Online Reporter
Dear Kusimba,
I have decided that I should just write you a letter. I have so much to say and I have no idea how much time we should allocate to the discussion.
Then also at the back of my mind, I know that when it comes to talking, I may lose control of the discussion! So through the letter, I am able to steer the discussion the way I would want it to go. Please forgive me for bullying you. I am sure that already you have forgiven me.
As I write, I am trying to picture your face as you read this letter. One thing I know that this letter will take you down memory lane, when letter writing was our thing. Each time we thought of one another, we would write to each other. I remember how we would exchange bundles of letters with the date and time it was written. Today my lunch time (which you very well know, I dedicate to an afternoon nap) is to write a letter to one man who when the story of my life is told, will automatically come up and span over many years and many events — happy and sad ones — we thought would break us. Events that made us stronger and showed us aspects of our characters that we never knew existed.
I have quickly eaten my fruits that are my lunch so that I write this letter. Of course Kusi, a banana is one of the fruits that I had. A banana remains my favourite fruit.
I also had your favourite fruit, the one that is deemed to keep the doctor away. This letter is not a dedication to fruits! I see your eyes widen as you wonder what it is all about.
It is my dedication to you, to the man that you are. I value you and even if given another chance, I would choose you again. If you were put in a pool of men in a very dark room and I could not locate you, I would wait until you started talking and follow that voice that is so familiar.
Kusimba. Your name says it all. You are strong and through you, many have also become strong. That strength that appears like a second nature has contributed to bravery that we never knew existed within some people who now are able to go forward with their lives. I know that you have had moments that you have been discouraged too, and waking up each day has been difficult as you thought that the odds were against you. The fact that you continue to wake up and face the world despite the challenges leaves me in awe.
I need to thank you and in the same vein simply celebrate you for the way you managed to share your story at the family gathering. That was brilliant. That was courageous.
I remember that we had talked about letting the family know and you had assured me that you would find a way to tell them. As the family gathering proceeded, I wondered if you were engaging our kinsmen on the sidelines as individuals.
The whole family has always looked up to you and what you did on Sunday will always stand out as what happens when one is strong and also afraid at the same time. That in your different roles within the family, you were able to go to a level that included everyone is amazing.
I watched you as you danced with the nieces, nephews, cousins to old school music that they did not know, but it was an opportunity for them to dance with a man who when the family history is mentioned, his name will crop up. When the second song had ended and the youngsters wanted to play one of their favourites, you asked just for a moment. As you began by thanking your dancing partners who cheered as they were acknowledged, I realised that the moments following would hit differently emotionally.
Knowing you, I knew that your aim was to break the news in a gentle way. Afterwards you would be available to everyone who wanted to be with you. I know that afterward I hugged you close and we did not say anything, but still we spoke to each other, but writing this letter is part of healing for me too.
You let the family know that you are now diabetic in a matter of fact way. It came out simply. The looks on their faces expressed their concern. Kusimba? Diabetic? Then you seemed to answer that by how you proceeded to say that there was really outstanding that you had the condition making you one of about 537 million people globally with the condition.
It was possible that other family members have the condition as they had not been tested. A workplace programme had changed from not knowing to knowing the condition.
As I write this letter, I can see you in my mind explaining to the family the importance of going for routine testing and making use of any opportunities that present themselves.
The emphasis was for male family members to be more proactive. Telling the family that you were doing the very best to manage the condition and that given that you were on the fifth floor in terms of your age, you had also gone for prostate cancer screening.
While not everyone thought what you were doing was noble, you told them firmly that it had to be done. Better to know than to wonder what was wrong, and even cause family rifts by accusing each other of witchcraft.
As June folds, Men’s Health Month comes to an end, I salute you Kusimba and all you are doing to get men to be health conscious.
While you still have so many questions and wonder how you will manage your health, you continue to be a pillar of support for family members afraid to get tested because they have no idea how to deal with the results they may get. Knowing as you always say, helps manage situations so much better.
Continue encouraging others to take control of their health. I assure you of my support always. We will walk this part of our journey together. We will exercise together and be two health conscious buddies through and through.
With love always
Fadzi
P/S This letter comes with a pair of trainers and a cap, for our exercise routine!
