Mr Bones urges men to speak out

Mkhululi Ncube, [email protected]

RHUMBA musician Mxolisi “Mr Bones” Ndlovu has urged men to speak out when facing challenges instead of dying in silence.

Mr Bones who has lost two male band members in a year with the latest being buried this past weekend in Plumtree said men are socialised in a wrong way which makes them fail to deal with pain.

He was speaking live on his Facebook page last night where he poured his heart in an emotionally charged session.

“This latest death taught me a lot of things hence my appeal earlier that men must watch this live broadcast. Most men, when they have problems, do not talk. Growing up in rural areas, we were sent to herd cattle and while there, we were made to fight and when you would come home would not open up. Instead, you would just deal with the wounds of the fight.

“There are many things we were supposed to be taught by our elders and this was not done and as a result, we are failing to deal with pain in our hearts.

“As men, we seem to be able to deal with the pain that is visible like wounds on our bodies, but not pain from the heart. No one cares about teaching the boy child these days. Look what happens when we get married, when you tell your parents or relatives that you want to get married, they only ask you how much you have and tell you it is not right to stay with a wife you have not paid lobola for and nothing more. Our uncles or aunts do not sit us down to educate us on how to deal with marriage,” said the gifted vocalist.

Mr Bones said society is more focused on raising the girl child, in the process, leaving the boy child behind which is creating a problem in society.

He said as a result, men end up taking drugs and alcohol as a way of dealing with problems.

“Some resort to abusing alcohol as a result. We have many cases of men killing their wives after which they also commit suicide. What is happening to us men is painful, but I urge all my brothers to please open up to your elders when you have problems.

“Someone will advise you on how to cope with the problem which can help you to change your mind. I feel we must be educated in all the stages: boyhood, teenagehood and finally when we become adults. Others are impregnating girls at a young age because we are left alone,” said Mr Bones.

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