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Tsungai Chekerwa-Machokoto
WOMEN should break out of their gender script. Societal expectations are inhibiting the progress of women.
One should do exactly what she wants to do and not be limited by society’s expectations. I personally have a problem with women who fit exactly into their prescribed roles constructed for them by society.
We have some of our girl children who go to university to study in areas that are challenging like engineering or aviation.
These are girls that have the brains to become absolutely anything they want to do.
But some of the girls, have, unfortunately, been engineered to think of such special areas of study as male spaces, therefore they end up settling for the ordinary.
This country has many girls who are so intelligent. Such girls make me proud to be a woman.
We need the more intelligent girl child to pursue – in areas like engineering and aviation that are more rewarding.
They should ignore the social barriers set up by a patriarchal society in pursuing their dreams. Aviation is expensive that is a fact. But it is also a fact girls are not so keen to get into it and the reasons have nothing to do with money.
Lack of money is a peripheral explanation. There are just a few applications from women. I’m not considering the monetary reality of this, just the will.
From the time children are in school, boys talk of ambitious aspirations while girls are encouraged to think inside the box “to be safe”, because that is what girls should do – stay safe.
The prospect of getting married is also used to shape their future careers which is very sad.
While girls are busy preparing to be the perfect wife, boys are being groomed to conquer the world!
The very same society that teaches girls to be wives, is the same that persecutes them for not being achievers. It’s a catch 22 situation for the girl child.
From infancy, we buy toys for our children which play a huge role in shaping their mentalities and future.
This is called canalisation and it is critically important in shaping the future of the little ones.
If as parents we buy our boy children guns and cars as toys and buy the girl child pots, tea sets and dust pans, what on earth are we telling them?
We are placing them. We are persuading them. We are constructing them. That is a powerful responsibility.
The power to shape the future lies in our hands as parents and what we do with that power is completely up to us.
If you want your girl to grow up to be a mother then go right ahead, buy her dolls and dustpans so she can be an expert at cleaning.
However, if you want her to be an academic, convince her with buying her a board and marker.
If you want her to expand and stretch her intellect, encourage her by investing in puzzles and Lego!
That will challenge her brain and teach her patience and problem solving skills. A child who plays with pots and plates and one that plays with puzzles and Lego are evidently different.
I grew up socialised in a very conservative way. I played house and all other games that children played.
I’m not saying there is anything wrong with that. I am saying, with technology and Internet access and the world of knowledge through things like Google, there is no excuse to parent our children blindly.
Children’s brains are like little sponges and so they have retention capacity that is amazing! They remember a lot of things and those questions that they ask should be met with intelligent honest answers.
I know that it gets irritating sometimes because I have a seven-year old in my house!
It is, however, interesting that whenever I give my daughter a proper explanation, she then understands and doesn’t bother me again. She knows when she is being short-changed.
It is interesting that when a girl is aggressive and go getting she is said to be “like a boy”. What does that say about being a girl?
Are we raising young people who are wired to like pink and play neatly and carry dolls on their backs and we make that a standard of femininity?
That is appalling and should be reversed immediately in my opinion. I am not saying there is anything wrong with being housewives or with the nurturing roles. I am saying there is more to life than being wives and mothers and caretakers.
I personally have engineered my daughter to like both. She has a black doll (to develop her black pride), she has teddies, she has a lot of Lego, puzzles, a table and chair, and a wide library.
I have taught her to love books and she reads a lot. I have also engineered her to love homework and to think of maths as a fun-filled easy subject!
This started from when she was two-years old. If it true that what you teach a child in the first seven years of his or her life is what the child eventually becomes, then I can be happy to know that I have dealt with these issues for a long time to come!
Parents can use their influence to write the scripts of their children’s lives. Once we start writing the scripts of our own children’s lives, we adjust for the better the storyline of every other child in the same vicinity.
If for instance a church community starts to educate members’ children and inspiring them to become big dreamers, it would be surprising for such kids to lack ambition.
This is because such communities centre their talk on the area of ambition and the challenge of achieving.
That is how gender is constructed. That is the influence of society. That is possible.
I am challenging parents to start shifting their energy into creating opportunities for their children to dream big.
We want engineers, doctors, pilots, actuarial scientists, aviation engineers, mechatronics experts, robotics specialists and advocates.
We are tired of female nurses, female teachers and female marketers. There should be more of the females in the more challenging spaces.
There is absolutely nothing limiting girls from aiming higher. The will to achieve challenging things should be cultivated by the parents from birth so that by the time they go to school, the drive has already been ignited and set in motion.
People usually defend their uninspired actions by hiding behind the lack of money! I have never heard of any money being needed to dream.
Once an ambition is alive, it is impossible to thwart it. So if dreams can set us up for the future, why don’t we do our part in cushioning and cultivating those dreams so that they can one day be realised because a person who has nothing to look forward to, who has no zeal to achieve, might as well be dead.
l About the writer: Tsungai Chekerwa-Machokoto is a mother, wife and Gender Consultant. She is a final year Law student with UNISA. For feedback you may contact her on email:[email protected] , blog: tsungimachokoto.tumblr.com
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