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Born in 1932 in Chitakatira Village in Zimunya, Mutare, at the age of 20 he got married to his longtime sweetheart Tiyani.
He did the respectable thing and paid lobola as required. The couple was blessed with nine children, five boys and four girls.
Raising a family in the same area he grew up was not difficult because his in-laws would help with tillage resources.
He was one of the success stories in the community, but not for long.
Life took a turn when his wife was swept away by the torrential Mupudzi River as it flooded in 1982.
Then aged 50, he did not remarry. He dedicated himself to raising the last three children who were all girls and still at school.
Speaking recently on the journey of his life, he said he does not regret having selflessly dedicated himself to his children.
“Life revolved around my three young girls and then I was occupied. I loved them so much that I never thought a second wife would be able to look after them.
“By 1992 they were all grown ups and the youngest girl was at nursing school at Bonda Mission Hospital. With nothing to do at home, I would visit my children moving from one family to the other,” he said.
“Everyone in the community, my children included, believed that since I had lost my wife in 1982 and had not remarried, I no longer had any physical need for a woman,” said sekuru Jerry.
“I played to their tune. I did not want to disappoint them but secretly, I was bed-hopping.”
Sekuru said there was a widow in the area.
She had refused to be inherited by her late husband’s brothers, so she was in a difficult position,” he said.
“I had talked to the widow who I will not name and agreed that we would conduct our love affair in secret. She was comfortable with that,” said sekuru.
The widow got ill and was diagnosed with cervical cancer.
Sekuru said his world fell apart when his secret lover was taken away for treatment to town by one of her children.
She never came back for two years and it is during that period that I would pick up sex workers from beerhalls under the cover of darkness.
Sekuru said condoms were scarce around 1995 and they always had unprotected sex.
“I contracted an STI in 1997 and used herbs to treat myself. Only the herbalist knew. I appeared to have healed only to wake up one day with blisters which looked like cauliflower.
“My daugther who had finished training as a nurse visited with the monthly groceries and found me in bad shape. She took me to her place and knew what was wrong with me,” said sekuru.
“She is a qualified nurse and so she asked her workmates to handle me with care,” he said.
Sekuru’s story is common among widowers.
“I found that my better half had recovered and had come back to her homestead. She was happy to see me and we continued from where we had left with our game plan,” he added.
Sekuru said after a month, his secret lover had an STI and put him to task.
Sekuru lived comfortably as his children provided well for him.
“You know I had been used to the young girls and now only had one occasional beauty who was supposed to be faithful, so she told me she was, but that was not to be. She would visit the pub after leaving my place at night yet I provided even for her two children,” he said.
“My secret lover was so embarrassed to seek treatment at the clinic and when she finally did she tried to disguise it as recurrent cervical cancer. The nurses examined her and told her that it was an
STI. She was treated and did not respond well to treatment,” he said.
“Word spread in the village that ambuya who had turned down being taken over by her husband’s brother had an STI. It was so embarrassing,” he said.
Sekuru Jerry said the woman cut off ties with him and would not even have him visit in the cover of darkness.
“She told me it was over and it was so sad.”
Sekuru within a few weeks started to feel itchy in the private parts and this time visited the clinic with haste.
He was found to have an STI too.
He said he was so ashamed because he commanded so much respect. The clinic staffers at Rowa were part of the community.
When he did not respond well to the daily injections he was being given the nurses suggested he took an HIV test.
Sekuru said he reluctantly obliged and tested HIV positive.
“My secret lover had in the meantime got so ill and word had it that she had Aids. I knew that I had infected her because she was a good woman. Unfortunately, the shame and stigma was so much for her and she died that same year,” said sekuru Jerry.
Sekuru Jerry said the going was tough. There was no medication then but he relied on traditional medicines.
“I used the potato and moringa plant which was prepared by my herbalist friend. My daugther, the nurse was very supportive. She understood me more than the rest of my children, who despite taking care of me blamed me when I was not in their presence. So with her support I pulled through,” said sekuru.
Sekuru Jerry blames society for thinking that old people have no sexual needs.
He speaks of elderly pals in his community who have tested HIV positive yet they lost their partners long before the advent of HIV.
With a daugther in the medical field sekuru was lucky that when the national programme was rolled out in 2004 his daughter got him enlisted.
“I was put on ARVs in 2004 but then we used to go to the general hospital, it is now much easier I get my tablets from the local clinic.
“I have opened up and tell all the widows that they need not live their lives for other people. I speak even at beer-drinks, although I am no longer taking alcohol that everyone ought to get tested,” he added.
“If you have gone to bed with someone, then get tested today, do not turn your back on Aids,” said sekuru Jerry speaking like an activist.
A doctor speaking on condition of anonymity said they are witnessing an increase in the number of old people testing HIV positive.
“We are having a steady increase in the numbers of the elderly testing positive, so these days we ask everyone visiting the health facility to take an HIV test,” he said.
“It is wrong for people to believe that the old are not sexually active, they are, said the doctor.”
Sekuru Jerry is lucky in that he had the support of his last child. He said not many people are as lucky as he has been.
Nationally not many programmes target the elderly. There are messages and programmes for the teenagers and people up to 50.
Even statistics usually show HIV figures up to the age of 49.
Those who tested HIV positive 15 years ago are now in the 60s and they too deserve to be captured.
There are those living positively and are grandparents like sekuru Jerry, they too deserve recognition in planning and nutritional schemes.
Sekuru Jerry is living testimony that the pandemic cuts across the age divide. He celebrates his 80th birthday early next year.
Until then, do not turn your back on HIV.
Online Reporter
Bongani Ndlovu