Online Reporter
Tendai Gukutikwa
Post Reporter
IN an era of money bouquets, dancing mascots, red dresses and where lovers go over and above with grand gestures and curated Instagram moments – Valentine’s Day can feel like a parade designed strictly for two.
Over this week, restaurants have filled up, red roses tripled in price as mascots get ready to deliver them for a fee across the city.
Today (Friday), social media timelines have already turned crimson with coordinated outfits pictures and carefully worded tributes as people get ready for Valentine’s Day tomorrow.
And somewhere between the heart-shaped chocolates and surprise proposals, an unspoken narrative lingers, that to be single on Valentine’s Day is to be lacking. But is it?
For 62-year-old Ms Grace Tapfumaneyi, Valentine’s Day is neither a spectacle nor a symbol of deficiency.
It is a quiet space where memory and gratitude meet.
Widowed several years ago, she approaches February 14 with a tenderness shaped by love and loss.
“My late husband was romantic. He would buy me red roses, red dresses and other gifts around this time of the year. I never lacked when it came to love. These days, when the day approaches, I miss him so much because other women will be talking about how their husbands and partners buy them these different gifts,” she said softly.
“My children try to surprise me mostly with flowers, dinner and little gifts. I appreciate it, but his love exceeded all. While I miss him daily, around Valentine’s Day, I miss him more,” she said.
Asked how she approaches Valentine’s Day given her loss, Ms Tapfumaneyi paused before answering: “I approach it gently. I allow myself to feel whatever comes. Sometimes I light a candle. Sometimes I look at old photos. I do not try to run away from the memories,” she said.
For her, the day is undeniably a reminder of happier moments.
“It reminds me that I was well loved. That is something many people never experience. To other single, divorced or widowed people, I advise them to hang in there, do not be lonely, you are not alone. Being single is not a curse, it is something that has always been there, and will always be there, and can also be your own valentine. Your parents, friends, siblings can all be your valentines,” she said.
She admitted that people sometimes treat her differently on Valentine’s Day.
“Some become overly sympathetic. They assume I must be miserable. But I am not miserable. I am human. I have loved, and I have lost. There is dignity in that,” she said.
If Ms Tapfumaneyi’s Valentine’s Day is shaped by remembrance, Mr Leon Nyoni (29)’s is defined by choice.
A young professional immersed in deadlines, he laughed when asked about his plans for February 14.
“I will probably be watching movies. Maybe order some good food. I have got deadlines next week anyway, so I will start working on that stuff on Valentine’s Day, because I will have more time since everyone else will be busy with their own plans,” he said.
He is single, and unbothered by it. He, however, is keenly aware of the societal pressure that intensifies around this time of year.
“There is this unspoken idea that if you are single on Valentine’s Day, you have somehow failed. It is in the jokes, the pity, the constant ‘So, who is your Valentine?’ questions. I have made myself content with who I am right now, I will not be pressured to have a valentine when I know that I have other goals that need to be fulfilled,” he said, adding that much of the pressure is manufactured.
“Social media makes it worse. It becomes a competition, who got the biggest bouquet, who had the most expensive dinner, who had a mascot deliver their flower bouquet? But that does not mean those people are happier than us who are single,” he said, adding that spending the day alone won’t feel like a loss to him.
“I actually enjoy the peace. No expectations, pressure to impress anyone. Just me, relaxing,” he admitted.
When asked whether being single has perks, especially on a day like Valentine’s Day, he did not hesitate to respond.
“Yes, one of them, which is the major one actually is financial freedom. Emotional freedom too is a perk. I am in love with my job right now and I am building something that matters to me,” he said.
For him, fulfillment is not postponed until partnership arrives.
“I think the idea that you need a partner to make Valentine’s Day special is more of a marketing strategy than a life principle. If you need another person to validate your happiness for one day, that’s something to examine,” he said.
His words echo a broader truth that often gets drowned out by the commercial hum of the season – love is expansive, and does not belong exclusively to couples.
In an interview, Pastor Munyaradzi Katandika of Jabula Covenant Life Ministries reflected on this narrowing of meaning.
“Love is bigger than romance. It includes friendship, family, service, community. When we reduce Valentine’s Day to couples only, we unintentionally exclude many people. Valentine’s Day is basically a celebration of love, and it does not have to matter who you celebrate it with. Single people should not feel the pressure that they are incomplete because they do not have the significant other,” he said, adding that contentment is not second best.
“Being single is not a curse. It can be a season of growth, clarity, and purpose. Marriage is honourable, yes, but so is wholeness as an individual. People should know that being alone and being lonely are two different things. Alone can mean all-in-one. And you can be complete without being with someone else,” he said firmly, further encouraging people to widen their gestures of affection, check on widows, invite single friends over for dinner, visit elderly relatives, or reconcile strained relationships.
“Instead of asking, ‘Who is my Valentine?’ perhaps we should ask, ‘Who can I show love to today? In the end, Valentine’s Day reveals less about relationship status and more about perspective. Faith traditions remind us that love, at its core, is generous and inclusive,” he said.
The bouquets will continue to bloom each February 14.
The dancing mascots will keep entertaining crowds. Social media will overflow with glittering declarations but beyond the spectacle lies a quieter, steadier truth, being single is not a curse, verdict or deficiency. It is simply one way of being human.
According to Pastor Katandika, perhaps in this era of extravagant gestures, the most radical act is to recognise that love does not belong only to two – it lives in memory.
“It thrives in ambition, rests in community and exists, fully and meaningfully even in a party of one,” he said.
