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Munya Chimanye-Features Writer
Through representation on television, books and movies, the euphemistic view of marriage evokes images of a bride walking down aisle in a supple white gown that captures both light and attention; triple layered cakes and elaborately dressed guests gathered to observe an honorary marriage officer or ordained priest ratifying couples as married under the eyes of the law or before God.
These ideals have the hallmarks of the residual colonially-inspired British “white wedding”.
As citizens of a developing nation like Zimbabwe, wanting to achieve this ideal, irrespective of its coming to be in the nation, confirms a collective recognition of the true nature of marriage: a culturally recognised union between two people, in this case a husband and a wife bound by love through matrimony.
Under the laws of Zimbabwe this form of marriage is known as a civil union; juxtaposed by its counterpart, a customary union.
Unanimous conclusions were reached on a new Bill under the Marriage Act that makes for all customary unions to be between two consenting adults of 18 years of age or older registered in front of a magistrate, retaining the customary laws of the respective area; however, within the unanimity a point of contention has arisen between Parliament and traditional leaders.
It is the belief of traditional leaders that where there is a bride, there should be a bride price in all customary unions.
Known more intimately as “lobola” or “roora” within cultural ethic groups in Zimbabwe, the concept of bride price is a staple in a plethora of rich cultures the world over.
Most countries in East, West or Southern Africa feature a form of bride price transactable between families in order for marriages to be fulfilled.
In North Africa, South Asia and Eastern Europe, there are examples of its antithesis: the dowry, which often calls for the transfer of wealth from the bride’s family to the groom as a sign of respect and seed to the growth of the family.
A bride price has historically been payable by the groom to his future in-laws as means by which to establish and strengthen a relationship by thanking a prospective bride’s parents for commendably raising their child when taking a young woman from her childhood home.
Traditional leaders demand that payment of “lobola” is a core part of a customary marriage, which in keeping with tradition is true.
I recall the day on which one of my close friends accompanied his cousin to the home of his prospective in-laws.
Adhering to decorum, the groom-to-be paid close attention to the “muchemo” of the elder males in his in-laws family, proceeding respectfully on one knee, acknowledging their reasoning for the bride price he was to pay with the help of his family.
Finally, when they were done, he brought his cupped hands together, over and over, producing the most esteemed hollow sound of courtesy a few times before rising, in debt he would have to settle in order to take the hand of his betrothed in marriage.
Typically, in Zimbabwe this bride price would be met through livestock, but money and other means of compensation have been adopted: making one’s own daughter a proverbial cash cow upon her intention to marry.
Upon this assertion, the question is: how much is a daughter worth?
On average the answer would be, ironically, a few cows totalling to an average cost of US$3 000 at US$1 000 per young cow.
In the past, gender roles called for women to enter marriages for the purpose of child-rearing and housekeeping; however, in 2021, these antiquated ways of thinking have been cast aside as professional women have emerged quashing bitter stigmas like women belong in the kitchen.
The tradition would not be left behind, it too would evolve.
Different variables would affect the price of a bride, ranging from the level of education she was able to achieve, to the prestige to which she could potentially rise in her line of work or even how happy she was as an infant.
For the majority of Zimbabweans, the exploitation of the institution of customary marriages makes marriage ultimately unavailable for them leaving men and women, who have already consummated their relations with a child or four as proof, unable to raise the money to pay for their lovers’ hand in marriage.
Through toil and effort nonetheless, many manage to achieve the hand of their loved one in marriage.
Many who watch their marriages go from toil to terror.
The implicit connotation of ownership in the invisible fine print of the conceptual bride price can account for the recurrence of domestic and gender based violence in Zimbabwe where it is reported by the Demographic and Health Survey (DHS) that 35 percent of women between the ages of 15 and 49 have been beaten by their partners.
In times past, marriages could be considered complete just by the exchange of a bride price, but this let many women slip through the cracks; in 2019, purportedly 70 percent of civil unions in Zimbabwe were unofficial, having only been endorsed by “lobola”.
However, with the new Bill, Parliament aims to provide support to women by making all customary marriages null unless preceded over by a marriage officer, making these unions a matter of record.
Parliament has also made an effort so that newly-weds under customary marriage need only complete a form to change the registration of their marriage to that of a registered civil marriage.
As the years progress, the population of Zimbabwe becomes more metropolitan and urban.
The country follows this trend.
Learning from and protecting its women, educating its men and together making the nation safer and more intelligent per capita.
The only question is, within an advancing nation like our own: for how much longer will men pay for their wives?
Or rather: should they have to?
Online Reporter