SOCIAL media access is no excuse to be possessive, or to harass your partner for attention.
I have observed with dismay how in this digital landscape, communication has become a double-edged sword. On one hand, social media has made it easier to stay connected with our loved ones, which is fantastic.
On the other hand, it has also created unrealistic expectations and a culture of over-communication particularly where its purpose is misunderstood.
As a result, many young couples especially, seem to be struggling to find a healthy balance in their relationships where communication is concerned.
Recently, I had the opportunity to speak with several young men who expressed their frustration with the constant need for communication from their partners.
They felt suffocated by the expectation of providing a minute-by-minute account of their day, and many felt that this was not only impractical but also ludicrous.
But is this really just a matter of trust?
What do women really want? (can we discuss this at length in a future article?)
Are women being too possessive and clingy, or are men just not communicating effectively?
The answer lies somewhere in between in my view. Both sides just need to understand each other and decide together what works for each of them, zvisina hasha mukati.
Some misconceptions of communication
Communication in relationships has been viewed by some, as being about constantly talking or texting. However, true communication is about understanding and respecting each other’s space and boundaries.
It is about trusting your partner to make their own decisions and live their own life.
Allow each other to still maintain individuality even as a couple, your partner does not stop everything or stop living because you are now in their life.
In today’s social media age, it is easy to get caught up in the idea that we need to be incessantly connected. Some feel the need to check their phones every few minutes, respond to every message immediately, and share every detail of their lives with their partner.
But this is not only unhealthy, it is also unrealistic. Just because your partner is online, does not mean they should be talking to you only, or that they are up to mischief if not chatting to you.
This is where many young people and some mature people in love might get it wrong.
The effects of clinginess
So here’s the thing, when we become too clingy or needy, it can have a suffocating effect on our partner.
They may feel trapped, smothered, or even annoyed by our constant need for attention.
This can lead to feelings of resentment, frustration, and even exhaustion.
On the other hand, when we give our partner the space they need, we allow them to breathe, to grow, and to thrive. We show them that we trust them, that we respect their boundaries, and that we value their individuality.
Healthy communication in the social media age
So, how can we communicate effectively in the social media age? Here are a few tips:
Do not be a pest: Respect your partner’s boundaries and do not expect them to respond to every message immediately. Remember they do have many other things to attend to whether work, side hustle, studies and more, even just relaxing. An approach I would recommend is to remember
Occupy yourself, get a life: Focus on your own interests, hobbies, and friendships. This will not only make you a more interesting person, but it will also give your partner the space they need.
Trust your partner: Trust that your partner is capable of making their own decisions and living their own life.
Use social media wisely: Do not use social media as a way to monitor your partner’s every move. Instead, use it as a way to stay connected and share your experiences with each other.
A few do’s and don’ts to keep in mind:
Do not call or text excessively: Respect your partner’s boundaries and don’t expect them to respond to every message immediately.
Do give your partner space: Allow your partner the space they need to focus on their own interests, hobbies, and friendships.
Do not use social media to monitor your partner: Trust your partner and do not use social media as a way to monitor their every move.
Do use social media to stay connected: Use social media as a way to stay connected and share your experiences with each other.
Advice for young men and women
If you are a young man or woman facing a partner who is clingy or needy, here are a few tips:
Communicate your boundaries: Let your partner know how you feel and what you need in terms of space and communication.
Set clear expectations: Set clear expectations for how often you will communicate and what you are comfortable sharing.
Encourage independence: In order for the relationship to not be stifling, encourage your partner genuinely(without malice) to have other constructive things to focus on, not just the relationship – eg having their own interests, personal development, hobbies and friendships and just pray that they will be mature enough to understand this and not take it personal.
Ultimately communication is key in any relationship, but it is especially important in the social media age. By understanding the misconceptions of communication, avoiding clinginess, and using social media wisely, we can build healthier, more balanced relationships.
Your thoughts matter!
I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Let us continue the conversation. Share your views, experiences, advice and questions about this topic. Your feedback will help us create more informative and engaging content, whether to find love, build stronger long lasting relationships or to fortify marriages.
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