New breed of dads is born

 

Bongani Masuku with his daughter Thandisha Faith at a salon in the city centre

Vaidah Mashangwa
THE downturn in the economy which has seen the closing down of most industries, has led to more and more women assisting in the welfare of the family not only in Zimbabwe but worldwide. The most affected sectors were the manufacturing, construction and finance which were mainly dominated by men. Most women were and are employed in the teaching, nursing and do clerical work. They have assumed the breadwinner role.
Women have also taken up careers that were predominantly a preserve for men, for example, engineering, politics, piloting, arts, sports and culture. Technology has also made it possible for women to have time to study and contribute to society in a number of ways. Apart from that, due to use of contraceptives, women have been accorded the chance to pursue careers without fears of falling pregnant as this usually interferes with their plans.

According to research, in 1940 only 15 percent of married women worked for pay and today more than 54 percent of married women have paying jobs and many people have wondered whether financially stable women are a threat or a relief to husbands. Of late more and more men are demanding maintenance from their wives a thing that was unheard of in the past. It seems therefore that the time women were expected to holdfast the domestic domain is fading away and more and more men are assisting in household work as more women spend their time away from home than ever before.

This scenario has therefore forced both traditional and modern men to reconsider their roles in the family. In the Zimbabwean context the traditional men unlike the modern men have developed an uderstanding in terms of exactly what their roles should be in line with these changes. The traditionalist would be happier if their status quo was maintained.

In terms of housework though, 80 percent of the work is still being done by women and as a result, most working mothers complain of lack of sleep and no time for leisure. As a result of this shift, some men have assumed the role of primary care givers especially during the absence of the mother. Some people have highlighted that this has a negative effect on the upbringing of children. Some men also find it awkward when all of sudden they are left home alone with the maid. Many men usually end up taking advantage of the situation and end up sleeping with the maids.

This writer caught up with Bongani Masuku in a beauty salon called Art and Beauty in the city centre where he had brought his daughter Thandisha Faith to have her hair plaited. Fascinated by this change of roles by some dads, the writer had to ask this great man how he manages such tasks. As the writer continued with the discussion, Masuku was taking pictures of his daughter, chatting with her all the way and sending the pictures to her mother via WhatsApp. At one point Masuku went out to buy some food for Faith as hairdresser Eliza continued to plait her. He literally sat beside his daughter up to the end and continued chatting and asking the daughter some questions. How many dads out  there can do the same, worse off for a girl?

While all this was going on I thought that the daughter was a first born child only to learn that she was a second born child, the first one being a boy. Studies have also revealed that working fathers spend at least one hour on an average work day with their children who are under 13 years but older fathers aged 29 to 42 years spend slightly over 3 hours with their children.

Nowadays men are also taking more responsibilities in child care arrangements as they send and collect children from school and after sporting activities. At times they also attend the prize giving days. In an interview that was conducted, 49 percent of men said that they take part in child care responsibilities.

It has become more socially accepted for men to say they assist in cooking and cleaning than before. The traditional norms and beliefs however still exist with some men especially in the African context vowing never to assist in household chores as this might undermine their authority as heads of families. Such roles are not easily accepted and some conflict may arise between the daughter-in law and the mother-in-law and the rest of the relatives.

Research has shown that education and social class are very important factors in fathering roles. Less educated fathers who are at the lower rung of the social ladder have been found to participate less in household chores. Nowadays it is not unusual to see a man shopping for groceries or taking a toddler or older children for a walk or going to the park. More men are spending time with their children than in the past. It is also widely believed that fathers tend to have more control over sons than daughters while mothers control girls better. The more the children are in the family, the more the authoritarian the father is and the less he communicates with the children. Lower-class fathers tend to use physical punishment when dealing with the children’s behaviour.

There is a belief by some contenders that families are disintegrating due to this attempt to share roles between the father and the mother but some maintain that it is only a response to modernisation. The other reason is that the traditional family was a rural family but nowadays there are more urban families who live in an industrialised, cosmopolitan and open society where there is access to information and couples tend to adjust early to changing environments. This has made the traditional system obsolete.

Actually today’s families are bound more by affection not by submission. It is mostly in rural set-ups where traditional views on gender roles are still abound. A mother-in–law who stays in the rural area might be surprised to see her son cooking while the reaction might be different from a mother-in-law who stays in town. Men should be educated about the nature and benefits of the changing roles and copy Masuku is a good example of a great dad.

Vaidah Mashangwa is the Provincial Development Officer, Ministry of Women Affairs, Gender and Community Development for Bulawayo Province. She can be contacted on 0772111592.
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