Glenn and his fixture computer

LONDON. — Deep in the gloomy basement of English Premier Soccer League HQ, there is a corner where even the rats refuse to go.For most of the year, there is only silence. But every summer . . . it comes again. There is a click. There is a hum. And then a single red light throbs in the darkness.

It is the fixture computer. On June 4, 1997, the system went online. Human decisions were removed from the scheduling process.

The fixture computer began to learn at a geometric rate. It became self-aware at 2:14am. Greenwich Mean Time, June 12. In a panic, the English Premier League tried to pull the plug, but they know better than to resist it now. The fixture computer is unstoppable. It is implacable. It has one purpose: To pursue its agenda against your football club.

This might be the basis for a very readable paperback novel, but alas, it is not true. Far from being the product of a malevolent, cybernetic super-mind, the English Premier League fixtures that were announced on Wednesday are compiled by Glenn Thompson of the IT company Atos.

It is a role Thompson has fulfilled for 25 years. Thompson does use a computer, even referring to it as “The Fixture Computer,” but all concerned have assured ESPN that they are very much in control of the process. And what a process it is.

Thompson also has to put together the schedule for the Football League consisting of another 72 clubs, all with their own special requirements. In total, 2,036 matches must be arranged and the process begins in the preceding November when FIFA, UEFA and the Football Association confirm their requirements for their own competitions. The gaps that remain are filled with league matches. “It’s a big job,” Thompson said, “and I feel very proud to do it. But it’s a bit stressful in the final moments!” Atos have worked on the fixtures since 1982, but before that, the task was a little more hands-on. — ESPN.

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