admin
Tsungai Chekerwa-Machokoto
WOMEN’s quest for parity involves a lot of dynamics that demands them to be proactive. The dynamics are effected by a variety of people.
Advocacy, unfortunately, is deemed as being for a special few. It is not because women are not interested. No.
It is because women are intimidated by challenges that they feel they are not intellectually equipped or competent to handle.
This switches their interest off and they become spectators, watching the game that affects their very being from the terraces, instead of playing.
The good news is that while a university degree is of paramount importance, it is not a prerequisite for interest or for advocacy on issues to do with parity.
Simone de Beauvoir, a French feminist once said that ‘one is not born a woman, one becomes a woman’. In the same vein, it might be argued that one is not born an activist, one becomes an activist.
This statement suggests that there is a lot of room for growth and for learning until one becomes an advocate for any given cause.
It has been established that the injustices of the past have left women in a very vulnerable position. Retention rates for girls in schools continue to drop due to many factors. Son preference prevails still even in homes that should be affected by modernism.
Girls are discouraged from entering challenging science-based professions but encouraged to choose careers that are an extension of the gender roles the society created for them.
For these reasons, every woman should become an activist for the sake of the lives of those in their spheres of influence.
With evidence of the results of oppression, marginalisation and discrimination, any woman who experiences these should join in the fight against patriarchal dominance and channel their enthusiasm towards parity.
One does not need an education to be vulnerable, neither does one need to qualify to be marginalised. Some of these things are inevitable, hence the reason why every woman should be involved in the fight to fix the effects of the injustices of the past. The easiest way is to start by getting involved in issues that affect you and exhibiting an active interest, with or without the credentials required.
The ‘eyes’ that surround us in life can be inhibiting to our progress. Society tends to judge our actions quite harshly and in certain instances it is easier for us to crawl back into our shells and endure a world that is not favorable to us, women.
To women who have gone through this, I am here as evidence that it’s not over until it’s over. I went back to school after 10 years of nothing and I am thoroughly enjoying it. I feel enlightened, empowered and alive.
Who has stipulated an age that is acceptable to stop learning? Who said there is anything wrong with following your dreams at whatever point in your life? Who said education is off limits when your title changes from girl to mother then to grandmother? Who said society has to put a stamp of approval on your goals? It’s not over until it’s over.
It is never too late to start. And no matter what age you finish school, there is a customised void waiting for you to fill.
My own mother was a teacher for many years but decided that she wanted to do something more challenging with her life. At the age of 40 she went back to school and studied for a Bachelor of Science degree in Environmental Health.
She says it was a challenge to learn with students as young as her own children but so what? Who was checking? She completed her degree and passed extremely well. Just soon after graduating, her life was never the same again.
She became involved in a lot of areas that she had always been passionate about. She started to sit on reputable companies’ boards, making important decisions even to the extent of policy contributions. She went on to do her Masters in Public Health and is now starting her PHD.
If she had given in to the normal prescribed but unsaid order for women, (the one that says the moment you are married, you have arrived and wanting more than marriage and healthy children is a statement of ungratefulness), she would have died dreaming of becoming what she really wanted but never getting to attain or fulfill her dream in reality.
Women tend to be comfortable in their prescribed roles and it becomes difficult to wiggle out of the situations they find themselves entangled in.
The married women prefer to please society, pretending that everything is well with them just to avoid being labeled a cultural failure by society.
Single women are stigmatised and if they work for themselves and take care of their children as single parents, they are labeled ‘loose’ or ‘prostitutes’.
This is very sad because every woman is a potential single parent. At one point or the other a woman will be single, either by death, divorce, or failed relationships that produce a child/children. Being single is really not a point to ponder on.
The reason I shared the story of my mother who started her first degree studies at the ripe age of 40 is to encourage some woman out there who is yet to realise her full potential to pick herself up and pursue her ambition.
She should go back into the depths of her heart and claim her dreams and go for them. It is never too late, no matter how impossible it seems, it is achievable.
The appropriate strength for this type of action can only be found in one’s inner self. The seeking for approval syndrome is terrible because when you wait for people to define you, you are most likely not going to like that definition.
While it is important as social beings to have some sort of support from our fellow members of society, it is an equally valid point that one can achieve her dreams completely without that support.
Formal education is liberating in the sense that it gives you the confidence to argue or negotiate your way through the intimidating, decision making arenas of life be it government, boardrooms or committees of whatever kind.
A qualified individual is respected for their open mindedness and their informed contributions and sound intellect. Informal education through life experience is also priceless and when coupled with formal education, a woman becomes unstoppable.
It is always important to reflect on our lives as women, our influence, our contribution to society and our immediate communities.
Let us feel encouraged to never give up going for our dreams. No matter how far-fetched or ridiculous they might seem, we should just go for them.
This will enable us to stand up for our fellow women, to advocate for what is rightfully ours and doing that with the confidence of our convictions. No time is ever too late because it’s not over until it’s over!
About the writer: Tsungai Chekerwa-Machokoto is a holder of a Diploma in Human Rights (North-West University), B.Sc Women’s and Gender Studies, (Women’s University in Africa) and is studying towards a Bachelor of Laws (LLB) with the University of South Africa.
Online Reporter