Online Reporter
A wannabe Bulawayo thief turned a midnight break-in into a nap-time disaster after forcing his way into a locked house and inexplicably falling asleep on the sofa, like a tired visitor waiting for supper.
The comedy of errors unfolded at Northwards Hostel along Fourth Avenue Extension, where residents were left in stitches after discovering the intruder snoring.
The accused, Richard Vundla (25), of Old Pumula, appeared before the Bulawayo Magistrates’ Court, where it emerged he was an ex-convict.
Having walked out of prison in October last year, he strolled straight back into trouble.
Prosecutor Joseph Rugara told the court that Vundla showed no urgency to escape after breaking in.
“Richard walked around the hostels and forced entry through a window into a locked house.
“After getting inside, he sat on the sofa and eventually fell asleep,” Rugara said, sparking muffled laughter in court.
The drama took an even funnier twist when the unsuspecting homeowner heard strange noises in the night.
Believing his young son had woken up, the man called out into the darkness but was met with silence.
Curious and slightly annoyed, he opened the door to investigate, only to find a grown man sleeping peacefully on the sofa, as if he owned the place.
The startled family woke the intruder and asked him who he was.
With heavy eyelids and no shame, he simply replied, “My name is Richard,” offering no explanation for why he was catching a nap in someone else’s living room.
Realising this was no ordinary guest, the owner called a security guard, who escorted the groggy suspect to Khumalo Police Station, ending the shortest crime spree of the week.
Magistrate Patience Madondo was not amused by the sofa sleepover and sentenced Vundla to four months in prison, reminding him that people’s couches are not rest stops for criminals.
Residents at the hostel joked that at least the thief did not steal anything but only had a good nap, while others quipped that Bulawayo criminals are now breaking in tired and underqualified.
This was one heist that ended before it even began. — Bulawayo Bureau
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Tractor battery heist that went horribly wrong for Chegutu duo
Two Chegutu men are cooling their heels in prison after trying to flip a US$100 farm tractor battery for the price of a plate of isitshwala and maheu — a business idea that backfired spectacularly.
The Chegutu Magistrates’ Court sentenced Brighton Bwanali (30) to 36 months in jail and his accomplice Shadreck Simango (23) to six months in prison after convicting them of theft.
The bungled crime took place on January 23, 2026 at Ngulube Workshop in Chegutu, where a farmer had parked his tractor for tyre repairs.
As the owner kept watch over the tyre mending, the duo allegedly spotted a golden opportunity under the tractor bonnet: a 12-volt Exide 650 battery worth about US$100.
Without hesitation, they unplugged the heavy-duty battery and walked off as if they had merely borrowed it.
Their next stop was Durawall area, where they attempted to sell the powerful tractor battery for just US$10 — a price so low it practically screamed “stolen”.
Prospective buyers reportedly took one look, did quick mental maths and realised they were being offered a luxury item at tuck-shop prices. Instead of handing over cash, they alerted detectives.
When the police arrived and casually asked about the battery’s origin, the suspects allegedly decided that running was a better answer than talking, scattering in different directions like loose bolts.
Their legs, however, were no match for community teamwork.
Residents joined the chase, cornered the duo and handed them over to police.
The US$100 Exide 650 battery was recovered intact.
The court noted that stealing farming equipment undermines agricultural productivity, but observers could not ignore the irony of risking prison time over a battery they planned to offload for pocket change.
Police praised vigilant residents for exposing the “bargain-of-the-century” scam.
For Bwanali and Simango, the dream of instant cash ended in embarrassment, handcuffs and jail. — Mashonaland West Bureau
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Slain for refusing to buy more beer
A night of bingeing at a Zvishavane nightclub ended in tragedy, leaving one man dead and a teenage killer sentenced to two decades behind bars.
The High Court sitting in Gweru sentenced Thabani Gambiza (19) to 20 years in prison after convicting him of fatally attacking Artwell Ncube (28) with a beer bottle in the early hours of August 19, 2025.
The State managed to prove that Gambiza and Ncube met while drinking at a popular nightclub in Zvishavane.
The two quickly bonded, sharing a cigarette and a quart of beer outside the club as the night wore on. But the good vibes soured when the beer ran out.
Gambiza demanded money from Ncube to buy more beer. When Ncube refused, Gambiza was infuriated. He attempted to go back into the nightclub but was denied entry by bouncers who felt he was too drunk. He subsequently lured an equally intoxicated Ncube to a dark, open space outside the club, away from witnesses.
There, he struck Ncube on the right eyebrow with an empty beer bottle, sending him crashing to the ground.
As Ncube lay stunned and bleeding, Gambiza’s accomplice, Fungai Kuboya, joined the assault, smashing another bottle onto the back of his head.
The attackers fled, leaving Ncube unconscious, bleeding and helpless.
Security personnel later found him and rushed him to Zvishavane District Hospital, where he died while receiving treatment.
Kuboya is still on the run.
In passing sentence, the High Court emphasised that alcohol-fuelled violence continues to claim innocent lives, turning minor disputes into deadly encounters.
For Gambiza, one violent decision will now cost him 20 years behind bars. — Midlands Bureau
Peter Tanyanyiwa