Holding on to a dead man’s promise

THERE is something about serene rural life — far removed from the hustle and bustle of fast-paced city life — that cultivates a certain level of inner peace.

There is also something about living with, in and around nature that imparts life-long wisdom about the inner workings of the world.

Nature, it seems, holds the secrets to life.

And this is why Bishop Lazi learnt to read signs from nature from a very early age.

In summer, even when conditions made it look improbable or impossible that it would rain, whenever you heard the early morning cries of the bird we called haya — the white man calls it the rain cuckoo — you certainly knew that the parched land would almost certainly be soothed by the season’s rains on the same day.

We also learnt to read signs of imminent rains from the irritatingly strident sounds of cicadas (nyenze), patterns of early morning dew (dova) and the position and shape of the moon.

And understanding animal behaviour would often mean the difference between life and death. For example, the Bishop knew, as did other villagers, that whenever cattle refused to drink water from the river and hurriedly turned away, it was a sign that a crocodile was lurking somewhere in the murky water or nearby.

But when the coast was clear, the cattle would drink and wade in the water as they took time to cool down after being baked by the oppressively hot sun.

We, too, would normally seize the opportunity to take a dip, which usually amounted to a day’s routine bath.

In this part of the savanna, crocs account for most fatalities in encounters between humans and wild animals. These reptiles, which have evolved over the past 250 million years, have the uncanny ability to lie motionless on river banks to the extent that they are often mistaken for logs that would have been washed ashore by raging river floods.

Taking the risk to venture into murky waters can often be fatal.

The crocs can imperceptibly ease into the water without alerting prey, lock their eyes on the target and, in a sweeping torpedo-like swoop, move in for the kill.

Once they sink their multiple sharp teeth into prey and execute the death roll, it is all over. Bishop Lazi is convinced that people who live to tell the tale of having successfully wrestled crocodiles in the water would have been lucky enough to be attacked by young crocodiles, not the fully grown reptiles, which are consummate predators.

So, there were valuable lessons to be learnt — You were better advised to never take the risk of venturing into murky waters; what you might think is a log may actually be a crocodile; never underestimate and take chances with crocs; and whenever you feel the hibbie-jibbies or feel your hair stand on end, especially near the river, it is better to trust your instincts.

In short, fear crocodiles.

Job 41: 1-10: says: “Can you pull in Leviathan with a fishhook or tie down its tongue with a rope? Can you put a cord through its nose or pierce its jaw with a hook? Will it keep begging you for mercy?

Will it speak to you with gentle words? Will it make an agreement with you for you to take it as your slave for life?

Can you make a pet of it like a bird or put it on a leash for the young women in your house? Will traders barter for it? Will they divide it up among the merchants?

Can you fill its hide with harpoons or its head with fishing spears? If you lay a hand on it, you will remember the struggle and never do it again!

Any hope of subduing it is false; the mere sight of it is overpowering. No one is fierce enough to rouse it. Who then is able to stand against me?”

Learning nothing, forgetting nothing

Bishop Lazarus found himself reflecting on these critical life lessons when some members of the vanquished G40 members, led by Saviour Kasukuwere, confirmed politics’ worst-kept secret that the 53-year-old will be making another bid for the highest office in the land on August 23; this time through the ballot box.

In 2018, the Tyson Wabantu movement was abortive, as it suffered a stillbirth, but they now think conditions are propitious enough to launch themselves.

Walter Mzembi — Kasukuwere’s bosom buddy — was quite animated last week and is clearly fancying the prospects of their nascent campaign.

“You can’t be a crocodile elsewhere when you are a lizard in your own village. Let’s fix Zimbabwe first . . . Let’s get Zimbabwe to work again . . . ,” he tweeted on June 8.

A day earlier, he had unwittingly revealed their strategy when he posted a barely cryptic message: “Umwe ngaabate gumbo, umwe ruvoko kuzvuvirana nokuzvuzvurudza kuita chirairo chokupedzisira. Nzou inoda kukomberana. Nguva yakwana!”

Its coded import was unmistakable: He was simply saying in order to fell the elephant-like ZANU PF, there was need to gang up against it.

So, essentially their strategy is not to win the elections but to try to spoil it for the ruling party. Clearly, these chaps have learnt nothing and forgotten nothing.

But the Bishop perfectly understands why Kasukuwere’s political judgement has become so clouded that he feels entitled to the presidency. As the story goes, the young man’s ego was stroked by the wily former president, Cde Robert Mugabe, during a trip to South America in early 2017, when he hinted to him that he was his anointed successor.

Cde Mugabe, however, believed that it would be increasingly difficult for the ambitious politician to win the trust of critical State organs and senior party officials.

So, it seems he still has a sense of proprietorship over the presidency.

Of late, he has been busy behind the scenes, canvassing for support and trying to build a coalition around him. Most interestingly, before the 2018 elections, the triangular communication among Nelson Chamisa, Kasukuwere and former First Lady Grace Mugabe piqued the interest of many in their political circles. It will be interesting to see how his political campaign will pan out when he decides to announce his candidacy.

The Bishop can only wish him good luck, and he will need it as he wades in the murky waters of local politics.

Wild goose chase

One of Germany’s consequential politicians, Otto von Bismarck, once told us that the greatest lesson we learn from history is that we do not learn anything from history.

He was right!

Former sons and daughters of ZANU PF, driven by unbridled ambition and an insatiable quest for power, have challenged the revolutionary party before, and the results have always been the same — a crushing defeat, followed by disillusionment.

In 1990, the firebrand Cde Edgar Tekere fell out with Cde Mugabe over the contentious idea of a one-party state.

He broke away from ZANU PF and formed Zimbabwe Unity Movement (ZUM).

However, in elections held on March 23, 1990, Cde Mugabe garnered 83 percent of the vote ((2 026 976), while Tekere only secured 16,95 percent (413 840 voters).

Overall, the ruling party won 117 out of the 120 seats on offer. ZUM settled for two seats in Chipinge North and Mutare Central.

In 2008, Simba Makoni, who was a mere proxy of some powerful forces that unsuccessfully tried to replace Cde Mugabe at the December 14, 2007 Extraordinary Congress, also put his name on the ballot.

But the bigwigs who were egging him on chickened out at the eleventh hour and elected to embark on a whispering campaign to decampaign Cde Mugabe.

These internal dynamics and intrigue resulted in Morgan Tsvangirai outpolling Cde Mugabe. Simba Makoni and his puppeteers managed to lure 207 470 votes.

ZANU PF consequently learnt bitter lessons from this imbroglio.

In 2018, Mai Joice Mujuru, who had been jettisoned from the ruling party on April 2, 2015 as a result of feverish factional intrigue, also tried her luck. It simply did not work out.

She only managed to convince 12 823 voters, compared to the more than 2,4 million votes of the winning candidate, President ED.

Judging from the lukewarm reaction that greeted news of Kasukuwere’s probable candidature, he might be fated to meet the same ignominious political end.

It is naïve — fatuous even — to think that Kasukuwere has the same political gravitas as Cdes Tekere, Makoni and Mujuru.

It takes age, wisdom and fate to be a political grandmaster.

In politics, wishes will never be horses.

Always learn to read the signs.

Bishop out!