Online Reporter
Mudzimba
Dr Rebecca Chisamba
Dear Amai, I am a 24-year-old woman sharing a two-bedroom house with a former college friend. We share the kitchen and lounge, and we split basic groceries evenly every month.
We get along very well, but my concern is that some of my friend’s family members are constantly visiting.
Some even overstay and during this time, our personal space and food supply are compromised.
What hurts most is that my friend does not seem to notice this inconvenience.
I am really bothered by it, but I do not know how to tackle the matter. Please help.
Response
Hello and thanks for reaching out. Communication is the key that opens many doors.
If you do not communicate, you leave a lot unsaid.
Your friend is not a stranger; you reside in the same house and have a shared history.
Sit down as housemates and iron out all of these issues.
You contribute towards food, so it is only fair for her to add more to the grocery bill, considering her guests are always there.
Speaking out will help mend your relationship and clear the air. I wish you all the best.
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Landlady is a hoarder
Hello, I hope this message finds you well. I am a married woman with two children, and my family is one of two renting a cottage in a high-density suburb.
The landlady and her family live in the main house, but her behaviour is quite concerning.
Every monthend, each tenant is required to provide floor polish for the verandah and windowsills, along with bathroom detergents meant for cleaning the shared bathrooms. However, when we want to clean, we are not given access to the supplies we purchased.
What happens to these provisions? Is she hoarding them? As lodgers, how can we address this and be heard without risking eviction?
Response
I am very well; thanks for enquiring. I can tell that you do not have a lease in place. It is a must to ask for it before you take up residency. The lease is like a constitution; it governs everything that is expected of both the tenant and property owner.
Many people are taken advantage of because they have nothing in writing.
Call for a meeting and suggest that a lease be drawn up to help govern property affairs.
Get your roommates to buy into it as well.
My follow-up question is: Why does the landlady need to receive provisions from you?
If you and the other family are duty-bound to keep the cottage clean, then that is all you must do to uphold your end of the bargain. I would be happy to hear from you again.
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Wife refuses to further her studies
Amai, makadii? I married my childhood sweetheart and we are very happy.
We are blessed with three sons. I have a degree and she holds an Ordinary Level certificate.
She is a very intelligent woman. I promised to help her further her education before we tied the knot and she was agreeable.
However, she has now lost interest. She says house chores and looking after the kids are her priority.
I want to start my master’s degree and I feel she is not pushing herself. This is for her own good.
How can I persuade her?
Response
Ndiripo zvangu. Makadiiwo imi? It is refreshing to hear of a happy marriage.
I agree with you: Education is of great importance because it opens many doors in life.
Since you are starting your master’s degree, ask her to be your study partner. It is romantic and gets her involved in helping you do your schoolwork. Try going to the library and doing your assignments together — quality time with a twist. It is meant to inspire.
Try and befriend other couples who are doing the same. You catch more flies using honey.
Do not sell her the idea straight up; let her experience it first. I wish you all the best.
Feedback: beckychisamba @gmail.com
