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Laina Makuzha LOVE by DESIGN
In today’s fast-paced world, some couples find themselves causing each other pain through disloyalty and a sheer absence or departure of love.
Basing on the stories of pain I’ve been coming across this week I thought we should explore the significance of loyalty, fidelity, and honouring marriage with faith in God at the centre of it all. We will also consider how breaking the fabric of trust can lead to the erosion of the relationship.
I’ve heard countless well prepared, well thoughtout wedding vows that brides and grooms exchange on their special day, especially in modern times. These I reckon, can serve as a reminder to the couple of what they committed to.
In fact I wonder what would happen if all couples framed their vows or something and kept them in their bedrooms, like a company vision and mission statement of sorts. Whether in good times, or tough times, their vows could remind them of what brought them together in the first place and what they both so deeply hoped for.
Marriage is a sacred bond between two individuals based on love, support, and trust — with faith in God being central in building it. When such key components are missing, the very fabric of that marriage is compromised. Some of the best marriages and marriage examples I have seen are those anchored in faith. We can try in our own efforts to do the best we can but some of the challenges can be insurmountable. However, faith in God serves as the foundation for a fulfilling and purposeful life together, beyond selfish desires and any destructive behaviour.
Pain of disloyalty
Disloyalty, in any form carries immense pain. Whether it is through infidelity, betrayal of trust, or neglect, such actions have the potential to shatter the very core of a marriage. Each act of disloyalty tears apart the bond that once held the couple together, leaving behind a trail of resentment and hurt. It is crucial to understand that loyalty to each other binds a marriage, strengthening the foundation of love and trust.
Tit for tat tendency
The tit for tat approach to handling offence creates a vicious cycle that can worsen the situation. Some individuals however, fall into the trap of adopting this mentality when dealing with marital conflicts. They justify their actions by seeking revenge for perceived wrongdoings rather than working towards resolution and growth.
More often than not, this cycle of retribution only further damages the marriage, deepening the wounds created by lack of loyalty. To break free from this harmful pattern, it is essential for couples to focus on forgiveness, empathy, and effective conflict resolution, rather than indulging in retaliatory behaviour.
Consider talking things through, if the situation is still at a stage where both parties are willing to talk. As often suggested in this column, let peaceful resolution be your goal. Violence should never be an option. If as a couple you feel you are past the point of talking in a civil manner, seek sound counsel from spiritual leaders, trusted family elders or other professional counsellors in efforts to get on the same page, as one way to fight for, or honour the marriage you once committed to.
Unshakeable marriages
Do these exist? It is largely up to couples, what type of marriage theirs will be. To build unshakeable marriages though, there are many factors to consider.
Faith plays a major role, along with the need for couples to prioritise loyalty, fidelity, and open communication on their needs. Honouring one’s marriage means staying committed even when faced with challenges, temptations, or adversities.
It involves being devoted to the well-being of your partner, truly listening to their needs, and nurturing a deep emotional connection. Easier said than done, one might say. But by demonstrating unwavering loyalty and fidelity, couples can forge a bond that can withstand the tests of time. It’s about the willingness, unity of purpose and your focus in working on what you want to achieve as a couple.
Why communication and understanding matter
Trusting each other and kusateerera makuhwa is an old trick that seems to work like clockwork. Couples must create their own safe space where they can openly share their thoughts, fears, and desires. Open and honest communication is vital when a couple is committed to maintaining a strong and healthy marriage or any relationship for that matter.
By actively listening to each other and empathising with one another, couples can better understand each other’s needs, effectively addressing potential pain points before they escalate. It also helps you know your partner well enough to ward off those naysayers that often lurk about, waiting to pounce with negativity. Regular check-ins, thoughtful gestures, and quality time together all contribute to a solid foundation of trust and intimacy.
Let’s keep the conversation going on how to achieve this. I believe that by sharing our thoughts and experiences, we can learn from one another and grow together.
So, as always, I invite you to share your story, your ideas, views, and comments on what it means to honour your marriage and vows. How possible is it and how do you prioritise loyalty and fidelity in your relationship? What strategies have you found effective in overcoming challenges and conflicts? Please reach out with your feedback via the following:
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