Vusumuzi Dube
Today the world comes together to commemorate Father’s Day; an annual celebration that is dedicated to honouring and appreciating the father figures in our lives, for their invaluable role in raising families and society as a whole.
Father’s Day is a time to show love and affection for the men who selflessly dedicate their lives to their children and their families. As we celebrate this year, let’s remember the importance of having a father who prioritises his mental health for his benefit and for the well-being of his family, because there is an enormous responsibility that comes with being a good father.
It is also true that men have not been socialised to freely discuss the stresses and pressures that they experience as they take up the gender roles and expectations associated with fatherhood. This naturally makes it less likely for them to share their struggles and they often suffer mental health issues. In our culture men are often not encouraged to talk about or even identify their emotions. Mental health problems are also stigmatised and men see them as a sign of weakness.
Tips on how to support your fathers’ mental health this year.
Be available: Many men have limited support networks especially as they get older. Make a call, text and pay your father a visit when you can. Social isolation can contribute to mental problems or make them worse.
Talk about mental health issues: Choose the right time and place to talk to your father about his mood and mental health. It can help to chat while you’re doing some activity together e.g. over lunch.
Comment on the process: You could comment on your observation and find out what could be going on about his mood swings, anxiety or restless and then create a space for him to fill in the details.
Build a rapport: Don’t overwhelm your father with questions. Instead, make it clear that you are there to help and do not be judgemental.
Be specific on how you wish to help: If your father seems stressed, offer to take him to a doctor, help with chores and do other practical things.
Normalise therapy: Many men think therapy means lying on a couch, sharing their most private thoughts. In fact, many types of modern therapy are based around finding practical solutions to everyday problems. If you have been to therapy, or have a friend or family member who has benefited from it, share that experience with your dad.
Point out that getting help is a sign of strength: Unfortunately, old-fashioned social norms have taught many men that going to therapy is a sign of weakness. It can help to point out that by seeking help, he’s doing what he needs to do to stay strong enough to take care of his loved ones.
A mentally healthy father is more present with his children, happier at home and a more supportive partner.
n Compiled by: Kahle Counselling Hub – Your Mental Health is our Priority
Online Reporter