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Fredrick Qaphelani Mabikwa
CHILD sexual abuse is a serious and widespread problem that affects millions of children worldwide. It is a form of child abuse where an adult or older adolescent uses a child for sexual pleasure.
It can involve physical contact, such as sexual acts, penetration, masturbation, kissing, rubbing, or touching. It can also involve non-contact activities, such as exposing oneself, making a child watch sexual activities, or producing child pornography.
Child sexual abuse is a criminal and immoral act, as children cannot consent to sexual activity.
Child sexual abuse can happen in any setting, such as home, school, or work where child labour is common.
One of the main forms of child sexual abuse is child marriage, which UNICEF calls “perhaps the most prevalent form of sexual abuse and exploitation of girls.”
Child marriage is a form of child sexual abuse that affects millions of girls around the world.
According to a study, about 27.6% of children (19.7% of females and 7.9% of males) have experience some form of child sexual abuse before they turn 18.
Most of the time, the abusers are people that the children know and trust.
Research shows that about 30% of the abusers are relatives of the child, such as brothers, fathers, uncles, or cousins. About 60% of the abusers are other acquaintances, such as friends, babysitters, or neighbours.
Only 10% of the abusers are strangers. Most of the abusers are men, who target both girls and boys.
However, women can also be abusers, who commit 15% to 40% of the offences against boys and 6% of the offences and, according to some studies.
It can be hard to detect, especially for young children who may not have the words to describe what happened to them. The signs of abuse may be physical or behavioural.
Physical signs may include injuries or itchiness in the genital area, which could indicate a sexually transmitted infection (STI) from the abuse.
The child may not even know that they have an STI.
Behavioural signs may include changes in the child’s mood, attachment, or sleep patterns.
For example, the child may become more anxious, clingy, fearful, or withdrawn. They may avoid or cry when they see the abuser or when they are left alone with them. They may have trouble sleeping or have nightmares.
Sometimes, the abuser may try to manipulate the child by giving them gifts, attention, or affection. This can make the child feel confused, guilty, or loyal to the abuser.
For girls, the abuser may be someone in their own family, even their father.
If you suspect that a child is being sexually abused, you should take action to protect them. You should report the abuse to the authorities, such as the police or social services.
You should also seek medical and psychological help for the child, as they may need treatment for their physical and emotional wounds.
You should support the child by listening to them, believing them, and reassuring them that they are not to blame. You should also educate yourself and the child about the risks and prevention of child sexual abuse.
Child sexual abuse is a traumatic and harmful experience that can have lasting effects on the child’s health, development, and well-being.
By recognising the signs of abuse and taking steps to stop it, you can help the child heal and recover from their ordeal. You can also help prevent future abuse by raising awareness and creating a safe and respectful environment for children.
Some abusers may try to bribe the child with gifts, treats, or affection to lure them into their trap. This can create confusion, guilt, or loyalty in the child.
For girls, the abuser may be someone in their own family, even their father. With all due respect to the extended family system, for example, you may find that your uncle who lives with you is always spoiling the child and the child is very fond of him for the wrong reasons. He is grooming his victim and drawing them closer to him.
When the child is vulnerable enough, the abuser strikes. Therefore, unusual weight gain may not be a good sign, as the child may be fed for the wrong reasons.
Sometimes, the child may think it is just a game and may enjoy it, and that is when you will see the child wanting to play that “game” (the abuse) that the uncle plays with them in private, now they want to play it in front of everyone to the uncle’s embarrassment.
Children between six and twelve years old may show physical and behavioural signs of distress when they are sexually abused.
They may be able to verbalise the abuse, but they may find it hard to disclose it for various reasons, so the only way out for them is to have physical symptoms of distress or to act out.
This group displays many indicators, some of which I discussed in my article “Indicators of distress in children”.
Bedwetting and soiling may be a bad sign for older children who should have outgrown these habits. Sexualised behaviour towards other children and adults may be a sign of sexual abuse in children.
Sexualised drawing and play are not a good sign. Ironically, some adults may find it funny when a child engages in sexualised play or drawing.
What it means is that the child is exposed to these things and that should be a concern for the parent.
Sexualisation that persists in public despite sanctions and prohibitions is a type of learned behaviour strongly linked to child sexual abuse.
Teenagers between 13 and 18-years-old may disclose the abuse, but the sad part is that they are often not believed.
Everything children tell us about abuse must be taken seriously and with urgency.
Teenagers who are not believed may run away from home, if the abuse is at home.
Girls may easily turn to prostitution and may get pregnant as a result of the sexual abuse. Some children may decide to end the abuse by committing suicide because no one believes them.
It is therefore very important to believe the teenagers when they tell us about the abuse.
We must tell them we are glad that they told us and let them know it is not their fault, they are not responsible for the consequences.
We must assure them of their safety and let them know we will help them.
These messages and reassurances must not be given out of context and as a formality.
Children can easily sense it. These assurances should be given in the right context and the child should see and feel that we are truly with them and trust that we will help them.
Some children may not tell anyone right after an abuse has happened.
This is when we hear during some trials of sex offenders that abuse was going on for months or even years without being noticed.
Since most of the abusers are known to the child, this confuses the child.
The child does not know how to deal with this situation in a family setting.
The child is afraid of the implications of telling the family. Sexual abuse survivors may also be threatened with death or harm to their siblings or parents.
It is only when a child can trust a significant adult that they can break the silence and fear and talk about the abuse.
Online Reporter