Online Reporter
Dear Amai, I am 25 years old and single. I am gainfully employed. I live in the ghetto as a tenant.
At the place where I stay, each bedroom has a different lodger. If accommodation was not hard to come by, I would have left a long time ago. The landlady abuses us.
One of the rules is that no one must lock their rooms, whether they are home or not.
She conducts random inspections when she pleases.
As if this was not enough, she takes what she wants from our fridges without permission. Is this not criminal?
I think she takes advantage of our ages and marital status; we are all in our 20s and single.
We are not allowed to entertain visitors at the house after 6pm. It is like a strict boarding school. Please help, we do not know what to do.
Response
Hello and thank you for reaching out. It is absurd for the landlady to inspect your rooms without due cause. It is also very uncultured to take what is not yours.
In this case, you are at a disadvantage because no lease was signed before moving in.
That is the only document that protects tenants from unfair practices. Look for new accommodation. It is the only way to resolve this conflict, I wish you all the best.
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Mother-in-law is raising hell
I am a 33-year-old woman, married to a man aged 35. We are blessed with three kids.
The youngest is three weeks old and she is the only girl.
My husband was very excited and gave our daughter my mother’s name.
He did this because on his side of the family there are already two people who were named after his mother.
Amai, there is a war of words; my mother-in-law is breathing fire.
She wants our child to be the third grandchild to bear her name.
She is calling my husband names and saying that he is henpecked.
She is also of the view that it is taboo to name a child after her maternal grandmother.
My mother had pleaded with my husband to change the name, but my hubby says he will not go back on that one; it is a done deal.
I had suggested that we make my mother-in-law’s name her middle name, but he is not interested in that. Please help!
Response
Hello writer, congratulations on the birth of your daughter.
Celebrate her. She is only three weeks old yet already there is much ado about nothing.
Your mother-in-law is overstepping.
Naming a child is the preserve of the biological parents. They can pass on the task to someone else if they wish. What is in a name?
The child was named after your mum but how many other people have that name?
I suggest you have a candid family meeting and clear the air.
Let me know how it goes. Enjoy your baby and pray for your family. Do not make a storm in a teacup.
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I no longer want to be a housewife
Hello Amai. I hope I find you well. I am a full-time housewife and a mother of two. My passion is to become a teacher.
I spoke to my husband and he agreed. We planned to look for someone to help with household chores.
We agreed to keep this to ourselves until we were sure of our plans.
Last week my husband visited his elder brother and came back with a change of heart.
I kept pressing because I wanted to know why he was no longer keen on the idea. He apologised for not keeping our plans to himself.
Apparently, his brother said it was not a good idea for me to improve my career prospects.
He was given several examples of men who had been dumped after improving their wives’ education.
I am heartbroken. I have cried my eyes dry. Is it ok if I confront my brother-in-law about this or my sister-in-law? Please help.
Response
I am very well and thank you for asking. It is very good to follow your heart. Your husband has proved untrustworthy and has let you down.
He went back on his word. His brother has no right to interfere and break what you are trying to build as a couple.
His examples may be valid in some cases, but why did he just pick the negative ones.
In other families, women who were educated by their husbands stayed with them and shared their newfound success with their family.
In some households, roles are reversed; wives are helping their spouses to advance their careers.
I suggest you go for professional counselling and talk about this issue and the art of not telling everyone your plans. I would be happy to hear from you again.
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