Online Reporter
Fadzayi Maposah-Correspondent
LIFE is lived forwards, but understood backwards.
Surprisingly I have grown up to be like my mother, MaNcube and my grandmothers, MaSibanda and MaMoyo before her. Sometimes when I am done doing something, I actually take a moment to laugh at myself, I am really mwana waMavis! I always say that we owe the ones before us, who are no longer with us, many apologies.
Our elders had ways of managing issues that as children we did not understand. As we look back now as adults ourselves, we realise that our elders were always wiser than us.
They did not shout that they were wiser, but now we realise that they were and we rebuke ourselves at times for having not been good listeners.
The fact that at times they just used to do things and when we asked, they simply told us that was how it was done, we had no time to find out more.
Now with most of them no longer part of us, we ask one another, just how did they do that?
The answers that we give one another at times are full of, ‘I think’ and ‘maybe’ and then at the end of it all we are not sure even if we have told ourselves the truth.
It is important for families to make time to document traditions and what they do within the family, clan or even the village.
I have many experiences in public transport. I have come to the conclusion that I should just write a book on my adventures and experiences as I use public transport! That is a story for another day.
Commuter omnibus crews are content creators in their own right. Given that content creators can be positive or negative, I am certain that both sides are well represented. I was in a commuter omnibus, reading a book that I have read many times as I waited for fellow passengers to come.
What stole my attention from the book was loud clapping outside. It was the clapping that one hears as a son in-law is brought into the home after paying lobola/roora and he is about to be introduced to the whole family.
When the son-in-law does the clapping, he is announcing his entrance and he does not do it alone. The team that has accompanied him, also joins in. Now this is not the clapping one expects to get at the bus terminus.
Looked outside, there was no roora squad. Then accompanying the loud clapping, was the shout in unison, Ambuya, Amai.
That was enough for all of us in the commuter omnibus to attract our attention. A woman in her mid-30s, in tow with three girls dressed in identical dresses although they were of different ages. The woman smiled as the conductor helped her with the luggage that she carried on her head. Then it clicked.
The woman had beautiful girls and the crew was acknowledging that she was a potential in-law. They helped her with her bags and fitted some of them under the seats.
One of the young men who was packing the luggage, said he was already working hard to ensure that he would be prepared when the roora day arrived.
He respected his in-laws so much that he did not want to have anything owing.
No matter how many cattle the in-laws requested, he would make sure that he brought the cows home.
When the woman and her daughters were seated, there were jokes that the conductor would soon be asking the in-law to advance some roora money when she paid their bus fares.
From the corner where I sat, I heard one woman comment that the mother of three was blessed to have the girls. She shared that she had four boys and that after the birth of the two boys, she had really hoped that she would have daughters.
She laughed that maybe if she had continued, she would have ended up with many boys. The woman said she was content with her daughters and had no immediate plans of trying for a boy.
The man seated behind her asked her how her husband was taking just having daughters, didn’t he want a son?
The woman faced the man with a smile and said that within the family, there were many pillars of support, but the strongest were her in-laws who had talked to them after the birth of the second daughter.
Both the father and the mother in-law loved their granddaughters and were content.
They were the ones who had taken her husband through a mini biology class reminding him that it was the man who determined the sex of the child, and that if he attempted having extra marital relations seeking a son, there were chances that he would have daughters too. The discussion had been done in a way that was supportive to the couple.
The in-laws had shown wisdom by addressing a potential threat to the family.
With the commuter omnibus full and on its way, there was discussion on how the sex of a child could strain relations, while others were simply just ready to have a baby and did not care whether it was a boy or girl.
The girls’ mother confessed that initially she had been edgy and discouraged when the second girl was born because she had seen marriages collapse when sons were sought outside the marriage.
The conductor said he was looking forward to marrying into such a supportive family and the whole omnibus burst into laughter.
Even without knowing the in-laws who had provided support to a woman who had somehow become discouraged after a second daughter, the passengers respected them for making the initial step to safeguarding family health and relations.
With a month to go to celebrate our heroes, let us be on the lookout for people going about their roles and responsibilities, and being courageous as they get things done.
#29 days to Heroes Day!
