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Tendai Rupapa in SHURUGWI
A QUEST to promote harmony among families and the search for solutions to domestic violence, drug abuse and child marriages, among a host of ills affecting society today, yesterday took First Lady Dr Auxillia Mnangagwa to Shurugwi in the Midlands Province where she held an oversubscribed male engagement session.
It emerged during the engagement that most men do not know their health status because they largely do not subscribe to regular health checks while many others present for treatment when diseases have worsened.
There was a handful of women who responded to some issues pertaining to them that were raised.
Yesterday’s session was the ninth, leaving the mother of the nation with just one province to cover all the ten provinces.
Thousands of men, including 47 traditional chiefs, came in from various parts of the province for the interactive session.
Those in attendance were granted a chance to air their views during the discussion where men were also urged by the First Lady to have regular health checks to ensure ailments are diagnosed and treated early.
Bulawayo based IYASA treated the gathering to a tear-jerking performance on GBV and child marriages which left the gathering fighting back tears.
They portrayed women who were being abused by their husbands who also married off their daughters to elderly men. To start proceedings, the First Lady humbled herself before the men and sought permission to engage them on various issues.
“Let me respect the men who are present here. Kindly allow me as a woman to stand before you to discuss issues that are affecting our families. In this country we respect men as the heads of households.
“For these to be homes, they took us and we stayed together. It is in living together that a lot comes out.
“Today we want to discuss those things as we speak about families looking at the relationship among husbands and their wives, fathers and their sons and also looking at the relationship between mothers and their daughters. We also want to look at diseases affecting men like AIDS, diabetes, hypertension and prostate cancer.”
All these ailments may affect a person who then refuses to be examined vogara vasingazive pavamire mayererano nehutano hwavo. Today I ask if you know where you stand in terms of diseases? Some bring the diseases home and take pills from their pocket without informing their spouses,” she said to applause.
On Covid-19, Dr Mnangagwa warned that the virus was still prevalent and people needed to remain vigilant.
“Covid-19 is still prevalent so let us not relax, let’s protect ourselves as we preserve life. Kana zvikanzi yadzikira, let us follow all the protocols. Always mask-up, wash hands with soap and maintain social distance. If we know where we stand in terms of health we must then consume foods that build bodies. Traditional foods are nutritious and medicinal. Some of the diseases are caused by the food we eat nowadays. Our elders grew up healthy because they ate healthy and knew roots with medicinal properties. Some men do not drink water and value beer a lot. Do you know that water is important for the body?
“It is also important to exercise to keep fit. Walking up and down is helpful and performing household chores pamusha penyu and doing projects is also good exercise,” she said.
She also spoke about courtship and marriage.
“What made you marry the wife you have at home now and why did you women yield to the proposal? What had you seen? Some men married women with bad habits with the hope that they would change once in the home, but this did not change hence the endless fights which are affecting children in the home.
“We say no to domestic violence, we are also saying no child marriages. Even IYASA during their performance showed the dangers of child marriages. We saw in their performance a drunk father marrying off his child to an elderly man in exchange for beer money. We have high divorce cases in the country. Do you know that children suffer the most when parents divorce? This again makes children yield to peer pressure and start taking drugs. I heard in an area I visited recently that there are women who are selling children drugs. We are killing our children.
“Come along all women so that we train each other to use our hands and we stop selling drugs to children. That’s dirty money, come and work for your clean money. Through my Angel of Hope Foundation, we have many projects to assist women. Recently, I was in Seke harvesting with ladies who are committed to using their hands to earn a living,” she said.
Dr Mnangagwa decried the effects of drugs on both boys and girls.
“Drugs have destroyed both boys and girls. Some girls are raped and impregnated while drunk and they do not know the responsible man. There are also diseases that come but she won’t know anything because of drunkenness. Parents let us have time with our children to teach them because we have rejected a total breakdown of the home where father, mother, son and daughter act in isolation.
“We want people who watch over the home well and raise children in a dignified way. We say no to women who discuss their husbands with children or go about sharing family secrets with neighbours. As Midlands Province we want to discuss and cover all. Domestic violence does not bring development in the country.
“Who is marrying off young children? Who is starting violence in the home,” she asked.
In response, an elderly man said: “I wish all women would speak with the humility you are using because they say bad things which drive us to beat them up. We appreciate your respect Amai and we wish our wives took a leaf. Dai madzimai edu aine tsika nehunhu semi, dai tigere zvakanaka ‘mumajeri’ matiri umu.”
In his response, Mr Darius Gamana, ascribed violence to arguments over conjugal rights.
“Conjugal rights are causing violence because women deny us these rights when drunk because they accuse us of being smelly. This drives me to a small house where I get special attention,” he said.
Mr Hillary Machacha held a different view.
“As young couples, our young wives Amai did not understand what marriage means, neither did they understand us as their husbands but we thank you for your educative programmes which are teaching our wives morals because they previously waited for us to work as they spent time on social media. We thank you for the projects you are initiating for our wives countrywide,” he said.
Women also came up with their views, saying they were tired of being cheated on.
