Chronicle Editor
Robin Muchetu, Senior Reporter
AS the country commemorates the 16 days of activism against gender based violence, Lwazi Moyo* relives her abusive marriage that left physical and emotional scars in her life with tears effortlessly flowing down her cheeks.
Her dreams of having a happy marriage and be a perfect mother to her children and a loving companion to her husband never materialised. Being a victim of stepmother abuse herself, she thought she would be the best version of a mother to her children.
She says marriage was an escape from the stepmother and she never wanted her children to live under the same circumstances but fate would have none of that.
“I got married in 2006 not because I wanted to. It was an escape from my stepmother. It however, became the proverbial jumping from the frying pan into the fire. The situation was tense. I watched my dream for a happy family drowning. I had no peace. I couldn’t stand the abusive marriage and I decided to leave,” she said.
The marriage was blessed with two children and with her A’ Level certificate, she decided to apply for an Environmental Health Technician course after speaking to a colleague about her marital problems.
“My friend assisted me to get the application done and I was successful and completed the course. All was well then because I was getting a bit of some money during the training. Then my then husband had an affair with a law enforcement officer. He would beat me up, telling me that I am useless and that there were other women who were better than me. He finally dragged me out of the home soon after training. He took the children but because I loved them I took them by force and took care of them, I was struggling on my own as I was unemployed,” said Lwazi.
She sought temporary jobs at mines and other places and that kept her going.
“I was lucky to be employed by a large textile manufacturing company in 2019 although it was temporary so I moved away from Bulawayo to take up the new job in Chiredzi. It was difficult to transfer my children from Bulawayo. I was forced to surrender them to their father,” she said.
Her troubles mounted as her children were then open to abuse.
“My children were now being abused and I made a report to the Victim Friendly Unit of the police so that they could assist me. I also engaged Childline so that they could go and check on my children. They did and gave a warning to their stepmother. My contract ended during the first lockdown last year and I was homeless once again. I had to live with a friend in Kadoma and things were tough. I eventually left that place as the landlord was uncomfortable with my friend staying with me,” she said.
She returned to Bulawayo after she had applied to the Ministry of Health and Child Care from where she was posted to the mining town of Hwange.
“I checked on my children first and I realised the young one was limping from the beatings by her stepmother with a switch and I went to the police to make a report despite pleas from my former husband to stop me.”
She however, said the ruling on the case was postponed to 30 November 2021. She said when all that was happening, she was a third year student at Bindura University of Science Education and had to get tuition assistance from the war veterans offices as her father was a war veteran.
“I was lucky I completed my degree programme. I had no money but had to attend court sessions regularly to understand what had happened to my daughter. I also studied Risk and Security with the Chartered Institute of Risk and Security Management but I failed to get the transcript because I have not cleared US$500 that I owe. I passed all levels and most mines require the qualification but I cannot be employed as I do not have the certificate,” she narrated.
In terms of accommodation, she was taken in by Mrs Thobekile Khumalo, the co-founder of the Haven Trust where survivors of GBV live. She met other women there who also had sad stories of abuse and they encouraged each other.
“It wasn’t easy being there, I stayed there in July and August 2021. I wanted to be with my children but I was struggling. I could only take one that I was staying with at the shelter. I was glad to be housed there as I was homeless. When I got employed at the Ministry of Health, I committed my first salary to buying toiletries for the women and children who are housed there. I wish we could secure funding for this home which has fowl runs and space for a garden so that the women there can fend for themselves. There is a water reservoir that can be used.
“While I was there, I learnt a lot, communication skills, how to relate with others and I also discovered that I was not alone, there were other women who had gone through abuse like me who even have worse stories to tell. I am forever grateful for the help I got there,” she added.
She said if she had been denied the chance to live at the shelter, she said she could have been living in the streets with her young children.
“My advice to women who are victims of GBV is that they should not tire in efforts to improve their lives. I am ready to work and support my children and other women who are in the same predicament as I was in. I am constantly reminded of where I came from and the help I got from the Haven trust. I will stand for all women out there who are survivors of GBV and those that are undergoing abuse,” said Lwazi.
To young girls, her advice is that they should pursue education and empower themselves economically as marriage has never been a profession.
Statistics have shown that gender-based violence in Zimbabwe has been compounded by the Covid-19 pandemic and the protracted national lockdowns. The Covid-19 crisis has also resulted in increased school dropouts, resulting in increased child marriages and a consequent alarming increase in teenage pregnancies.
The 16 days of activism against GBV started last week Thursday. The days were set aside to campaign against violence against women and girls. -@NyembeziMu
Bongani Ndlovu
Online Reporter