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Fadzayi Maposah, Correspondent
The girl smiled as I sat next to her.
I greeted her and she smiled back.
Since the meeting had not started, I took out my phone to read messages and catch up on e-mails. The girl moved a bit closer to me. She peered shyly at my phone. I looked at her and she moved a bit back.
“My name is Tanatswa,” she said.
I introduced myself as Aunty Faa, the name that I use when interacting with young people.
I think she liked the name because she smiled again. Tanatswa said she liked my phone.
I thanked her and told her it was a present. She then asked if the person who had given me the phone could not give her one as well. I told her, I could not promise anything.
Tanatswa said she really wanted a phone that could take nice pictures, make clear calls, store good music and have good games that she could enjoy in her free time.
I told her that unfortunately that I was not a games person and as a result there were no games in my phone.
She asked about the pictures in my phone and I shared that I had many pictures and was happy with the quality of the pictures. She asked if she could see the pictures.
As I moved so she could take a look at the pictures, a woman came behind us and said; “Tanatswa usanetsa Gogo” (Tanatswa do not bother grandmother).
I have come to accept the title grandmother given the grey hair that I have!
I used to be bothered by being called muchembere (old one) or grandmother until I reached a point of acceptance. During the denial days, I would share stories about premature aging!
In this case, it was Tanatswa who came to my rescue explaining that I was not Gogo but that my name is Aunty Faa.
The lady then rephrased her statement to, Tanatswa usanetsa Aunty Faa( Tanatswa do not bother Aunty Faa).
After that she introduced herself as Tanatswa’s mother and informed me that her daughter loved gadgets.
As soon as she had said that Tanatswa switched her attention from the phone which was still in my hand to the wrist watch that I wore.
She asked if it was a present too. When I smiled told her I had bought it myself, she smiled and then said gently she was happy that I had bought something for myself.
I smiled; she was free to speak her mind. She invited her mother to join us. Tanatswa decided to sit in the middle with her mother on one side and me on the other side.
By the time the meeting began, Tanatswa and I had developed an aunt-niece relationship and I had received information that she was ready to receive the presents that her mother had told her would be available on the day.
She was looking forward to meeting other girls but the highlight for the day would be receiving the presents.
I just hoped that she would not be disappointed when she get the presents.
I had an idea of what the presents could be and I asked her mother if she had told her the type of presents that would be received. Tanatswa mother confessed that she had just shared with her here would be presents as a way to encourage her to quickly prepare for the meeting.
When the music started playing on the public address, Tanatswa joined the other young girls on the dance floor.
As we sat together, Tanatswa’s mother and I watched the energy that the girls exhibited. The mother said it was not easy raising a child with a disability.
Tanatswa has a mental incapacitation. She had also reached puberty and had started menstruation.
When the meeting started, the girls were taken to a separate room where a lady who led them in various activities while their mothers and caregivers had discussions regarding how they were handling menstrual health issues for their children and dependants who have a disability.
I know in the past I have described my personal experiences regarding menstrual period pain with such dramatic detail. What I can say after this meeting, I will not complain.
The stories that the mothers and caregivers shared were not only sad but also harrowing.
The mothers and caregivers who are still having their monthly periods, have to manage their own period and then the period of their children or those under their care who cannot do it for themselves.
In their different forms of disability, the young girls are at various capacities regarding what they can do for themselves. While others may need minimal assistance, others need a lot, more which includes being bathed, having the sanitary ware put in place and removed when it is time to do so.
While other young girls can understand what is explained to them regarding menstrual health others do not fully understand that it should be a private moment and then go ahead to tell others who in the process may be shocked by getting such news.
Some caregivers shared how their children felt that the sanitary ware was uncomfortable and would just remove it waking up to spoilt linen that would add to the chores that had to be done.
Mothers shared that when they used re-usable pads, they had to wash for their children just to be sure that it was done properly to reduce infections.
When a mother wanted to visit once a child was on a period, the visit would have to be postponed until the period ended. Today I salute Tanatswa’s mother and other mothers and caregivers having to carry their own menstrual period and that of the children who cannot do it for themselves.
Online Reporter