Online Reporter
Trust Khosa
Zimpapers Arts and Entertainment Hub
THIRTY years as a widow have been unbearably hard for Mai Dembo, who lost a pillar of her family just as his future was peaking.
These three decades of grief have been written into her life like the chapters and verses of a tragic book.
As many say, it is impossible to open a new chapter when the person you hoped would stay with you for life is gone.
While most partners hope to raise children together, the cruel hand of death can snatch a loved one without warning.
The resulting wound is slow to heal; every anniversary of the loss becomes a fresh nightmare.
While some may move on quickly, those who truly loved their partners often take years to heal — or never do — especially when the departed touched so many hearts.
For Mai Dembo, born Eunice Munatsi, every anniversary of the death of her husband, Leonard “Dembo” Dembomavara Tazvivinga, brings renewed sorrow.
Dembo died on April 9, 1996, at the age of 36. He would have turned 66 on Thursday this week.
Tragically, his death fell in Mai Dembo’s birthday month; she was born on April 17.
Their three children — Morgan, Tendai and Fenny — were very young when they lost their father.
Fenny was only five and now relies on her mother’s memories to understand much about the departed patriarch.
Her brothers, Morgan and Tendai, were 10 and nine, respectively.
Mai Dembo has carried this burden largely alone.
Despite her late husband’s music remaining as beloved as ever, very few relatives, friends or fellow musicians have acted as pillars of support.
For years, she fought to secure what was rightfully hers and her children’s, pursuing her husband’s royalties.
Now, Mai Dembo says she has finally thrown in the towel, no longer possessing the “venom” to confront those she says have been “milking” her family.
“I was not comfortable giving this interview because people will say I talk too much out of bitterness,” Mai Dembo asserted.
“The pain is still the same — the loss is simply unbearable. He stood by his family and we all know what he did for the country and the industry.
“But it has been 30 years of hustling and struggling to make ends meet, like many widows of celebrated figures do.”
Although she successfully raised her children to adulthood, she has never truly come to terms with the loss of her husband.
“People tell us to be strong, but it is not easy,” she said.
“Another challenge is that I have had an amputation, so I can no longer move as I used to. I have grandchildren now and I have decided to leave everything to God.
“Life is no longer the same as I age. Thirty years feel like yesterday because his image still lingers in my mind. Sometimes, I still feel like he will come back from his errands; he was such a hardworking father.”
After years of interviews, Mai Dembo feels there is little left to say.
“I have exhausted everything, but there are things people would not believe if I shared them,” she said.
“Do you know that since my husband’s death in 1996, no official from Gramma Records or Record and Tape Promotions has visited to check on us? Dembo was one of their biggest ‘cash cows’ in Zimbabwe,” she said.
“Each time I visited their offices, they would block me, labelling me a nuisance. This makes me angry every time we mark his anniversary. I do not think he would have entertained their nonsense.”
The tormented widow revealed that changes in ownership at the formerly Lonrho-owned Gramma Records have left the family confused about whom to approach.
“To be honest, there was a time when Gramma Records changed hands. We heard at one point it was being run by Elias Musakwa, but the people were unreachable,” she said.
“We do not even know how much was owed to him because so much has changed. It has been ages and there is not a specific person to approach for assistance.”
Mai Dembo accused local collective management organisations (CMOs), such as the Zimbabwe Music Rights Association, of lack of transparency.
“I have lost hope in local CMOs because sometimes they distribute royalties without clarifying how they arrived at those figures,” she said. “I do not want to go deeper because I will end up getting angry and many know that I am short-tempered,” she said.
With her husband’s 30th death anniversary approaching, Mai Dembo says she is taking a step back to let her children take the lead.
“My children are grown now. This time, they told me to relax while they organise their father’s anniversary, as I am no longer as active as I used to be,” she said.
“For the past two years, they have put together wonderful shows that saw friends from Mozambique, Mutare and other parts of Zimbabwe travel to Chirumhanzu to celebrate with us.
“As has become the custom, I will travel there on the 7th of April to monitor the preparations. We have a private function on the 9th and the children are planning a public celebration on the 11th of this month.”
Despite her hardships and the pressures of widowhood, Mai Dembo still holds fond memories of how she and Leonard met.
“I met him around 1984 in Masvingo and we married seven months later in 1985. We just clicked; I knew I had found a real man who truly loved me,” she said with a chuckle.
“For your information, he paid the bride price all at once. My family was happy because he was a committed man. We lived as husband and wife for years before getting legally married in 1994.
“Sadly, he passed away in 1996 and life has never been the same. If he was still around, I believe he could have conquered the world because he loved his craft so much.”
His children also spoke glowingly of a legacy they only caught a glimpse of, having been mere toddlers when he passed away. Fenny, now a South Africa-based artiste, described the 30th anniversary as a moment to be cherished.
“I will be in Zimbabwe in time for the event. My dad’s fans, old and new, should expect a memorable occasion of song and dance,” she said.
“We will hold a small family event by laying wreaths on his grave, followed by a big party at our homestead in Chaka. In the run-up to the event, I will run online promotions where fans can win T-shirts and caps. This is our way of honouring his life.”
When asked how Dembo would fare in today’s music scene, she was blunt.
“He could have been the Michael Jackson of Africa, without a doubt. He was ahead of his time. He touched the hearts of many and we will always cherish that,” she said.
On her personal memories, Fenny added: “I would be lying if I said I remember him well; I was too young. But my mother tells me how much he loved me and how we enjoyed each other’s company.
“She has shown me videos and his music truly resonates with me.”
Tendai assured fans of a memorable experience during the commemorations.
“We cannot promise too much, but we have put something special in place to remember our dad,” he said. “A public show is guaranteed, and we hope fans show up in numbers.”
The eldest brother, Morgan, agreed.
“He was a special man who deserves special treatment and honour,” he said.
Ultimately, Mai Dembo’s wish is to see her husband’s impressive body of work support the family for generations.
She points to the Bob Marley legacy — which continues to benefit his great-grandchildren more than four decades after his death — as the standard she wishes the Dembo legacy to achieve.
After all, he gave Zimbabwe timeless classics like “Chitekete”, “Shamwari Yangu Warova”, “Venenziya” and “Zorora Wawana”.
In fact, nearly every song was a hit — the mark of a perfectionist who was truly ahead of his time.
As the nation commemorates his 30th death anniversary on April 9, many join the family in praying that his legacy remains vibrant and is never buried with his remains.
