adminmade as readers have sent in their life stories and these have been carried out, at times keeping the sender’s confidentiality.
The greatest joy has been walking with expectant HIV positive mothers and assuring them that the prevention of mother to child transmission is a success hence the need for them to register for antenatal clinic as early as possible.
Today, 17 mothers have given birth to an equal number of HIV negative babies. What a joy if an HIV free-generation is now within reach.
There have been tears of sorrow too as one is jilted after testing HIV positive. In most cases one part is found negative and then packs their bags and gives the other the back.
There have been accusations and counter-accusations as partners trade insults that one is the source of infection which does not help.
In such cases to the aggrieved part, my advice has always been to forgive and move on if love and trust have been lost. If they still love each other go for counselling and live positively.
One in the first place ought to have known the status of the other before jumping between the sheets.
There have been cases of innocent wives who after having walked up the church aisle with family and friends in tow have been shattered after testing HIV positive during routine ante natal clinic barely less than a year later.
There have been cases of husbands who have been left behind as the wife packs her bags in anger and bitterness at the betrayal. Some have even flown outside the country so as to have nothing to do with their “tormentors”. Not only that husbands have been the ones to blame, there have been innocent men too, who have not known that the other had been in a relationship before and had not used protection.
The heartache is real, I can feel it in the hundreds of emails that filter through my inbox.
There has been a college graduate – who while carrying the family baton has tested HIV positive and is at a loss for words.
Most have been able to know and point where they think they faltered. I have tried to give a shoulder to lean on, no family deserves to have a child commit suicide because one has tested HIV positive.
Is the message not clear enough for the youth that they still get infected this day?
There have been cases of church leaders opening up on their HIV status and this has had the community holding their breath.
The church stands morally upright and when this happens, its ice cold fronts as the weather becomes stormy.
Despite all this Cannon Gideon Byamugisha of the Anglican Church in Uganda went public on his HIV status in 1992.
Locally, a pastor followed in the footsteps and in 2005 Pastor Maxwell Kapachawo and wife went public.
They did this on national television. One man from Masvingo even suggested in his face that he ought to have taken off the holy collar first and stepping down as a priest before his announcement of “shame”.
Some castigated this as attention seeking. Some said they were opportunists and others said the man was not morally upright hence the whip he had got and become infected.
This did not deter him and he soldiered on founding the local chapter INERELA+.
The organisation made up of all religious leaders irrespective of belief has grown and today has traditional leaders in its midst.
There have been times when I have had to deal with people living in denial and deeply believe that they are being bewitched.
The sad part has been to watch even fellow friends in the media despite all the awareness believe that they are immune to the scourge hence no need to get tested.
No one can run away from death but when one runs towards it then that is a fearsome issue to fathom.
There have been deaths which I believe could have been avoided had one sought to know their HIV status on time and got assistance readily.
Some workplaces have made strides in their response to the HIV/Aids issue but mostly as a document that lies in the HR drawers.
Effective and human approach lacks as workers continue to call off sick yet all that was asked for would have been awareness and wellness campaigns.
In the long run the company benefits as less man-hours are lost as workers nurse avoidable infections and illnesses.
The rural area has made strides in this. Despite its traditional links there are village and ward peer educators who take it upon themselves to ensure everyone is tested.
The free for all lessons are given at the borehole, the grinding mill and even at church. Were we to test the level of understanding of HIV and Aids on the town and rural people, the rural folks would get the gold award.
The rural folk are not secretive about their status hence they have moved on and broken down the cultural and social barriers to HIV.
We have now young adults ready for marriage, these were born HIV positive and as long as we do not talk openly about HIV we perpetuate their alienation and suffering in silence.
I have also had to counsel most people who think that after testing HIV positive, they need to meet someone in the same boat and have a relationship. HIV status is no passport to compatible living and the early you know that the better.
One cannot go out hunting for a spouse and the deciding factor being your HIV positive status. That is a grave danger. Relationships are built on respect, understanding, communication, friendship and most of all love which brings in the caring part.
Sadly on some religious fronts there still exist barriers that make it impossible for women to seek health access as it goes against the church doctrine. In such cases the woman is married to the man, the church, the in-laws and even smaller aunts as they all have a say in your reproductive health. This puts the woman and baby at risk and a mother not knowing her status is a risk factor to her unborn child.
There have been cases of discordant couples and some affairs have gone tumultuous. Some have borne the brunt and have lived harmoniously despite the discordant status.
The most recent case is of a young woman aged 27. She holds a first degree and is gainfully employed. She went out with a medical doctor when she was still in college. After going out for a year she warmed up and they discarded protection, which she says was okay.
They never went for any HIV test but in 2008 when the economy went haywire the boyfriend trekked down south in search of greener pastures.
The girl applied for a university placing to further her standing intending to follow her boyfriend. She thus took a full medical test and the results of the HIV test were a shock.
She notified her lover who did not sound surprised and told her that he had found someone else hence did not need to be bothered.
This was a blow and the woman’s health deteriorated until her mother took her for treatment.
She recovered and went back to work. She met a man of her age. She was open and told him of her HIV status. He being HIV negative, she told him that he had to tell his family.
She said the parents did not take this well and exerted pressure on her lover until they broke up. She does not blame him and was asking if she could hook up with a man of similar status.
Again to this my answer is: “Let not your HIV status be your binding factor. Love and trust should be the cornerstone of any relationship.”
Above all, may we remember to involve the elderly as they too are not immune to HIV infection. Let them not suffer in silence.
May we all know our HIV status and eliminate any new infections deliberately or accidentally.
Keep the mail, the phone ringing, collectively we can walk over HIV and get to an HIV-free generation.
In all your endeavours, get to know your HIV status.
Online Reporter