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Veronica Gwaze
REMEMBER Mai Denzel, the Harare woman who became an instant social media sensation last year after being exposed for infidelity?
Apparently, her explicit videos and pictures were leaked to Baba Denzel by one of her former lovers.
An outraged Baba Denzel then shared the explicit content on social media, publicly exposing and shaming his wife.
However, days later, the couple reportedly resolved their issues and reconciled.
Not long after that, a student from a local university recorded a video exposing her boyfriend’s cheating.
But a few days later, the two had reconciled and were posting pictures of themselves enjoying quality time.
Early this month, Nancy Mhundwa’s husband, Pastor Marvin Mhundwa, took to social media, accusing Kadoma Mayor Councillor Nigel Ruzariro of wrecking his marriage.
Nancy admitted to having an improper relationship with the mayor, whom she claims had used and abandoned her after their adulterous affair.
“I regret everything,” Nancy said in an interview with one of our sister papers.
“I feel sorry for my husband. He is a good man, but I failed him.”
These are just but a few examples of couples who are trying to navigate their relationships in an era where social media has become the dominant force in human interactions.
Unfortunately, digital footprints are nearly impossible to erase, and once intimate details are shared on the bottomless and vast expanse of the internet, they not only become viral but permanent as well.
And, in one way or the other, this might affect the couple’s children, relatives and friends.
Children, especially those of schoolgoing age, often become silent victims.
They may be teased by friends and relatives, which can negatively impact their psychological well-being and potentially lead to juvenile delinquency.
It is undoubtedly traumatic for a child to see their parents’ intimate images or videos posted all over social media.
It is widely believed that such situations can force a child into drug and substance abuse as they attempt to cope with the embarrassment, while others may even consider harming themselves.
Manunura Primary School teacher Joice Mudzviti argues that access to social media is making it easy for content to reach minors, who are often emotionally weak.
“We have had countless situations in schools where children face a backlash due to unfiltered social media content involving their parents and relatives,” she said.
“The children become withdrawn and even lack concentration in class, so we often counsel and rehabilitate them.”
Low self-esteem
Regionally, social media and news outlets frequently report on revenge pornography.
While some couples may reconcile and remove the damaging posts, others may continue to harass their exes.
In fact, social media is now being used by some as a weapon to spite former lovers.
Even some celebrities and socialites struggle to separate their public and private lives. As a result, their lives often play out on social media platforms, which seem to naturally complicate their relationships.
In 2022, Radio DJ Tafadzwa “Shugeta” Beni and his girlfriend of three years, Anna Honde, made headlines when they broke up.
This was not the first time they had parted ways.
Honde had previously rejected Beni’s marriage proposal, leading to a temporary separation.
Despite sharing details of their relationship on social media, their reunion was short-lived.
Prominent celebrity couple Olinda Chapel and Tytan Nkomo frequently used Facebook and Instagram to expose their troubled marriage.
The couple would publicly separate and then reconcile.
The controversy surrounding their actions sparked speculation and divided opinion.
Psychologist and marriage counsellor Dr Nisbert Mangoro said posting relationship and personal issues on social media can be attributed to attention-seeking behaviour.
He suggests this can be a way for some individuals to seek validation, sympathy or reactions from their social networks.
“In many cases, receiving positive feedback from followers can make people feel better,” he said.
Most people who post about their relationships, he added, are insecure about their partners’ feelings.
“When they post, it may be a sign that they need external validation to feel loved and cared for by their partner.
“Additionally, people with anxious attachment styles tend to post about their relationships more often, perhaps to seek reassurance about their relationship.”
Psychologist Blessed Chinyangare believes most people expose challenges in their relationships on social media to find social support.
“Sharing difficulties publicly can be a way to seek support, advice or sympathy from followers,” he said.
“The interactive nature of social media allows people to get feedback and input from their network.”
Further, posting about personal problems can serve as a form of catharsis, allowing individuals to express their emotions and frustrations.
The lack of face-to-face interaction on social media may make it feel like a safer space.
Drama
But fans and followers often question the authenticity of content posted on social media.
While some cases are genuine, others are contrived to attract followers.
Africa University student Irene Mlambo says many people who post about their relationships on social media do so to manage impressions and perceptions.
“In some cases, people post selective dramatised versions of events to portray themselves in a certain light or garner sympathy from their audiences. For some, it is also a way to control how they are perceived online or simply to create a particular image for themselves,” she said.
Former Belvedere Teachers’ College student Sheila Mapako once found herself in a difficult situation.
Throughout her three-month relationship, she posted only positive experiences with her partner.
When she began to experience physical abuse, she felt pressured to continue sharing content of her positive experiences only.
After the relationship ended, she leaked some inappropriate pictures they had taken during good times.
“I was trying to get revenge for what he had done to me and also for the public to sympathise with me . . .
“Emotionally, keeping up with social media appearances is exhausting. People will always remember what you posted yesterday, so they will bring it up in the future, making you look like a victim in situations,” said Mapako.
Lack of boundaries
Apostolic Faith Mission pastors Michael and Judith Mbedzi opine that some individuals have poor judgement about what constitutes appropriate content to share on a public platform.
As a result, they may not fully understand or care about the consequences of revealing personal issues online.
The decision to share information on personal or relationship problems publicly on social media is a complex one, driven by a mix of psychological, social and behavioural factors.
