admin
Women also call upon the powers-that-be to protect them from all forms of domestic violence perpetrated by their male counterparts.
Honestly, women have been hapless victims of gender-based violence and discrimination and befittingly this year’s International Women’s Day held on 8 March sought to further move women away from socio-economic disparities and all forms of domestic violence that continue to threaten them and the girl child in various communities especially in rural areas where most of them are still entangled in dominantly patriarchal families.
According to 2010-2011 Zimbabwe Demographic Health Survey, 30 percent of women have experienced physical violence at some point since the age of 15. Of these women, eight percent experienced physical violence within the past 12 months. Rural women and girls make up 25 percent of the global population but yet rank at the bottom of society’s economic ladder.
Zimbabwe enacted the Domestic Violence Act in 2006 for the protection of victims of domestic violence, who are often women and girl children.
One of the possible causes of domestic violence and inequality is lobola, which has been disproportionately distorted by modernity. The noble intention of lobola is to cement relations between the two families. Since time immemorial, lobola has been regarded as a token of appreciation from the husband to his in-laws. A man would give his in-laws a beast or money. The son-in-law could also choose to work for his in-laws as a way of paying lobola.
However, with modernity creeping into society, the lobola concept is getting distorted and now has different meanings attached to it.
Demands are now too many. Nowadays, men are expected to pay lobola in the form of cash, sometimes cars and cellphones, clothes for the in-laws, cattle, groceries and many other valuables.
After showering the in-laws with all these copious presents, men begin to view women as their property like chairs, sofas, wardrobes, fridges, stoves or many other assets ideal in a marriage. Most men seem to have difficulties in drawing the line between a woman in marriage and property. The value placed on a woman resembles that placed on chairs, televisions, stoves, hifis, and so on, the argument being that all would have been paid for before “use.”
These men therefore do not seem to expect anyone telling them how to “use” women taken as part of their property.
Worsening the situation is that some fathers-in-law would not tolerate their daughters walking out of a marriage because they fear being asked to reimburse their sons-in-law.
Daughters are taught to endure no matter what monster some men might turn out to be. A woman has to preserve her marriage. It seems the obligation to preserve this marriage is not placed upon the man’s shoulders because he paid lobola and as such the woman is regarded as property.
Because some men regard women as property, they proceed to make mocking wills on their wives. Such men have the audacity to write wills directing that, in the event of death, their former wives must not marry other men.
The lobola concept is largely to blame for the increasing cases of domestic violence. The mother of the bride usually has no or little say on the money paid and the bulk of it goes to the father of the bride giving further impression that men are “owners” of women and can do whatever they please with them. If men and women are equal why would men want to regard the latter as valuable household property? A woman cannot determine how many cattle she wants her husband to pay.
Mothers are also rarely involved in these negotiations, leaving men with the final decision. So the process gives a particular perception to the son-in-law who later elects to regard his wife as lesser than him but equal to property.
Clearly, lobola is a concept rooted in patriarchy but modernity has however corrupted it through greed for money and mock wills that seem to consign women to the level of household furniture.
The concept of lobola must be urgently reviewed with a view to trying to restore its original noble purpose of expressing appreciation as opposed to buying a woman. Fathers must not demand too much for lobola even if their daughters are educated. Fathers have the responsibility of fending and educating their children including daughters and that should not be an excuse to abuse lobola.
Although there are other causes of domestic violence and gender-based discrimination, I contend that the issue of abused lobola immensely contributes to domestic violence.
Cases of domestic violence, discrimination and oppression of women can only be reduced if the abuse of lobola is stopped and women are regarded as equals to their male counterparts.
Online Reporter