding that our behaviour affects others.
A teenager who knows how to greet people, listen attentively, express disagreement politely and take responsibility is better prepared for school, work and adult life.
Greetings, respect and communication
Start with the basics: greetings and respect. Acknowledge people when you meet them, respond when spoken to and use courteous words such as please, thank you, excuse me and I am sorry. Greet teachers, neighbours, relatives and other adults appropriately.
Respect does not mean being afraid of adults; it means recognising another person’s dignity while also knowing how to speak up when something is wrong.
Communication matters. Avoid interrupting, shouting over others or using sarcasm to embarrass someone. Listen before responding, especially when a person has a different opinion. You can disagree without insulting anyone. If you make a mistake, apologise sincerely instead of blaming everyone else.
These habits show maturity and make it easier for people to trust you.
Grooming and awareness of the occasion
Personal grooming is another important part of etiquette. Cleanliness, neat clothing, fresh breath, cared — for hair and good posture communicate self-respect. Teenagers do not need expensive labels or the latest trends to look presentable.
Choose clothing that is clean, appropriate for the occasion and comfortable enough to allow you to participate confidently. Good grooming is not about judging people by appearance; it is about taking reasonable care of yourself.
Learn to read the room. The way you behave with friends at a relaxed gathering may differ from how you behave at a school assembly, formal dinner, place of worship or interview. Notice the setting, follow reasonable expectations and ask questions if you are unsure. Punctuality is part of this consideration.
Arriving on time shows that you value other people’s time and take commitments seriously.
Digital etiquette
Digital etiquette is essential because online behaviour has real consequences. Think before posting, commenting or forwarding a message. Do not use social media to bully, humiliate, threaten or spread rumours about others.
Avoid sharing someone’s photograph, private message or personal information without permission. A disagreement online is not an invitation to use vulgar language. Remember that a screenshot can preserve words long after you regret sending them.
Be mindful of your phone when you are with other people. Constantly scrolling during a conversation, family meal or meeting can make others feel ignored.
Put your device away when someone is speaking to you, unless you need it for a genuine reason. Ask permission before taking photos or recording people, and never assume that everything shared in a private group should be made public.
Friendship, boundaries and kindness
Friendship also requires boundaries. Do not pressure others to do things that make them uncomfortable just to prove loyalty. Respect personal space, belongings and differences. Avoid gossip and resist the temptation to join in when someone is being mocked.
If you witness bullying, seek help from a trusted adult and support the person being targeted where it is safe to do so. Kindness is not weakness; it takes courage to do what is right.
Responsibility at home and school
At home, etiquette means contributing rather than expecting everything to be done for you. Greet family members, help with reasonable household responsibilities, respect shared spaces and communicate plans clearly.
At school, follow instructions, care for school property and treat classmates, teachers and support staff courteously. How you treat people who cannot offer you popularity or advantage says much about your character.
Teenagers should also learn to receive correction. Feedback can feel uncomfortable, but it can help you grow when it is fair and constructive. Listen, ask questions and consider what you can improve. You do not have to accept disrespect or harmful treatment, but you can set boundaries calmly and seek support when necessary.
Build the habit
The goal is not to make teenagers afraid of making mistakes. Etiquette is a skill developed through practice. Each greeting, apology, thoughtful online comment and responsible choice builds habits that can serve you for years. Parents, schools and mentors can guide young people, but teenagers must also choose to practise these skills consistently.
Your future opportunities will depend on more than what you know. The way you treat people, manage yourself and respond under pressure can influence the doors that open for you.
Start now. Be respectful without losing your voice, confident without becoming arrogant, and stylish without needing to impress everyone. Your manners are part of your personal brand, and the character you build today will accompany you into adulthood.
Coach Molly Chuma is an author, grooming and etiquette coach, confidence mentor and leadership development trainer. She is the founder of The Luminary Institute of Leadership and Etiquette and a weekly Herald columnist. Through her work, she equips individuals, schools and organisations with practical skills in etiquette, professionalism, personal branding and confident communication. Coach Molly is passionate about making etiquette accessible, practical and relevant to everyday life./For training, coaching and speaking engagements, contact +263 771 496 175.
