Love never fails

Nolwazi Mnikwa, Relationships

ARE you in a space where you feel you have given your all to your marriage or your children or parents but somehow it seems your efforts are in vain. It appears as if there is no hope for your marriage or your relationship with your children and parents. Do you feel like you have tried but you have no try in you anymore? Well there is still one approach to your precious relationship that you could try. It is a tried and tested approach that guarantees results. It is the one approach that never fails regardless of the circumstances, and that approach is the approach of love. 

The nature and the characteristics of love do not allow for love to fail. If you want your relationship to be successful, you need to invest in researching on love, what love is and how to love. You need to learn the responsibility associated to love. Love is not just a feeling, it is more than a feeling and in order for you to enjoy the beauty of love, and you need to invest yourself in knowing about love and in making the effort to love your relation in a manner that displays the characteristics of love. 

What are the characteristics of love you may be asking? The following are the characteristics of love: love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonour others neither is it self-seeking, it does not keep record of wrongs, it does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth, love always trusts, protects, hopes and perseveres. It is these characteristics that make it impossible for love to fail.

You may be questioning the aspect of love never failing because you loved someone at a point and that relationship failed. Considering your failed relationships, you may be thinking that love fails. I would task you to carry out a small introspection exercise whereby you make an analysis of your failed relationship, assessing whether you applied all the characteristics of love mentioned above in that relationship. If you are completely honest with yourself in your assessment, you will realise that you may have actively applied some of the characteristics of love to your relationship, but you did not apply all of them. So in making that assessment, you will realise that the reason that relationship failed is because there is one or two or more characteristics of love that you failed to apply and uphold in your relationship. Note I mention the word uphold as it is necessary for you to uphold the characteristics of love in your relationship. 

In order to have a successful relationship, it is imperative that all the characteristics of love are applied and upheld in the relationship. Not some of the characteristics but all of them. It’s like when you buy a car that is a body on wheels and it does not have an engine, the car will not move, no matter what you try to do as long as the engine is not there and you have a body on wheels, the car will not move. Likewise, in a relationship where some or most of the characteristics of love are not upheld, you will not get to enjoy the joy of love in that relationship, and possibly that relationship will not last.

Love as mentioned earlier is more than a feeling. It is more than that warm fuzzy feeling; it is more than the butterflies you feel in your tummy. It is a decision that requires you to take responsibility as well as to make an effort. If you do not make an effort to apply and uphold the characteristics of love in your relationship, the lifespan of your relationship will be limited. 

However, if you make the decision to commit to the one you are in a relationship with, to make an effort to apply and uphold the principles of love in that relationship, then your relationship will last. Your relationship will be an example that proves that love never fails.

If you are in a rough space in your relationship with your spouse, child, parent, relation or friend, I would encourage you to start applying and upholding the above listed characteristics of love. You will begin to see the difference in your relationship in no time. When you begin to make this effort, do not allow yourself to be easily discouraged, but build the capacity to be consistent in your efforts, the capacity to persevere and not give up.

For a detailed insight into the characteristics of love mentioned in this article as well as their impact on a relationship, I would recommend that you refer to the previously published articles on the Love Series under this column.

In a nutshell, love when expressed right does not fail. If you see love fail, check if the characteristics of love mentioned above are applied and upheld.

Check if you are making adequate effort in maintaining consistency in the application and upholding of the characteristics of love. Check if you have considered love to be more than a feeling but a decision that needs to be worked on in order to ensure its success. It is very easy to think of yourself as in love and it requires effort for you to apply and uphold the characteristics of love in your relationship. When you make adequate and consistent effort in your relationship, you will come to the realization that love never fails.

I would love to hear your thoughts, comments and feedback as well as relationship topics you would like to have covered. You may send these to [email protected] or to +263775978857. Keep safe and be blessed.