Fighting over pizza

Lincoln Towindo
Aaah yas, life can be so amusing. In one instance, it’s sunny and beautiful like blooming roses and the patterns of a kaleidoscope. In the next, it simply throws garbage at you. But it is the tenacious ability of Zimbabweans to locate humour in seemingly insurmountable circumstances that just cranks me up. I guess that trait is in every Zimbabwean’s DNA for I found myself bursting into hearty laughter after sifting through the cause of last week’s ‘import protests’.

When I first learnt of Statutory Instrument 64 of 2016, I was immediately enveloped in a frightening chill that left me ashen-faced and shivering. For goodness’ sake, I thought the Industry and Commerce Minister Mike Bimha had sealed off the entire Zimbabwe-South Africa border!

But no, as I later established, all he had done was simply restrict the importation of selected goods. And what shook me out of my apprehension was rib-cracking. The list of restricted items brought me many blushes as I read and decoded its full thrust and spirit.

I shall close my eyes as I tell you this, dear reader: Statutory Instrument 64 of 2016 restricts importation of products such as pizza base, yoghurts, body creams, potato crisps, peanut butter, vegetables, dairy juice blends, cheese, fruits, milk, salad cream and oh, bottled water.

Yes, I know you are embarrassed too.

You ought to be.

Kuchemera pizza here shuwa, neyoghurt?

But you are not alone in that embarrassment, we are together for several reasons.

For years now, we have been in pole position as Africa’s most literate society.

Literacy denotes not just the ability to read and write, but also some level of sophistication that spurs abstract thought and deeper analysis.

But for some reason, we are often moved by the buffeting winds of circumstance, often birthed from popular opinion in our circles.

What has happened to that deft ability to read?

Where is our own analysis?

Acts 17:11 says, “And the people of Berea were more open-minded than those in Thessalonica, and they listened eagerly to Paul’s message. They searched the Scriptures day after day to see if Paul and Silas were teaching the truth.”

The Bereans “were more open-minded” (and literate as we are).

If they could search the Scriptures in that manner, then surely our society can fare much better with similar analysis.

Word out there is that the relevant authorities did not communicate SI 64 effectively, and that is true.

Nevertheless, that does not take away the imperative for us to absorb and comprehend literature on matters that affect us directly.

If we don’t, elements with completely divergent agendas will hijack our space.

I’m reminded of Shakespeare, “The evil that man do lives after them. The good is oft interred with their bones. . .”

Friends, Zimbabweans, countrymen, lend me your ears.

I come to enlighten you on Statutory Instrument 64 of 2016, not to praise it. It has rattled many, but let’s not inter its objectives. Two years ago, Government introduced similar restrictions on wholesale cooking oil imports.

Locally-manufactured cooking oil now occupies 95 percent of supermarket shelf space, a massive jump from 15 percent in 2014. The price of a two-litre bottle has also declined gradually from around US$4,20 to at least US$2,60.

We should focus on such medium to long term views, not this short term misconception that buying locally manufactured yoghurt will bring our world to an end, because it surely won’t.