daniel chigunwe
Fadzayi Maposha
Correspondent
There are so many of us who have experienced what we see in movies.
It is only that our versions were not filmed.
When we were young, my mother Ma Ncube would ensure that towards the end of day, we put things to order, swept and dusted quickly and then bathed.
Then in our nightdresses and pyjamas we would be carefully arranged on a mat, watching television as we waited for my father, WaMambo to come home.
When we heard the sound of the car, we ran off to welcome our father.
My mother would be finishing off the evening meal.
When I was older, I would assist my mother in the kitchen, preparing supper and washing dishes before the main news bulletin on television.
Mind you, the main news used to be at a quarter to eight at night, many years ago.
I would still go out to help my siblings welcome my father home. Every day we would have something to carry into the house. On some days, it was the newspaper.
On some days, it was his briefcase or the jacket that he would have been wearing at work.
On some days, it was a treat that he had brought home for the family, it could be anything from fruit to some sweets.
On other days, he would bring us freshly baked buns from the bakery, this was especially so when we stayed in Kadoma. There was one bakery near my father’s workplace.
Treats were not granted. It was the fact that they were random that made them special.
We did not have a schedule that told us when we would receive the treats and as a result we could not ask where the treats were on the days there were none.
What was important was his presence not his presents. My parents had a no treat before supper policy.
It was unwritten but it was verbalised all the time that it stuck! My father is late now but my mother even today will tell me as an adult that eating something before a main meal will spoil my appetite.
My mother would finish off preparing supper and then we would help serve by taking the handwashing dish and serving supper.
Then we would sit as a family and have supper. My father would ask about school and other extra curricula activities. That was the time my mother would fill in my father on details about who had come home late!
She would say it so nicely that as one was busy enjoying their supper they could miss it.
She could say that she had noticed that Fadzi was really enjoying playing tennis that she came home after all the boys had finished bathing and as a result she could not help much in the kitchen.
Supper time was a time for cautions, compliments and encouragement.
Since it is not every day that one was way ward, it was good to eat together.
On some nights you would be the family hero, and there would be echoes of well-done from other siblings after the parents applauded the work done.
We did not have a dining room table to sit around, but we had our supper together.
Now who has not seen a similar scene played out on TV, only that the children will not be seated on reed mats.
While the families on television self-serve themselves, we had other food dished out in the kitchen, but still I have lived scenes from television!
Tomorrow is Fathers’ Day. I wish to salute the present and hands on fathers, doing their best each day.
On some days, they bring material goods, on some days they bring just themselves and yet the children love and respect them for being there.
It is not easy always being present. At times one just wants to disappear and return when the children are grown up and they can fend for themselves.
Parenting is not for the faint hearted (Saustin Mfune). To a child no other man is as strong as their father. As a result, the children look up to the father for encouragement.
There are some fathers who have just become sperm donors. There are some men who sire children but are nowhere in the child`s picture.
Such children grow up get to experience the fathers’ role on television.
Some churches have programmes where some families adopt such children so that they can experience having a father in the picture.
Yet the children`s fathers are there out somewhere, alive and well.
In the Shona custom, there is a tradition where an uncle is made guardian after his brother has died.
He is called a “Sarapavana” (one who remains with the children).
He is supposed to be a father to his nieces and nephews; it can be just for moral support but if he can support the family materially it is still good.
There are some men who have children but are not taking care of them and yet maternal uncles in most instances are acting like “Sarapavana” for children whose fathers are alive.
This Fathers’ Day if you are a living dead father, is it not time you go back to your child`s life to become a present and hands on father.
It is not important how old your child is. Remember it is better late than never.
It will not be easy but I am sure both parties can navigate around the bends.
You may never have the best of relationships but you will have a chance to get to know one another. Try it.
Happy Fathers’ Day! Celebrate your father. Celebrate the ones who have been your father even if they are not your biological father.
Online Reporter