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SINCE time immemorial the words future and love have never been convincingly used in the same sentence.
Prospective love birds always put their long term goals of building a lovely family basing on nothing less than passion while future on the other hand tends to be a corrosive force that withers love into detest.
This is inevitable, as wishful as lovers wouldn’t want it to be, triggers several ripple effects.
There’s a stark difference when a man loves a woman and when he no longer does. When a man no longer loves his better half, he makes it obvious and certain things change about him.
To some relationship fanatics, they even claim that men’s skin glows when they are in love. The opposite is true when they are not.
Men make it known through body language, behaviour and how they treat their better halves. In general he becomes an open book which the traditional society fails to read further than overwhelming use of juju.
Unfortunately though there are signs that a relationship is breathing its last, some women tend to cling on even though the handwriting will be clear.
Men, like I have always maintained, are predictable and no wonder some women can manipulate them. When a man is no longer in love it’s easy to tell, because like a desperate child reaching for candy, he would have initially shown you his other side.
The only difficult part is when your partner sold you a dummy from the onset, in that strategic position he/she will be able to mess around your heart in circles.
Even international musician R Kelly once sang that “When a woman is fed up there is nothing you can do about it.” When a woman has stopped loving you, it can definitely feel like the world has stopped and is about to crumble.
Unlike men who don’t have a consistence display of affection, women make their point known that they are in love and if it’s over the signs are projected in sublime colours and mostly the tell tale signs become a staple diet forcibly fed to the other half.
When a woman stops loving a man, her caring and inquisitive nature dies off; she no longer bothers what goes on in her man’s life and hardly cares.
Thus in most cases women barely cheat; when they do history is decorated with how they would have fallen off the love wagon long back.
When a woman is in love, she finds her man super attractive and charming.
However, the same cannot be said when she stops loving him; no matter how good-looking he is, she wouldn’t find him attractive once she has lost that desire for him.
Unlike men who can tolerate their partner even though love would have suffered a gruesome death, women find their partners repulsive.
A woman in love would put in all efforts for her man and the relationship, but when this isn’t the case, she won’t care about the relationship anymore — so she wouldn’t put efforts to make the relationship better or show her man that she cares.
Even though she might still linger in the relationship with you, if she stops loving you then communication as well stops.
Those moments where you both get to talk and laugh for hours would die off and she wouldn’t let you in on what’s going on in her life; you would be like a complete stranger to her.
Also, when a woman no longer loves a man, she no longer gets moved by the things her partner does for her; if she loves him, she appreciates even the little things done by her lover.
Communication is the backbone of any relationship, once it’s broken a lot of things go west.
Once a woman falls out of love she cuts you off, communication in such a scenario, just like sex becomes a duty.
When a man doesn’t love his woman anymore, he no longer sees the need to communicate with her; communication becomes a burden to him.
He talks less to her, he doesn’t communicate his feelings or things that are going on in his life anymore and he doesn’t even listen to her anymore.
Although a relationship is vibrant and all the signs are there, there is that constant need to say the three magic words “I love you.” Once your man or woman stops giving you that affirmation know that you have already hit rock bottom.
Sex becomes a duty dreaded at most and for many they start practicing abstinence as if they are saving themselves for their first marriage.
As much as we would want it, it’s unrealistic to expect a flawless futuristic love.
In future, do not wait to be told by your neighbour, but one should notice the red lights and try to bring back the lost spark before it becomes too late.
Just like fire love needs to be constantly stoked.
derick.khumalo