Online Reporter
Coach Molly Chuma
Grooming
Events bring people together to celebrate, learn, network and create memories. Whether it is a wedding, conference, corporate function, church gathering, birthday celebration or formal dinner, how we conduct ourselves matters.
Event etiquette is not about being rigid or trying to impress people. It is about showing consideration for the host, respecting other guests and understanding the purpose of the occasion. Good event etiquette begins with the invitation. Read it carefully and pay attention to the date, time, venue, dress code and whether you are expected to bring anything.
If an invitation requests an RSVP, respond promptly. A host needs accurate numbers to plan seating, food and other arrangements. Do not assume that an invitation automatically includes additional guests or children unless this is clearly stated.
Arriving on time is one of the simplest ways to show respect. Being excessively early can also inconvenience a host who is still preparing, so aim for the time indicated.
For formal occasions, avoid arriving late unless circumstances genuinely prevent you from being punctual. If you are delayed, communicate with the organiser where appropriate instead of simply appearing without explanation.
Dress appropriately for the occasion. A dress code is guidance on how guests should present themselves and should be respected. If the invitation says black tie, cocktail, business formal or traditional attire, make an effort to understand what is expected. When uncertain, ask the host rather than guessing. Dressing appropriately demonstrates that you value the occasion and the people who organised it.
When you arrive, greet the host and acknowledge people around you. If you are being introduced to someone, make eye contact, smile and offer a clear greeting. Remember names where possible. At networking events, do not immediately ask what someone can do for you. Start with a genuine conversation and look for ways to establish a meaningful connection.
Seating arrangements should also be respected. At weddings, dinners and conferences, hosts may carefully plan where guests sit.
Avoid moving place cards or taking someone else’s assigned seat simply because another position looks more comfortable. If you have a genuine concern about your seating, speak discreetly to an organiser rather than creating a scene.
During the event, be present. Constantly checking your phone, taking calls or holding private conversations while someone is speaking can appear disrespectful. Put your phone on silent and give speakers, performers and fellow guests your attention. If you need to take an important call, excuse yourself and step outside where possible.
Photography and social media require consideration. Not everyone wants to appear online, and some events involve private or sensitive information.
Ask permission before posting photographs that prominently feature other people, especially children. Follow any instructions about photography and recording. Avoid livestreaming an event without permission. A good guest understands that not every moment needs to be shared publicly.
If food and refreshments are provided, practise moderation and patience. Wait your turn at a buffet and take reasonable portions so others can also be served.
Do not criticise the menu or complain publicly about what is available. If you have dietary restrictions, communicate them politely and in advance when possible. Gratitude is always appropriate, particularly when a host has invested time and resources into the occasion. If you receive a programme, follow it respectfully. Avoid interrupting speeches, presentations or ceremonies. During formal occasions, know when to stand, sit, applaud or remain quiet. If you are unsure, observe the host or other experienced guests. It is perfectly acceptable to learn by watching discreetly.
Good event etiquette also means knowing when to leave. Do not overstay after the event has clearly concluded, especially if the host is beginning to pack up. Before leaving, thank the host or organiser and compliment the occasion sincerely. If you enjoyed yourself, a follow-up message the next day is a thoughtful way to express appreciation.
Ultimately, being a gracious guest is about making the event easier and more enjoyable for everyone. Respect the invitation, arrive appropriately, dress suitably, communicate courteously and be mindful of the people around you. Your manners can leave a lasting impression long after the music stops and the chairs are packed away.
Events are opportunities to celebrate connect and build relationships.
Coach Molly Chuma is an author, grooming and etiquette coach, confidence mentor and leadership development trainer. She is the founder of The Luminary Institute of Leadership and Etiquette and a weekly Herald columnist. Through her work, she equips individuals, schools and organisations with practical skills in etiquette, professionalism, personal branding and confident communication. Coach Molly is passionate about making etiquette accessible, practical and relevant to everyday life. For training, coaching and speaking engagements, contact +263 771 496 175.
