Online Reporter
Pauline T Nenerai [email protected]
ACROSS Zimbabwe, from crowded commuter omnibuses and busy workplaces to churches and social media platforms, one word has become impossible to ignore: mjolo.
Borrowed from South African slang, mjolo refers to dating and romantic relationships. In recent years, the phrase “mjolo pandemic” has become part of everyday conversation as people share stories of infidelity, betrayal, toxic relationships and heartbreak.
While many people laugh about it through memes, jokes and viral social media posts, the emotional scars left behind are often very real. For a growing number of adults, relationships that are supposed to provide comfort and companionship have instead become a significant source of stress, anxiety and emotional pain.
For many adults, relationships are expected to provide love, security and support. Instead, some find themselves caught in cycles of manipulation, mistrust and emotional abuse that slowly wear down their mental wellbeing.
The effects can be devastating. Anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and, in severe cases, suicidal thoughts are increasingly being linked to relationship problems. Mental health practitioners say they are seeing more clients whose emotional distress stems from relationship breakdowns rather than work-related pressures or financial challenges.
Consider the story of a 35-year-old woman from Matobo who put her career on hold to support her partner’s business. After years of building a life together, she discovered he had another family, and the betrayal left her unable to sleep and withdrawn from friends.
She lost interest in her work and was later diagnosed with depression by a local clinic. Her experience is far from unique. Counsellors in Matabeleland South say they continue to encounter adults struggling to recover from broken trust, emotional trauma and public humiliation caused by failed relationships.
In another example, a married man in Bulilima quietly endured emotional abuse for years because society expects men to “be strong.” He never sought help and instead turned to alcohol to numb the pain, which further damaged his marriage and work performance.
His story reflects a wider pattern in which many men suffer in silence because of stigma. Church leaders and community elders in Gwanda and Plumtree say more men are now approaching them privately for support, but many still delay seeking professional help until the emotional damage is extensive.
Financial abuse has also become a hidden feature of the so-called mjolo pandemic. Some partners are pressured into taking loans, paying rent or funding lavish lifestyles for people who contribute little to the relationship.
When the relationship ends, the victim is often left not only heartbroken but also burdened by debt and shame. Residents’ associations in Bulawayo and Gwanda say they have observed an increase in disputes where money and property are at the centre of relationship conflicts.
Social media has intensified these pressures by promoting unrealistic standards of romance and marriage. Carefully edited photos and videos often create the illusion of perfect relationships, fuelling jealousy, dissatisfaction and unnecessary conflict.
Constant online surveillance between partners, such as demanding passwords and checking locations, has also contributed to growing levels of mistrust and anxiety. Young adults, in particular, say they feel pressured to present idealised versions of their relationships online in search of validation and approval.
Mental health professionals are increasingly recognising that relationship problems are among the leading reasons adults seek counselling. Emotional abuse, gaslighting, controlling behaviour, infidelity and repeated rejection can leave deep psychological scars if they are not addressed.
The Zimbabwe Psychological Association and local clinics continue to encourage early intervention before problems escalate. They note that talking to a professional is not a sign of weakness, but a practical and important step towards healing.
Healthy relationships should be built on trust, respect, honesty, communication and mutual support. Couples are encouraged to resolve conflict through respectful dialogue and to seek counselling before problems become overwhelming.
Leaving a toxic relationship is not a sign of failure, and in many situations it is a necessary step to protect one’s mental and emotional wellbeing. Community leaders stress that staying “for the sake of the children” should not come at the cost of one’s health and dignity.
Families, churches, employers and communities also have a responsibility to support adults experiencing relationship distress. Dismissing pain with statements like “everyone goes through it” only deepens feelings of isolation and delays the healing process.
Emotional wounds deserve the same attention as physical injuries, and safe spaces where men and women can speak openly about their experiences are urgently needed. Faith leaders in
Matabeleland South have begun hosting marriage and relationship workshops to help address these challenges and encourage healthier relationships.
The mjolo pandemic is not simply about failed relationships. It is about the growing mental health burden carried in silence by many adults who often lack the support systems needed to cope and recover.
As Zimbabwe continues to promote mental health awareness, relationship wellness must become part of the national conversation. Seeking help after heartbreak or emotional abuse should be
viewed as an act of courage and self-care rather than a sign of weakness.
Love should be a source of healing, growth and peace, not a cause of emotional suffering. By promoting healthy relationships, encouraging open communication and improving access to mental health services, communities can reduce the hidden psychological toll of the mjolo pandemic and build stronger families and healthier societies in Matabeleland South and beyond.
*Pauline T Nenerai is a registered counselling psychologist
