admin
Hi Sis Noe
I CHEATED on my husband while he was away. I got drunk at a party and ended up having sex with one of his friends. I want to confess to him. Is it a good idea? — Cheated.
Reply
I realise you feel awful but this is a matter that’s between you and your conscience. I understand that you were lonely without your husband, but alcohol is never an excuse for anything. Telling him will make you feel good but it could break him. It’s up to you to apologise or not to. But know this — apologising will most likely result in the end of your marriage.
Hi Sis Noe
I stole my friend’s boyfriend in 2013, but our relationship didn’t last long. I am feeling guilty for what I did. How can I say sorry? Is it late to say sorry? — Worried.
Reply
It is never too late to say sorry but in this case it could be best to let sleeping dogs lie. Finding your ex-friend to apologise could make you feel better, but would such a gesture make her feel better too? Is there no danger that you will open up old wounds and cause her more pain? We all do selfish things when we are young and you took her boyfriend because you were unhappy and unsatisfied with your love life. Forgive yourself and be grateful for everything you have now.
Hi Sis Noe
I am staying with my sister’s son who is in university. The problem I have with him is that he brings different girls every weekend and has sex with them. I told him to be committed to one girl but he told me he is too young to be serious. — Help.
Reply
It’s your house so your rules should prevail. You cannot allow him to bring different girls to your house — your house is not a love nest. You love him, I understand, but you cannot let him do what he wants. Be firm, if he wants to act like a man then he should find his own place.
Hi Sis Noe
My husband has been staying at home since he was fired from work two months ago while I go to work. Recently I came home and found him in bed with our neighbour. I am still angry with him but I want to forgive him because he said he will never do it again. Should I forgive him or move on? — Cheated.
Reply
I cannot tell you what to do, that’s a decision you have to make on your own. You have a right to divorce him and it’s your right to stay with him. You can forgive him if you want, it’s your right again. You should know that researchers in the USA found that men who are financially dependent on a female partner may feel inclined to stray because they feel emasculated. This is not an excuse — cheating is cheating — but I just want you to know what may have driven him to cheat. Maybe it was a mistake. Sit down and talk about it. Let the anger go, it will hurt you.
Hi Sis Noe
A few months ago, I got drunk and slept with my girlfriend’s best friend. I felt so guilty and I apologised but she is still angry. I have showered her with gifts and I have told her to cheat if that could make her feel better. I just can’t stand her crying and insulting me for what I did. What can I do to get her to forgive me? — Worried.
Reply
Two wrongs don’t make a right. If she cheats on you things will get worse and the relationship you have will break down. What made you sleep with your lover’s friend in the first place? Don’t tell me you were drunk because alcohol can never be an excuse. Have you two been drifting apart? You can only apologise and grovel for so long. This unfortunate incident took place a while ago, yet your partner is still raw and angry. Wouldn’t you be better off separating for some time so you can both calm down and think about the future? Yes, you behaved very badly, but if she can’t even contemplate an apology could it be that your relationship is never going to be the same again? Think about that. Maybe this relationship has run its course.
Hi Sis Noe
My long-term girlfriend says I am boring and not ambitious and she no longer wants to be in a full-time relationship. She told me she just wants sex from me but she doesn’t want me to see other people. What must I do? — Worried.
Reply
Now that’s cruel. Your heartless girlfriend will treat you any way she likes — if you let her. I suggest you start standing up for yourself before your confidence deserts you completely. Tell her that you are not prepared to indulge her ego — either you are a proper couple who love, respect and care for each other or you are gone. Do not allow her to use you as her sexual plaything or tell you how to live your life. I get the impression that this woman is someone who is used to stamping her foot and getting her own way. Unless you start stamping yours too, you will be her victim.
Hi Sis Noe
I am 20 and pregnant but I am now worried because I still am menstruating so I wanted to know if it is normal to be pregnant and still go on your periods? — Worried.
Reply
Pregnancy and periods can never go along simultaneously — if you are indeed pregnant. Technically, you cannot get your periods. Missing your period is actually the first sign of pregnancy. Bleeding in early pregnancy is a common occurrence, but this does not signal a true menstrual cycle. You must realise that the hormones that are active during pregnancy totally prevent ovulation. As we know, ovulation is the time in your cycle when the egg is released into the uterus and women experience menstrual bleeding. Since the egg in pregnant women is already fertilised, ovulation does not occur and hence no bleeding. However, it is not uncommon to find that many women do report getting what seem like regular periods during early pregnancy. The bleeding that pregnant women complain about though is not truly a menstrual period. It can be called early pregnancy bleeding. If you ever used contraceptives such as the Pill then you must know that studies have shown that women who get pregnant while on the Pill might also have intermittent bleeding. Menstruating during pregnancy is a myth; most women confuse any vaginal bleeding as their period because that is what they are used to happening. You did not experience a period; you experienced vaginal bleeding. This is a common occurrence and a wide misconception. You must know that bleeding early in pregnancy, as in the first trimester, is scary, but it usually does not signal a problem. It is also rather common among women. There are a few common causes of first-trimester bleeding, none of which is an indication of trouble. So stop worrying.
Hi Sis Noe
My problem is that since growing up, I never had a drop of menstruation. I have been to hospitals and no one knows about it except my family. I am worried I might lose my husband. — Worried.
Reply
Many things can cause a woman never to have a period. The most common cause would be a lack of ovulation. You will need to see your doctor for an evaluation. Your doctor will perform some blood tests to check for a hormone imbalance — if this is the case then some medication will be needed to put your hormones back to normal limits. Make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible to have this sorted out.
Hi Sis Noe
Is it possible for a woman to fall pregnant when she sleeps with a guy for the first time? — Curious.
Reply
Yes, a girl can become pregnant the first time she has sex. Anytime a girl has vaginal sex with a guy, she is at risk of becoming pregnant. Even if a guy ejaculates outside of but near a girl’s vagina or pulls out before he comes, a girl can get pregnant. Any time a man and a woman have intercourse, pregnancy is possible (of course, the chance of pregnancy is greatly reduced if you are using an effective method of birth control). All that needs to happen is for a sperm to get to an egg. Even if a young woman has never menstruated, she might have just ovulated (released an egg) for the first time. This would make her fertile and pregnancy possible.
Online Reporter