Mrs Vivian Melusi said: “We are tired of men who frequent small houses. We are tired of being bashed for asking where they would have slept. They respect their girlfriends more than us their spouses. They do not eat the food we prepare and thank you for coming to discuss with our husbands Amai and we hope they have taken this to heart,” she said.
Mrs Tendai Rodrick decried that men did not take kindly to visiting hospitals for health checks.
“Our husbands do not want to visit hospitals for health checks yet they cheat. If you decide to go and get tested alone they take offence. Men do not know the importance of health checks. We thank you for the programme you have brought because men do not appreciate the importance of visiting the hospital regularly,” she said.
The First Lady went further asking the kind of son-in-law and daughter-in-law people wanted.
Mrs Irene Jakasi said she wanted a son-in-law who pays lobola and not just make her daughter elope.
Another elderly woman said she wanted a God-fearing son-in-law.
“I want a son-in-law who worships God and looks after my daughter. I want one who treats his parents and his in-laws fairly.”
Mr Courage Maunzagona took the story to another dimension.
“As a son-in-law I am pained by in-laws who treat their sons-in-law differently. If one son-in-law has a car, he is treated better than me who walks on foot. When it’s time to skin a goat, they look for me while exalting the one with a car.”
Mr Wushe Zhiradzago said he wanted a morally-upright daughter-in-law.
“I want a daughter-in-law who is morally upright and I see it better for my son to build their own place than having to stay with the mother-in-law under one roof because there are always differences,” he said.
Chief Nhema, Mr Oathnery Ngere, thanked the First Lady for her visit with the educational programme.
“We are thankful for your visit to the Midlands. In our courts we are inundated with divorce cases involving mostly young couples who would have taken each other wrongly and who take each other’s phones and start accusing one of infidelity leading to a divorce. The death of people in our communities also affects us as chiefs. People are taking drugs and when they have a misunderstanding they are stabbing each other under the influence of drugs. Also Amai these children are taking each other while at school leading to school dropouts. We want to thank you for this programme Amai,” he said with a broad smile.
The mother of the nation thanked the people for coming out in large numbers for her educational programme.
She handed over food hampers to the chiefs and everyone who attended went home with some goodies.
Amai Mnangagwa thanked her Angel of Hope Foundation’s partners for their continued support adding that as the mother of the nation, all her programmes and projects are non-partisan.
The First Lady educated the gathering about the Women’s bank and Youth Bank, urging them to utilise them and get loans to start projects.
So timely was the First Lady’s engagement in the Midlands where statistics from the police show that from January to date, Shurugwi has recorded 33 child rape cases and 27 rape cases involving adults. Aggravated indecent assault cases involving the abuse of men were six while there were 141 domestic violence cases.
The Midlands Provincial medical director said for most men, unusual health physical symptoms go unrecognised or are ignored as they tend to withstand pain as long as they feel fine or without any injury.
“Conversely, research has shown men are complacent with their health even if it poses mental health challenges- don’t mind their nutrition (what they eat, balanced or not), health (no medical check-ups, weight) take more risks, unhealthy habits or lifestyles like smoking, substance abuse and more. I tend to have noticed boys assimilate most things from their fathers, bad or good, for example going to church, smoking, drugs, among others.
The National Aids Council (NAC) representative said Shurugwi had the highest HIV prevalence rate in the Midlands Province.
“As our ambassador for health Amai you seek to achieve equality among all citizens, in terms of accessing health services. Your aim is to end HIV by 2030. You are advising people to prevent these diseases. Currently, the prevalence rate in the country is 11,58 percent. Here in the Midlands Province, the prevalence is 11,9 percent. Shurugwi is the district leading in HIV transmission. 150 000 people are living with HIV. There are 94 000 women and 56 000 men and most men do not want to visit clinics, which is a challenge,” he said.
Speaking at the same occasion, Mrs Failess Matemba, from the Office of the First Lady, said the mother of the nation opened a National Gender-based violence toll-free line 575 to address the ever-increasing challenge.
“She has also gone beyond the toll-free line and has engaged fathers and young boys with programmes such as male engagement which we have converged for today. To date the First Lady has travelled to nine provinces and intends to travel to the remaining province with the programme,” she said.
The First Lady’s vision, Mrs Matemba said, is to use a family oriented approach to counter the scourge of domestic violence within households by engaging the male populace who are also leaders of the family setup as stakeholders in the fight against gender-based violence.
“The National Gender-based violence call centre is operated directly from the First Lady’s Office and sometimes she answers the calls herself. The call centre agents are multi-lingual operators who are simultaneously trained counsellors. Statistics gathered from calls received to date point to the male gender being the majority perpetrators of gender-based violence.
“Their female counterparts are minor perpetrators but further inquiry reveals that most cases of such incidents are in retaliation to male perpetrators though it might not be instant but the woman can premeditate to fight back some other time,” she said.
Among the triggers pointed out by Mrs Matemba include drug abuse which makes people lose control of themselves hence beating, hurting or killing their spouses, children, family members or neighbours.
She also singled out infidelity as the other contributory factor.
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