“Understanding the underlying motivations can provide context, even if the actions themselves are not viewed as advisable by others,” Pastor Michael said.
“Also, airing issues on social media can indicate a lack of boundaries for those involved. Morally, some issues cannot and should not be shared publicly.”
The couple feels some people are forced to permanently separate from their partners to maintain the image they have portrayed to the public.
“When one exposes their problems publicly, it becomes difficult for them to reconcile later, which is why, in some cases, they can even commit suicide,” added Pastor Judith.
“Such actions also affect children and relatives, so people need to be careful about what they share.”
Medical doctors agree that the consequences of misusing social media can include losing sleep, high levels of stress and problems with self-esteem, as well as anxiety and depression.
General practitioner Dr Silas Ndlovu said exposure to social media can overstimulate the brain.
When the stimulation becomes excessive, he added, it can trigger pathways comparable to addiction.
“This addiction has also been linked to sleep problems, attention challenges and feelings of exclusion in youths, hence the urgent need for medical attention,” he said.
Criminal offence
Harare provincial police spokesperson Inspector Luckmore Chakanza said sharing intimate photographs or videos without the consent of the person in the visuals is a crime.
Criminalised under the amended Cyber and Data Protection Act, the offence attracts a five-year prison sentence.
“Issues of intentionally leaked photographs and videos have become common but, unfortunately, most ‘victims’ do not know that they can report to the police,” said Inspector Chakanza.
“It is an offence that can land one in jail, so people need to understand their rights and report such issues. Although there is the option of a Level 10 fine, those who forward or distribute the content can also face up to five years in prison, or both.”
Legal practitioner Grace Kurasha added: “It is illegal to share pictures and videos without the consent of the person in the content. One can approach the police and file a complaint, or they can sue . . .”
According to the Postal and Telecommunications Regulatory Authority (Potraz), intimate images and videos are considered personal information categorised as sensitive data under the Cyber and Data Protection Act.
The Act prohibits the collection, sharing and distribution of sensitive data without the consent of the data subject.
“The Cyber and Data Protection Act (Chapter 12:07), as read with Section 164E of the Criminal Law Codification and Reform Act (Chapter 9:07), prohibits the collection, transfer, sharing or broadcasting of intimate images or videos without the consent of the person concerned,” said Potraz director-general Dr Gift Machengete in a statement.
He urged the public to refrain from sharing private information illegally as it could result in legal consequences.
Tougher penalties for online abuse
SOUTH AFRICA joined a growing number of countries, including Israel, the United Kingdom, New Zealand and Japan, by criminalising the distribution of sexually explicit images or videos without someone’s consent.
This move is aimed at combating the harmful practice of “revenge porn”.
In 2019, President Cyril Ramaphosa signed amendments to the Films and Publications Bill into law, further strengthening penalties for hate speech, child pornography and revenge porn.
Revenge porn refers to the sharing or distribution of intimate images or videos without the individual’s permission, often with the intent to humiliate or retaliate.
Under the new laws, victims can now file criminal charges against anyone who distributes such material on social media, through text messages or on pornographic websites.
Perpetrators found guilty of sharing or distributing revenge porn face potential imprisonment or fines.
If the victim cannot be identified in the content, the perpetrator could face two years in jail and/or pay a fine of up to R150 000.
However, if the victim can be identified in any way, the perpetrator could spend four years in prison and/or pay up to R300 000.
South Africa has become increasingly strict regarding online content.
The country’s Cyber Crimes and Cyber Security Bill, as well as the Prevention of Combating of Hate Crimes and Hate Speech laws, criminalise the dissemination of harmful or bigoted messages online.
Elsewhere, in 2023, a landmark case in St Vincent and the Grenadines saw a 23-year-old man become the first person prosecuted under the country’s cybercrime law, enacted in 2016.
The man was fined for sharing nude photos of his ex-girlfriend, an 18-year-old nursing student, with her classmates on WhatsApp.
He pleaded guilty to a violation of privacy, specifically for intentionally and unlawfully transmitting images and videos of the student without her consent.
The couple had reportedly ended their relationship in January 2023.
The complainant visited the man’s residence to retrieve her belongings, but he confiscated her phone for two weeks.
During this time, he forwarded her nude photos to her class chat.
The magistrate ordered the man to pay a fine of EC$1 000 (approximately US$ 370.37) within a month or face three months in prison.
In Ghana last year, a man was sentenced to three years in jail for sharing naked pictures of his ex-girlfriend with his friends and on social media.
The convict, Joshua Asiedu (49), based in Odorkor, was ordered to pay his 19-year-old ex GH¢10 000 (about US$640).
The monetary compensation was meant to cover the pain and emotional stress caused to the young woman after he was found guilty of non-consensual sharing of intimate images by an Accra circuit court.
Gorai police in India arrested a 21-year-old man for allegedly uploading nude photos of his 20-year-old ex-girlfriend on social media in 2019.
The two attended the same school.
“The couple got into a fight and the woman decided to end the relationship,” said the police.
“The accused had access to her social media accounts and uploaded the photos online, resulting in the complainant approaching the police, leading to the accused’ s arrest.”
Prince Teye of Ghana was sentenced to 36 months in prison for allegedly posting his ex-girlfriend’s nude photographs on social media. Teye engaged in the act after being intimate with the 22-year-old victim, a former student of the Yilo Krobo Senior High School, during which he took videos and pictures of the act. — Wires
Online Reporter