Online Reporter
Laina Makuzha
Love by Design
I have a question this week for all the lovers, married or not. If you believe in love and are doing your best at it: how would you rate yourself as a good partner or good catch, on a scale of 1-10, one being the lowest?
This came to mind just thinking about how the world around us is abuzz with commercialised expressions of love, especially at this time as we approach Valentine’s Day.
While it is wonderful to celebrate love in the various creative ways people have crafted, let us remember true love is more about giving, not just getting. Last week, we explored the topic of successful women finding love and only scaled the surface. This week, I am inspired to delve into what makes a good partner, whether you are in a relationship, marriage, or still searching for love.
In a world where social media often presents unrealistic expectations, it is essential to focus on being a better partner rather than trying to keep up appearances or keeping up with the Joneses. This phrase itself: “keeping up with the Joneses” originated from a 1913 comic strip by Arthur R. “Pop” Momand. Two movies, somewhat depicting the idea: “Keeping Up with the Joneses” (2016) and “The Joneses” (2009), explored the theme of competing with neighbours.
In the 2009 film “The Joneses,” directed by Derrick Borte, a seemingly perfect family moves into a suburban neighbourhood, only to reveal that they are actually a team of corporate spies. As they infiltrate the community, they create a facade of perfection and an incredible lifestyle, which ultimately leads to catastrophic consequences. The film highlights the dangers of prioritising appearances over authenticity.
Similarly, the 2016 film “Keeping Up with the Joneses,” directed by Greg Mottola, tells the story of a suburban couple who discover that their new neighbours are spies. As they become embroiled in the spies’ mission, they must confront their own marital issues and learn to prioritise their relationship over material possessions.
So, what makes a good partner?
A Tik Tok clip caught my eye just the other day, where a lady had this to say: “My husband taught me to be a relaxed woman. I had always seen a praying woman, the ambitious woman, a strong woman and my husband taught me that rest is not a recommendation, it is a requirement and he would tell me things like I have got you; and there’s something about a man who keeps his word that makes you feel so safe, so secure, and it allows you to flourish in your femininity…” She summed it by saying: “So if you ever wanna know what to look for in a man: A man who doesn’t wanna break God’s heart won’t wanna break yours…” I thought that was profound. And the way she expressed all this had so much grace, peace and glowing. You can see a happy couple or someone happy in a relationship with the way they just have a light about them, they just glow.
My “go-to” manual, the Bible offers valuable insights on this topic. See where you stand and where you could improve, if at all:
Qualities of a good husband (Ephesians 5:25-33, 1 Peter 3:7):
- Loves his wife unconditionally
- Respects and honours his wife
- Leads his family with wisdom and compassion
- Provides for his family’s physical and emotional needs
- Forgives and seeks forgiveness
Qualities of a Good Wife (Ephesians 5:22-24, 1 Peter 3:1-6):
- Submits to her husband with respect and love
- Supports and encourages her husband
- Manages the household with wisdom and care
- Nurtures her family’s physical and emotional needs
- Practices self-control and purity
If you are still searching for love, here are some tips for choosing that life partner you so deserve:
Look for shared values: A strong foundation for a healthy relationship is shared values and beliefs.
Assess their character: Observe how they treat others, handle challenges, and prioritise relationships.
Evaluate their communication style: Effective communication is crucial for a healthy relationship.
Consider their emotional maturity: A partner with emotional maturity can navigate conflicts and challenges in a healthy way.
Pray for guidance: Seek God’s wisdom and guidance in your search for a life partner.
As we celebrate love this Valentine’s Day, let us focus on being better partners, rather than trying to keep up appearances. Whether you are in a relationship, marriage, or still searching for love, remember that true love is about giving, not just getting. Chimboshamisawo umwe wako this year by being better. In this column, we are all about choosing to love all year round, with no break! Remember, do not be weary in well doing as Galatians 6:9 says:
“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season, we shall reap if we faint not.”(KJV)
Prayer for healthy relationships and strong families:
Dear Heavenly Father, we come before You with humble hearts, seeking Your guidance and wisdom in our relationships. We pray for every individual desiring to be a good partner, that You would grant them the strength to love unconditionally, to forgive freely, and to communicate effectively. For those resolving to do better this year, we ask that you renew their minds, transform their hearts, and empower them to build strong, healthy relationships. We lift those who are praying for a good partner, that You would bring someone special into their life, someone who will love, honour, and cherish them. And for those who are still waiting for a worthy partner, we pray that You would prepare their hearts, protect their emotions, and bring them together with someone who will join them in their journey towards You. May Your Word be our guide, may Your love be our foundation, and may our relationships bring glory to Your name. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen. ( Scripture reference: Ephesians 5:25-33, 1 Peter 3:1-9, and Matthew 19:4-6)
Let’s continue the conversation. I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic! What qualities do you think make a good partner? How do you prioritise giving over getting in your relationships? Share your insights:
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