adminShort Story Thubelihle Wellington Ncube
I WISHED I could tell her . . . I pinned my hopes on becoming a popular character in school, to boost my ego. Did she love me or was I just in the friend zone? How was I to know what she thought? She rarely showed affection towards me, which always swept me off my feet.
She was the first to offer me a place to sit right beside her as a new comer.
I was shy. I couldn’t look her in the eyes, as she smiled asking me who I was and where I came from.
All these questions seemed too much on the first day. At least I managed to fool myself for a full year, telling myself she was not in love. At least we had just been friends, nothing more.
She kept staring at me as I wondered which word to say first because I did not know how to say it. For the past three years I had shared all my life experiences with her and I treasured her the most. Was it really going to matter even if she denied my proposal? I had always been her tear catcher. I was always a shoulder to lean on.
Sometimes I couldn’t fathom being just a shoulder, I wanted more. . . I hated the way she would look at the other boys, as she flicked her eyelashes. It dismantled my ego and made me feel less of a man. I had watched her sweep them off their feet but reject all their proposals.
I felt like a candle, special when darkness prevailed. The inner me was talking and I kept responding. I thought she was listening though I could tell that her eagerness meant she had never seen me trembling with shear shock and fright.
“Come on man, you can do it. You have the ability to actually get her if you want to.”
I could hear my already confused heart offering advice but that just seemed impossible.
“Listen to your heart; this is the time which you need to take my advice my friend. The thing is simple, you have to follow your heart — me. I know a lot of times I’ve always led you astray but this time you need to listen. The girl you are looking at is in love with you. Have you ever wondered why she flickers her flirtatious eyelashes when she sees you? Have you ever wondered why she cried when she heard that you had collapsed on sports day, as you tried to prove to her that you really loved her yet she acted as if she didn’t notice? Maybe it’s because you were unconscious but I wasn’t.
Do you ever wonder why she advised you to be baptised and later told you that she wanted to marry a devout Christian?”
I felt confused. I had never realised what my heart was telling me but it seemed far-fetched.
I wished I could believe it because it gave me some sort of comfort.
She had been good to me and the fact that we had finished our O-levels stated that I had to act. I was not worried about the last Maths paper because she had tutored me and her skills I found better than the teacher.
She broadens her smile and my heart leaps for joy.
“See I told you. Men of stamina are wanted. You are going to be a man soon and will you fail to make quick decisions.
“Listen to me, take her hand and don’t shift your eyes towards your goal. Tell her before she loses patience. You have just wasted three minutes and she is now wondering . . .”
“Yvette, do you still remember what I told you when we started writing these exams? We are parting maybe never to meet again. Today I’m going into this knowing what I’ll find. This time I’ve decided to follow my mind and abandon my heart. If there be pain, let it be. For at least I know that I did my best. I learnt a lot and as for you, I’ll never forget you.”
She jumped to hug me and for the last time she gave me one long lasting hug. I could feel her heartbeat on my chest. She could not let go. I felt some watery liquid flowing down my neck, she was crying. I reluctantly let her go.
“Don’t worry Ramon we will meet soon. I wish you the best in life.”
I hauled my trunk towards my father’s car. I just jumped inside and he took off!
There was a knock at our gate the next day. Two police officials entered and greeted and removed their hats. They asked my father who Ramon Adrian Millin was. I stood there wondering what I could have done.
“Do you know a person by the name Yvette Rose Adams?” I nod in agreement. They produced a booklet which she had used for the last time.
“She was writing you a letter and then their car plunged into a pool. We are sorry to say we lost her today in the morning. She requested that we give you this before she died,” said one of the officers.
They handed me the book. As I opened it I stumbled on the biography. I was classified as a boyfriend-to-be. As I turned through the pages I found the letter;
“For how long should I wait for you my love? I wish I could tell you but because of our morals I can’t. I could see you wanted to tell me that you feel the same but you failed.”
I grew weak then, all became bleak and black. I realised that reality is heavy. I moaned but there was nothing I could do now.
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