Chronicle Editor
Nhlalwenhle Ncube
WHEN two people decide to come together, there is a promise of togetherness and it also entails having each other’s back at all times. This means that no matter the circumstances, their love must not be shaken.
Unfortunately with time, one party gets to realise that she/he is the only one giving it all and making sacrifices to keep the relationship alive.
It’s so heartbreaking to be in that kind of union as you also get to realise that the relationship has become a burden to you.
The relationship or marriage must not be a burden because it’s not a social contract or business deal. For the love of ‘‘universe’’ and yourself, do not torture and burden yourself with a loveless relationship. Being loved is a need and to make it worse, when you decide to stick to someone, that is all you need, not problems which will be torturing your soul.
Everyone is aware that love is patient, love is kind. But it must not be torture or a burden. Despite giving your all, then you at times find it illusive. Bear in mind that you do not have any problem, but your partner needs deliverance because he has to give it back. It is sad to discover that your desire to lock love in and guarantee its presence is like trying to hold mist in your hands or to catch a cloud and pin it down.
People who do not give back love are the ones who turn it to be someone’s burden. At times it’s so difficult to understand how some people think. The same people who pray, negotiate and beg for love when the opportunity to love is finally offered, they then take it for granted and never give it back. They then see the other party as a burden.
Truth be told, love is anything, it is a fruit that tastes both bitter and sweet. It is tough to swallow and it is exquisitely satiating. And love is the only thing that can save us.
Love is a willingness to stand in the fire of life and not shrink back; it’s not running away when unexpected events happen in life. And it turns out, if you are out of integrity in any areas of your life with regard to love, then it will bleed over into every other area of your life. Because love is something that comes from within, it’s a perspective and an action.
You must also bear in mind that love is so messy and sometimes dark, and always it makes you feel more alive when you are in it. Being loving is not all chocolates and roses.
It’s about duality, pain and pleasure, confusion and understanding. It’s about sitting in the not-knowing, the mystery and allowing your heart to stay open to the highest possibilities.
Having said all this about love and the pain attached to it, please note that it was not meant to be a burden. There will always be good and bad times, but the minute you realise that there is not even a minute of joy in yours, then know that things are bad.
In some relationships where love has turned out to be a burden you find that there is no communication, you begin to live like strangers. Each person does his or her thing. You begin to live in fear as you are not sure what your partner is up to and some even sleep with one eye open.
Insults and sorrow also become part of your life.
A loveless marriage is not something for keeps and you are definitely not going to keep dragging yourself like a tired horse with no energy left to run, but will still run for the love of his owner.
And, it is so freaking true, every individual deserves to be loved and experience love too. Not in million years will this one aspect change, for love is all there is and it alone is the truth, to survive, to keep going in life!
This said think about yourself, become selfish and let love seep in your life. It can only happen when you allow the old to be replaced and accept your situation with an open heart. Nobody will do it for you except for you.
If things are really bad and you have given it your best without getting any positive results then have mercy on yourself and get out of it. You were meant to do wonderful things in life rather than waste yourself in a loveless marriage. Not all unions are made in Heaven!
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Online Reporter